A terror worse than death?
It is difficult to remember now, but there was once a time when surf brands made money and had money. Millions. Billions. Capitalizing on an 80s – 90s lust for day-glo’d, tan, Michael J. Fox-adjacent vision of rad.
Quiksilver, Billabong, Hot Tuna, Rip Curl, et. al. sold the dream in, retrospectively, win-win fashion. Poseurs” in the “val” wore the clothes, talked the talk, and supported the likes of Kelly Slater, Dane Reynolds and surfboards to you and me with razor thin margins.
The wheels fell off, of course, when that valley poseur transitioned to parkour then non-binary sexuality all while wearing Forever 21 but the brands continued to limp along until this Coronavirus Apocalypse and now real, real trouble looms.
Furloughed workers. Slashed budgets. “Normal” forever yesterday’d.
Well, as your enlightened friend says, “this too shall pass” and it shall but what does “surfing” look like on the other side?
Will Volcom hire back its workers tout suite? Will shoppers flock back to Rip Curl stores?
Hmmmm.
Maybe?
But certainly many, millions, billions, will flock back to the beach, grab an instructor who grabs a soft-top because surfing is relatively free, everyone is laid-off and “honey, let’s scrap this year’s cruise and go learn surfing in Santa Cruz.”
Out-of-work Rip Curl store employees fall back on teaching surfing.
Out-of-work Quiksilver store employees fall back on teaching surfing.
Lifeguards, supplementing income and witnessing the invading hordes, fall back on teaching surfing.
Ashton Goggans, now fighting fit because he can’t afford food, Sam McIntosh and other furloughed Stab employees fall back on teaching surfing.
No?
No longer poseurs in the val but VALs not poseuing. VALs in the lineup.*
Don’t worry, we’ll always have sharks, but tell me I’m wrong.
Tell me the end of this current, novel apocalypse doesn’t lead to one far more insidious.
But also, what will these now ludicrously rich surf instructors and soft-top manufacturers do with their money?
More as the story develops.
*Pleasure Point etc. but how long before they accidentally drift out to The Lane?
Chris Dixon and Frank: please email [email protected] from the address you'd like your BeachGrit login on.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Gravedigger?
I think I’d rather dig ditches than teach surf lessons.
just saw an ad on fb for investors in a Latin American surf camp… fucking conquistadors can suck my donkey dong!! guy already owns one in Sumatra.
VALs doing circles on finless softies … as the industry circles the drain.
are you kidding, this is the end of the Val Era.
Catch-It
Bad Boys
Bad Dog (he wouldn’t sit, he wouldn’t beg, he was a bad dog!)
also, don’t name spots !
Take a good look in the mirror stab, and you’ll see you’re the root of the coronavirus pandemic.
bats
The cruise industry is super fucked. The one in Florida right now is floating death bed. The supposedly novel coronavirus free one they let in here the other day has a bunch of sickees it turns out.
That’s the best surf photo ever! It’s like a Mad Magazine depiction of surfing.
No one cunt up on feet!
Maybe there will be a resurgence of grassroots surfing, even… localism?
Surfing’s New Dark Ages are here.
It’s been pretty funny listening to the “locals” here complaining about the increase in blowins
There’s clearly not enough localisim any more. There’s definitely a massive gap that needs to be filled by violent localisim especially. It would bring community together, like it did.
It’s about to happen. A few words yesterday at a local beach when a few surfers from a beach 30km away turned up. They were recognized by a local aspiring WQS-er who had seen/met them at a few contests over the years.
I’m hoping Goggans teaches surf, sneering from a deck chair clad in dressing gown and slippers.
Any word/insight on how the Stab business model will fare? Is faring?
Gotta love the BG Adsense-adjacent financial backbone. It’s idiot proof. Proof of idiots.
Oh my goodness… No insight but banking on brand backing and hedging that with events must feel pretty rough in the moment.
Very rough indeed. Obviously the industry is always fickle but nobody could’ve picked this happening I guess.
Time for a corporate raid?
Corporate raid in terms of BG releasing the Electric Kool-Aid Surfboard test, Chlorine-in-the-Air and Swingers Ballroom yes! Sorry, Stab.
The surfboard test was ok but what a fuckin super rip off name of a good book
The reviewers should ingest high quality acid two hours before each board is ridden for a fair and balanced test, otherwise its all just window dressing.
Shapers too! We’d see the next phase of surf tech
The Merrick clan could use a massive dose. Might cure their pre age of enlightenment view of the universe.
Didn’t Al do a bunch of drugs in the 70’s, get in trouble and then get born again? Could more help?
Mid lengths only.
The only time riding a longboard is acceptable.
Swingers bedroom?
I just can’t wait for the first case of ironically wearing a Billabong t-shirt, just as it came at went with sneans, or junners if you will.
I scored a sweet Quick tee from an op shop for a buck. Gotta keep that surfcore Fire relief bad boy crispy for another five or six years before I wear it….
I’ve been doing it for years.
Haha. Kathmandu next?
Not sure. My sister is a fan, but I’m not sure she wears ironically. Does wait for the 50% off sales though…