Ugly twist: “Monstrous” Great White shark mauls goat boat and almost eats captain near The Endless Summer’s “perfect wave” Cape Saint Francis!

Destroyers of cinematic glory.

Well hell. Well awful, no pause in the Great White Apocalypse hell. And you thought, for one brief minute, that the “man-eating” Great White shark respected holidays? That she took time off like you and your banker?

Well apparently you have not learned enough here, here, here, etc. about his predilections, his perversions, unsurpassed work ethic for just yesterday, Christmas Day, a monstrous beast attempted to eat an entire goat boat plus its captain just off Cape Saint Francis there in bucolic South Africa, home of The Endless Summer’s “perfect wave.”

Oh, the indignity, the nastiness is clearly two-fold but let us get hard facts and details etc. before snatching our pitchforks and booking long, long, long tickets. Let’s head directly to a local news’ source.

Nahoon Beach has been closed to beachgoers after a shark attack early Thursday.

Buffalo City Metropolitan Municipality said at about 7am, a shark attacked a surf ski off Nahoon Reef.

“The paddler is fine with no injuries,” the city said in a statement.

“ … The beach will remain closed as a safety precaution.”

City officials will monitor the area.

A swimmer drowned on the beach earlier this week.

Geoff McGregor, the National Sea Rescue Institute’s East London station commander, said: “At 4.45am, Monday, December 23, NSRI East London duty crew were activated after reports of a drowning in progress at Nahoon Beach.”

A 23-year-old woman, from Queenstown, was found washed onto the beach after being swept out to sea by rip currents while swimming.

And on Sunday, two paddlers sighted a shark in the water at Oyster Bay.

Johannes Lodewyk van Rensburg, NSRI Oyster Bay station commander, said they responded when alerted to a double kayak washed up on rocks at Oyster Bay Point.

“Two men had been paddling from St Francis Bay to Oyster Bay and they were 300 metres offshore of Oyster Bay when they noticed a shark in the water.

“One man fell out of the double kayak and then the second man fell out of the double kayak. They both swam to shore without incident, abandoning their kayak,” he said.

Their kayak was found barely damaged, on Monday.

I honestly don’t understand most of that, assuming it’s in Afrikaans, but clearly see the words “Great White shark” and “St. Francis Bay.”

Let’s remember her the way she was.

Great White sharks sure are rude.

Destroying cinematic fantasy with a flash of the teeth.

Bastards.

But goat boats. I mean… you get what you deserve? Karma etc.?

No surfing in South Africa until we reach the bottom of all this and, as always, more as the story develops.