This time it's serious.
The holiday season is about so many wonderful things. Family, thankfulness, a giving spirit, delicious foods, being together, peace on earth etc. but it is mostly about sport. About winners and losers and sport and I’ll admit I was depressed in the days just after Italo Ferreira’s stirring win at the Pipe Masters for it officially ended the sporting portion of our favorite game. For professional surf fans, bleak winter begins early and doesn’t end until the sun comes up on Snapper Rocks this coming spring.
But, as I was wallowing in the depths of despair, clicking across various surf and surf-adjacent media to see how others were coping, I had a powerful idea. What if we hosted a battle royale pitting different website’s “About Us” sections against each other in the sort of heat format we’re all used to and miss so much?
Oh, you know the About Us, the place on a website usually written prior to launch then left as a monument to big dreams and/or marketing-speak.
But About Who is best? About Who do you really and truly fall in love with?
There is only one way to determine.
Let’s get ready to rumble!
Heat 1 The Inertia vs. Stab
The Inertia is the new voice of surf, mountain, and outdoor culture. With a community of 2,000+ contributors, including icons as well as up-and-comers, we offer unique, energizing perspectives on all things related to the space through news, opinions, photos, videos, and art from the community’s most talented individuals. Founded in 2010, The Inertia reaches 1.5 million+ readers monthly and aims to make sustainable impacts on the world via partnerships with leading charitable organizations.
Surfing ain’t long-hairs and doobie-suckers no more. Surfing is suited-and-booted stockbrokers. It’s university students who’ve smelt the roses and don’t swallow the evening news. It’s just-18-year-olds whose trunks end above the knee. Surfing is beavertails and logs and empowered women who ain’t adverse to a Brazilian cut, but it’s also 540s and double oops. Right now, surfing is goddamn hot and, most of all, inspired.
And Stab is inspired by it. In short, what’s this whole show about?
Big ideas and the endeavour to execute ‘em. Sometimes they don’t come off, but it’s better than wondering. Stab may be put together by a bunch of narcissistic and morally corrupt humans, but goddamn it, if we ain’t the most obsessive collective you ever did see… …while you were sleeping, our eyes stayed open.
Heat 2 Surfline vs. WSL
Our culture is founded on five core values that we treat as guiding lights in all that we do. They are: Bring Your Passion, Be Humble, Keep It Personal, Set Your Line, and Push Our Limits. These values are foundational to fulfilling our purpose for making ocean enthusiasts’ lives better.
The World Surf League organizes the annual tour of professional surf competitions and broadcasts each event live at WorldSurfLeague.com where you can experience the athleticism, drama and adventure of competitive surfing — anywhere and anytime it’s on.
Travel alongside the world’s best male and female surfers to the most remote and exotic locations in the world. Fully immerse yourself in the sport of surfing with live event broadcasts, social updates, event highlights and commentary on desktop and mobile.
Heat 3 Surfer vs. The Surfer’s Journal
In 1960, SURFER Magazine began as the original, and with our long history of delivering on the promise we began with, SURFER has earned its moniker as The Bible of the Sport. That promise, quite simply, was to offer you a slice of the entire surfing world with each issue, through an array of provocative and insightful editorial features, revealing interviews, and most of all, our award winning state-of-the-art photography.
As a reader-supported surf publication, The Surfer’s Journal is a truly unique periodical. It’s an independent take on the surfing experience with just six sponsors, making each 132-page issue almost entirely editorial. We delve into topics that get little attention elsewhere, covering travel adventures, surfboard design, profiles of surfing’s most colorful subjects, and the choicest surf photography in every issue. Coupled with the premium construction, The Surfer’s Journal is a product that is peerless in its quality and content.
Heat 4 Tracks vs. CoastalWatch
Tracks is the brand which blazes a trail into surfing’s future without forgetting to occasionally look in the rear vision mirror.
Relentlessly creative and restlessly innovative, Tracks will always strive to make you see surfing and surf culture in new and engaging ways.
Our design style is progressive with a strong focus on emphasizing the unique elements of every story and subject matter. Meanwhile, Tracks editorial strives to be entertaining in a rip your head off kind of way.
It is Tracks who ordains surfing’s heroes, brings colourful characters to life and captures the essence of what it is to be a surfer in the modern world. We boast the most dynamic contributor list of any Australian surfing magazine and our motto is “Boredom is The Enemy.”
Since its inception in 1998, Coastalwatch has been committed to bringing the coast to you. With live camera vision, forecasts and news and features from around the country’s coast, it’s grown into the Australia’s most comprehensive coastal reference site.
Using our camera network and working with some of the country’s pre-eminent coastal scientists our monitoring arm, CoastalCOMS, provides vital real-time data on beach erosion, risk and surf quality for councils and governments, lifeguards and rescue services.
Decide the winner of each heat below…
And Merry Christmas to all!