WSL Fantasy Surfer Champ Predicts Winner of Today’s Democratic Primary in Iowa!

And it ain't crazy Uncle Joe.

Two weeks ago, BeachGrit peeled back the curtain on the WSL’s Fantasy Surfer champion Shane Starling, a forty-eight-year-old cycling enthusiast and occasional surfer from Perth, Western Australia, and who now lives in Berlin, Germany.

Shane, you’ll recall, picked ten of the eleven event winners in 2019 using a visualisation technique, and a little astral travelling, that puts him on the podium where he can identify the winner.

It was only the absurdist Freshwater Pro that muddied his water “because the system was so different,” he says.

With the Dems going into primary season to choose their candidate to face-off against the Orange Man, we figured we’d get Shane to pick the winner of each primary.

I wrote to Shane for his take on the opening primary in Iowa.

This is his response.

Feelin’ pretty psyched after visiting the Perth Observatory last night. The starry night was still, warm and some 60 of us were wowed by all those nebulae and globular clusters the volunteer astrophysicists enthused about as we peered through those gigantic seeing machines into the endless crazed folds of space and time.

Orion, the Taranatula, the Red Jewel…my nieces seemed bored…it was hard to fathom…I tried to explain that the telescope was a kind of screen not unlike the other ones they were so very addicted to…they just laughed and ran off…

Anyhoo,

So it’s off in the US innit…eight months of freak politics. The Donald v The Democrats. As an Australian living mostly in Berlin, today’s Iowa Democratic Primary is very close to my heart.

I’m feelin’ the Bern’ here and not just because Bernie and Berlin is only one little letter off a sweet anagram. They love Bernie in “poor but sexy” Berlin as a mayor called the city awhile back.

Mit dem sozialismus sind wir frei!!!

(We are free with socialism!)

Bern’s lookin’ good in Iowa too, way out in front of Liz, Pete, Joe and the other minor Dems at the bookies, a HEAVY FAVOURITE in fact. 

Bernie lost by an imperial bee’s whisker to Mrs Clinton last time out in Iowa and she then went on to get thumped by The Donald in the presidential election (un)real later in the year.

Sad.

So yeah, Bern. This may be one of the easiest Primaries the bunion-faced bodysurfing lover faces all year. Go on Bernie!

Tomorrow, Shane explains how to astral travel and reveals the winner of the Quiksilver Pro at Snapper, three months away.