Come for the brush fire, stay and get eaten.
And have you ever been baited then switched? Sold a bill of goods? Bought a Rolex for a shockingly low price from a friendly man on the streets of New York City but, contrary to the watch maker’s sterling reputation, have it break soon thereafter?
Oh we’ve all fallen for scenarios we know, with our heads, too good to be true. The heart, though, it wants what it wants and Australia’s very smart tourism board is capitalizing on this very human trait in order to lure Brexit-weary British visitors to their sun and fire scorched, Great White shark ravaged island and let’s quickly read about the ploy on onetime news leader CNN:
Australian tourism officials are banking on Kylie Minogue to convince British tourists to take a break from all the political drama at home and take in the sights Australia has to offer.
The Grammy-winning singer, songwriter and actress stars in a humorous, three-minute music video that aired on British TV right before Queen Elizabeth II’s annual Christmas broadcast.
“I’m such a proud Australian that I’ve spent most of my life travelling around the world sharing my stories of Australia with anyone who would listen, so I kind of feel like a walking tourism advert for Australia already,” she said in a statement.
More than 700,000 people visited Australia from the UK in the year ending in June, according to Tourism Australia, making it the fourth-largest source of tourists behind China, New Zealand and the United States. They spent AUD $3.4 billion ($2.4 billion USD, £ 1.8 billion), but that’s down from the previous year.
“It’s no secret that the UK has been going through a period of uncertainty, and this has had an impact on outbound travel, including to Australia where numbers have dipped in recent months,” Tourism Minister Simon Birmingham said in a statement.
They’re hoping that the campaign, and Minogue’s popularity in the UK will encourage more tourists.
Very exciting but what will these hordes of British visitors think when they are met with a burning Eucalyptus tree? When their pasty, pale skin literally melts off their slightly-deformed bones from record-breaking heat waves? When they finally get to the beach and stumble across a human foot left behind by an extra-large “man-eating’ Great White shark?
Will they feel duped?
I would trade my American citizenship tomorrow for an opportunity to live in apocalyptic Australia.
Would you have me, mates?