Revealed: Revered ex-NBA superstar Steve Nash also “best VAL in the entire world!”

"He surfs the thing all the way into the shore I’m like, ‘it took me like three weeks to do that.’"

And how many things are you properly good at? Like, not only proud of your ability/talent but other people also acknowledge and are sometimes amazed by your skill? I’ve got one but it’s a good one.

Parallel parking.

I can whip any sized vehicle into any sized space with a casual/cool right arm on passenger seat back, twisting my head over the right shoulder, sunglasses down bridge of nose, slightly, not because they interfere but because that studied look goes well in the parallel parking game.

Vehicle backs in, I crank the wheel straight, pull forward and there we have it.

No fussing about with extra movements.

No do-overs, ever.

Oh, I wish I was as good at surfing but not everyone can be Kelly Slater or ex-Phoenix Sun all-star point guard and certain first ballot Hall of Famer Steve Nash.

The Golden State Warriors’ Hall of Fame coach Steve Kerr, who happened to be the general magic for three years during Nash’s sparkling run, went on a podcast, recently, and discussed how the Canadian also happens to be the best VAL in the entire world and here, I shall transcribe for you because who has time for anymore podcast listening?

Steve Nash came out to visit me in San Diego, probably seven or eight years ago, and I used to surf at that time, and he had never surfed before. So he, he decided to paddle out, he said ‘well what do I do?’ and I’m not a very good surfer, but I tried to give him my advice. We paddle out there, and I said, ‘hey, just you know, paddle into this, you want to do is you turn the board and you paddle. And then you kind of stand, you know, you try to stand up, you pop up real quick and now it’s probably going to take a few times,’ and he’s like, ‘okay.’ The first wave comes he paddles twice he pops up he’s surfing. He surfs the thing all the way into the shore I’m like, ‘it took me like three weeks to do that.’

Wow.

But also, we have reached a moment, I think, when we must consider that the World Surf League might never come back. That financial pressures, an “evolving” pandemic etc. could make professional surfing for an audience of 20k “unviable.”

Now, we could replace with the World VAL League though might I suggest the World Parallel Parking League?

Picture with me exotic, crowded Hong Kong, Tokyo, New York, Sydney, Paris, Copenhagen, Moscow. The world’s best parallel parkers in the world’s busiest cities. Every turn makes a title. There would be judging, of course, as well as good, old fashioned “beat the clock” action.

Speed, power, flow.

Tell me you aren’t excited.