“Our main focus is to get more Queenslanders more active, more often through the sport of surfing.”
In an appalling, unprecedented and unprovoked attack, Queensland Australia’s state government has declared war on its local surfing population. Officials and community leaders are gathered days ago for the sixth biennial Global Wave Conference in order to implement a partnership between Queensland Government and Surfing Queensland that will likely “aggravate and annoy” surfers from Mick Fanning’s Gold Coast to Julian Wilson’s Sunshine Coast and never has a specific group been so brutally targeted for destruction in Australia’s proud history.
Per the press release dripping with malice and indignity:
Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk announced the partnership at the Gold Coast World Surfing Reserve, stating that the “Government fought to protect this part of the Gold Coast for surfers and ocean lovers, and WE WANT MORE PEOPLE to take part in surfing at all levels from recreation to elite.
“So supporting people who face barriers into surfing makes sense right now.”.
With more than 350,000 surfers in the state, Queensland Minister for Sport Mick de Brenni said the partnership would encourage more people to take part in surfing, regardless of their age, gender, background, ability or location, commenting “this partnership delivers diversity and inclusion programs for recreational, club and surf school participants that will allow individuals to overcome barriers to participation, including targeted programs for people with a disability, women and girls, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and other under-represented groups.
Surfing Queensland Chief Executive, Adam Yates said he is thrilled to see the new partnership come to fruition, noting “we are incredibly proud that surfing is one of six sports identified to create a meaningful impact with this strategy.
“We firmly believe that surfing promotes a healthy lifestyle and can improve the quality of life for all Queenslanders.
“This new partnership will strengthen our delivery network, making surfing more accessible for all Queenslanders – whether you are five years old or 50.
“Our main focus is to get more Queenslanders more active, more often through the sport of surfing.”
New South Wales is already rumored to have closed its borders with Queensland and all flights from Coolangatta’s airport to Melbourne and Perth have been cancelled.
BeachGrit will continue to monitor the situation from its Cardiff-by-the-Sea desk and plans to up reports of shark attacks in and around Queensland as well as stingray attacks, jellyfish attacks and broken bottle attacks, the broken bottles being held by disgruntled and stupid surfers.
More as the story develops.
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Isn’t the Gold Coast Coronaviris central for the western world?
Go for the surf, stay for the infection.
QLD govs are always fucking crazy. It was a Police State up there in the 1970s and 1980s.
I hope the majority of Australia’s surfers move there.
If you live on the goldie and and expect uncrowded waves you should consider moving.
Or a labotamy
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There’s noone on any of those set waves in the pic.
WTF?
it starts with a surf lesson, then you meet some longhaired “dudes” in the car park who invite you to bbq. wanting to be part of the scene you go to the bbq where you are offered a puff on a marijuana cigarette. just one puff, what harm can it do? two weeks later you are giving $5 hand shandies behind the bottle shop to get your next fix. its a slippery slope people. best stay away from it. and I have heard there are sharks in the ocean. lots of em. tell em Charlie.
First they’s snorting the marijuanas. Next thing you know, they’s shooting up abortions… (injecting them into they veins).
Stem cell therapy?
Wow, you had a bad trip didn’t you
we need more of those scientific studies where random statistical correlation between two unrelated factors makes surfing seem bad “people who surf are 27.6% more likely to raise children with drug addiction”
Know the science. It’s 276% more likely.
Volunteering to hold broken bottles sir.
But seriously, I’m about to head up to Noosa in an hour or two to get a taste of some point waves for the first time in a while. Chances are the carpark will be overrun with numbskulls, given the annual ‘Festival of Surfing’ is about to take place so the area is being taken over by performance longboards dicking up eminently shortboardable waves. So, volunteering to hold broken bottles sir.
god help you.
Beep….”god can’t take your call right now, but if you leave a message,I’ll try to call you back as soon as possible. No need to leave your #. I’m all knowing. “
I piked it. Carpark was a madhouse. Sweep was running at about 12kn and the waves were firing. Couldn’t convince myself that paddling my guts out for 15 minutes to stay in place and then take a chance on an inside runner and then getting caught inside was worth it.
Just 3 to 4 state funded wave pools at the fun parks – 2-3 pools on sunny coast couple out Mt isa and a few more on the cyclone coast should solve it
Well I am on the Goldie right now, looking out a hotel window and watching a Stand Up Paddleboarder trying to catch eight inch river waves about 400m down the Tweed. So I don’t see how it could get any worse.
It could be your bro. Ohhhh…is it?
No. But i think he was pretty much the only surfer in the world not out at Snapper etc just now. Fun! But so many people!!
How’s that other point looking?
Currumbin Alley is off its head! Same goes for Lennox Point and Byron Bay.
Many times whilst surfing SnapBowMount or Kirra people would complain to a mate of mine about how crowded it is/was!!! His response was invariably “….MATE…YOU ARE THE CROWD!”
Exactly.
Trust me Nick, it can get worse. The Wsl, Dirk, Elo (pro surfing), and others are ramping up for the Olympics. The more surfers–the better for the Wsl and pro surfing. Wake up! and smell the kelp! —the Wsl wants more viewers, more surfers, more money, they want to sell surfing to the world. They are not your friends.
The worst part is you having the desire to tell us where you are.
“Miscarriage of justice” but they might get the juicy smollet case right this time.
All time low with this attempt. I can see playing the long game is a legitimate option, but surely there’s some other way for Australia to get a title contender?
Terrible!
And none of those “surfers” being stocked in the airdrop even have boards. Can you imagine your local being plagued by a swarm of… bodysurfers?! It sends a chill down one’s spine.
they are being dropped to protect board riders from shark attack.its an aerial drumline.
I’ll take the bodysurfers, they back off pretty easy–
it coulda been Sups air dropping….
You probably can’t even stand up