Extremely Homeric.
The Coronavirus Gestapo’s iron grip on the world’s surfing community has loosened, slightly, this past week with beaches opening or whispers of them opening soon. The Reign of Terror being, at least momentarily, paused.
Oh, many will flock to the sand, to the waves, and try to re-create the simple pleasures of days before a Chinese bat destroyed freedom but those in Cocoa Beach, Florida should exercise extreme caution and probably not surf at all for it is there that a savage 10-foot Great White shark is swimming in a lagoon very close to people.
Very close to their toes, ankles and calf muscles.
But you certainly know Cocoa Beach as hometown of the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater. He is not there. He is in Australia not being allowed to look at the ocean and the shark is certainly mocking him. Mocking him exactly like Odysseus’s suitors mocked him whilst he was on his great Odyssey, trying to get with his wife and whatnot.
Per the shark tracking organization OCEARCH:
Surprise Brevard County! A near 10-foot male Great White Shark named ‘Cabot’ has registered inside the Indian River Lagoon near SR 528 in Cocoa on Saturday, according to Ocearch.
The ‘ping’ came in at 11:14 a.m. on Saturday which registers a satellite tracker attached to the shark’s dorsal fin when it breaks the surface of the water.
‘Cabot’ was recorded as a 9-foot-eight inch, sub-adult white shark, and weighing in around 533-pounds when it was tagged October 5, 2018 in Nova Scotia.
Ocearch’s partner, SeaWorld, named him using suggestions from Nova Scotians after the explorer John Cabot.
Since being tagged in 2018, ‘Cabot’ has logged more than 6,700 miles of distance covered.
This is the first known recording of an Ocearch tagged Great White Shark pinging inside the Indian River Lagoon, since Ocearch began tagging sharks in 2007.
Great mockery seeing that Kelly Slater had a very lousy 2007 only winning the Boost Mobile Pro across the country at Lower Trestles.
But how will Kelly respond? Like Odysseus and eventually coming back to claim his rightful place as husband and lover or like Steve Harvey and just leave the old gal behind forever?
Much to ponder.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
I’m enjoying watching all the cowards around the world be told they cant surf. Hows that working out for all of you? Haven’t missed a session. Buy a boat u broke kooks!
Kelly Slater remains among the World’s greatest surfers. The writing ability of The Author of this article is among the worst writers in the World. The author of this article may have held his breath too long while under water and suffered some serious brain damage.
Please quit writing like Tana Mongeau and her click bait titles, thank you.
Who is Tana? What if she’s copying my click bait titles? The joy of being newly illiterate is being freed from charges of plagiarism!
Lets just be grateful that we are still here on this beautiful planet .
Others are not so fortunate .
Big hugs to all
Kaz
Im sure Kelly will be back in our beautiful Aussie waters soon as will we all
Enjoy life now as very soon it will be chaotic again ….
Big hugs
Kaz
Why in the hell is the moron that wrote this article allowed to even write an article? “Savage” has this shark actually attacked anyone? Its uneducated idiots like yourself, scaring people into thinking everytime someone gets in the ocean, they will be attacked by a shark. Also you are the exact reason many sharks have been killed uselessly and unnecessarily to near extinction in some case. Good job moron scare people for no reason, and continue spreading lies and fear, over swimming in the ocean.
You must be new here.
Definitely .
lol
If you go through Chad’s articles you see satire , existential ennui , sharks awaltzing and heaven forbid , the twelve sharks of Christmas amongst others all written tongue in cheek. Most of us that use the ocean are not going to turn into raving shark hating hunters because of it. On the contrary most surfers and mudrakers have a healthy respect for the ocean and it’s denizens and are all more than aware of it’s and it’s occupants importance in our world. We do however enjoy the articles attracting the likes of yourself so we can have a bit of fun while our primary recreation and reason for living is off limits . Please come back again.
not being allowed to look at the ocean? He’s driving up and down the east coast like, well like someone who is not affected by Australia’s travel restrictions! Goldie one day, Sydney the next!
Looks like Ocearch has since decided to remove the ping inside the Indian River. Guessing it was a tracking system glitch?
There in the ocean nearer to Coco-a sharkyboi pursues,
Frightening countenance, black eyes a flickering, so so so sinister.
Foraging fearlessly only for surf flesh to fill his stomach.
The GOAT as savior, the native son? He lives on the Gold Coast, so nope.
Gestapo to getcha, you bald head, bad opinioned, fat cat shat. We hope.
Another will have to liberate Coco-a’v sharkyboi’s tyranny.
Perhapsith, the other famous guy from there could. Carrot Top? Rapture us…
Chas can we get a shark-covid-Elo-ashton-asian chicken salad article? Might as well get all your sacred cows into one.
Working on it!
GOAT said he’d write a top 10 pipe list based on what he’s seen over the years if you or derek hit him up. You game?