This time it's serious.
The holiday season is about so many wonderful
things. Family, thankfulness, a giving spirit, delicious
foods, being together, peace on earth etc. but it is mostly about
sport. About winners and losers and sport and I’ll admit I was
depressed in the days just after Italo Ferreira’s stirring win at
the Pipe Masters for it officially ended the sporting portion of
our favorite game. For professional surf fans, bleak winter begins
early and doesn’t end until the sun comes up on Snapper Rocks this
coming spring.
Sad.
But, as I was wallowing in the depths of despair, clicking
across various surf and surf-adjacent media to see how others were
coping, I had a powerful idea. What if we hosted a battle royale
pitting different website’s “About Us” sections against each other
in the sort of heat format we’re all used to and miss so much?
Oh, you know the About Us, the place on a website usually
written prior to launch then left as a monument to big dreams
and/or marketing-speak.
But About Who is best? About Who do you really and truly fall in
love with?
There is only one way to determine.
Let’s get ready to rumble!
Heat 1 The Inertia vs. Stab
The Inertia is the new voice of surf, mountain, and outdoor
culture. With a community of 2,000+ contributors, including icons
as well as up-and-comers, we offer unique, energizing perspectives
on all things related to the space through news, opinions, photos,
videos, and art from the community’s most talented individuals.
Founded in 2010, The Inertia reaches 1.5 million+ readers monthly
and aims to make sustainable impacts on the world via partnerships
with leading charitable organizations.
Vs.
Surfing ain’t long-hairs and doobie-suckers no more. Surfing
is suited-and-booted stockbrokers. It’s university students who’ve
smelt the roses and don’t swallow the evening news. It’s
just-18-year-olds whose trunks end above the knee. Surfing is
beavertails and logs and empowered women who ain’t adverse to a
Brazilian cut, but it’s also 540s and double oops. Right now,
surfing is goddamn hot and, most of all, inspired.
And Stab is inspired by it. In short, what’s this whole show
about?
Big ideas and the endeavour to execute ‘em. Sometimes they
don’t come off, but it’s better than wondering. Stab may be put
together by a bunch of narcissistic and morally corrupt humans, but
goddamn it, if we ain’t the most obsessive collective you ever did
see… …while you were sleeping, our eyes stayed open.
Heat 2 Surfline vs. WSL
Our culture is founded on five core values that we treat as
guiding lights in all that we do. They are: Bring Your Passion, Be
Humble, Keep It Personal, Set Your Line, and Push Our Limits. These
values are foundational to fulfilling our purpose for making ocean
enthusiasts’ lives better.
Vs.
The World Surf League organizes the annual tour of
professional surf competitions and broadcasts each event live at
WorldSurfLeague.com where you can experience the athleticism, drama
and adventure of competitive surfing — anywhere and anytime it’s
on.
Travel alongside the world’s best male and female surfers to
the most remote and exotic locations in the world. Fully immerse
yourself in the sport of surfing with live event broadcasts, social
updates, event highlights and commentary on desktop and
mobile.
Heat 3 Surfer vs. The Surfer’s Journal
In 1960, SURFER Magazine began as the original, and with our
long history of delivering on the promise we began with, SURFER has
earned its moniker as The Bible of the Sport. That promise, quite
simply, was to offer you a slice of the entire surfing world with
each issue, through an array of provocative and insightful
editorial features, revealing interviews, and most of all, our
award winning state-of-the-art photography.
Vs.
As a reader-supported surf publication, The Surfer’s Journal
is a truly unique periodical. It’s an independent take on the
surfing experience with just six sponsors, making each 132-page
issue almost entirely editorial. We delve into topics that get
little attention elsewhere, covering travel adventures, surfboard
design, profiles of surfing’s most colorful subjects, and the
choicest surf photography in every issue. Coupled with the premium
construction, The Surfer’s Journal is a product that is peerless in
its quality and content.
Heat 4 Tracks vs. CoastalWatch
Tracks is the brand which blazes a trail into surfing’s
future without forgetting to occasionally look in the rear vision
mirror.
Relentlessly creative and restlessly innovative, Tracks will
always strive to make you see surfing and surf culture in new and
engaging ways.
Our design style is progressive with a strong focus on
emphasizing the unique elements of every story and subject matter.
Meanwhile, Tracks editorial strives to be entertaining in a rip
your head off kind of way.
It is Tracks who ordains surfing’s heroes, brings colourful
characters to life and captures the essence of what it is to be a
surfer in the modern world. We boast the most dynamic contributor
list of any Australian surfing magazine and our motto is “Boredom
is The Enemy.”
Vs.
Since its inception in 1998, Coastalwatch has been committed
to bringing the coast to you. With live camera vision, forecasts
and news and features from around the country’s coast, it’s grown
into the Australia’s most comprehensive coastal reference
site.
Using our camera network and working with some of the
country’s pre-eminent coastal scientists our monitoring arm,
CoastalCOMS, provides vital real-time data on beach erosion, risk
and surf quality for councils and governments, lifeguards and
rescue services.
Decide the winner of each heat below…
And Merry Christmas to all!
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