Surf n Turf!

Crime Epidemic: Yet another man steals hundreds of dollars worth of “surf and turf” from local grocery store!

Ravenous!

As part of my surf journalism duties I search the word “surf” as it relates to “news” more than anybody save the great Nick Carroll. Sometimes there are treasures, like Saturday Night Live mainstay Colin Jost “surfing” and showing off his “buff bod” in the Hamptons.

Sometimes there is nothing save old BeachGrit stories.

More often than not there is a lurid criminal story featuring a naughty sneaker, usually male, stealing hundreds of dollars worth of surf and turf from a local grocery store.

Our latest takes us to Cleveland, Ohio where we find a man appearing on video surveillance tape, taking several plastic bags from the front of the store and a cart to the meat section. According to the police blotter, “He took about 12 packages of steaks and three packages of lobster tails and placed them in the cart. The man then went to a different aisle and placed all the items into plastic bags. He left the store without paying for the items, which included $96 worth of porterhouse steaks, $89 in ribeye steaks and $63 in lobster tails, totaling $248.”

A surf and turf feast, without doubt, but, again, I stumble on this crime almost weekly. Now, a few questions for you.

Where does surf and turf rank on the list of your favorite meals? I enjoy lobster and also enjoy steak but do not enjoy them together as I find both compete too heavily for supremacy. A perfectly prepared lobster tail beats a perfectly prepared steak but the perfectly prepared lobster tail is rare and steak has greater margin for error and so, usually, both are pretty good and make an overly filling, pretty good meal.

Also, do the thieves who steal surf and turf prepare themselves for family and friends or is there a robust black market for steak and lobster tails?

Lastly, if BeachGrit opened a restaurant would you come dine?

Biscuits and gravy would be featured on the menu. It is my favorite meal.

While we’re on the subject of eating and favorites, have you ever watched the movie Ravenous?

Oh man, it is good.


Breaking: Orange County Democratic Party “furious” over the name of local “white supremacist” John Wayne Airport; vows to cancel!

A white supremacist symbol.

There are many troubles and tribulations currently plaguing our society. Pandemic disease, much racial unrest, severe economic collapse, starvation, etc. but the worst of the worst, possibly, is that Orange County’s John Wayne Airport is actually named after John Wayne.

Triggered?

Obviously.

Thankfully, Orange County’s Democratic Party is on the case.

Per The Hollywood Reporter:

The Democratic Party of Orange County this week demanded in a resolution for John Wayne’s name, statue and other likenesses be removed from the local airport.

The document cites “a national movement to remove white supremacist symbols and names is reshaping American institutions, monuments, businesses, nonprofits, sports leagues and teams, as it is widely recognized that racist symbols produce lasting physical and psychological stress and trauma particularly to Black communities, people of color and other oppressed groups, and the removal of racist symbols provides a necessary process for communities to remember historic acts of violence and recognize victims of oppression.”

It clarified that there are “numerous calls” to remove John Wayne’s namesake from the airport due to his “white supremacist, anti-LGBT, and anti-indigenous views.”

Boom.

And so the next time you want to fly in to Orange County to surf San Diego County’s Trestles you won’t have to be humiliated and enraged.

Happy?

Duh.

Also, did you know that John Wayne’s True Grit is basically BeachGrit.

Cancel BeachGrit already.

We’re past due!


My buddy knows one of the guys at Saint Archer. Bet I can score us some brews!! I can’t drive but I’ll make a killer playlist. Gona be the best trip ever!! Shakas!!! | Photo: @revengeofthenerds

Surfline Man Goes on a Surf Trip Part 2! “A group of veteran surfers, bored and discontent, heads to the BSR Wave Park in Waco to reconnect with one another and rekindle their stoke for surfing!”

Drive like we stole it all the way to Texas, baby! No stops on the way, just drivin’…

When we last saw him, Surfline Man was gathering his bros for a trip to the BSR Wave Park in Waco.

Sure, some of his buddies weren’t that enthusiastic, and sure, Trestles is firing.

Surfline Man remains undaunted.

Surfline Man doesn’t care about your hate.

Surfline Man is going to Waco and he’s determined to convince his bros in the industry to help him get there.

from: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]> to: [email protected]
date: Jun, 20 2020, 5:20 AM
subject: Surf Trip opportunity!

Hey Dave! Long time, no see. We met at that one party at US Open two years ago, remember? Fuck, that was such a great time. So many wild stories. What happens in Huntington, stays in Huntington! I feel like you totally know what I mean.

So my buddies and I are headed to Waco for some wave pool action. We’ve got a big push on socials in the works. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but I’ve got a podcast going, Trent Talks Surf. Available on iTunes! Stoked! I just started it, but it’s already doing great numbers. We’re also going to vlog the hell out of this thing. Should be awesome!

I’m writing to see if we could do a little sponsorship deal for this thing. We’d love to showcase your brand on our social channels. It’s a great opportunity for you to get some exposure to our growing audience. We’d love to offer you first dibs on being our exclusive clothing sponsor for the length of the trip.

Also, we should totally talk advertising. I am looking to highlight some premium surf brands on my podcast, and I think you would be an excellent fit for the show.

I think we could do some awesome things together! Let me know your thoughts!

Shakas!
Trent

from: Mail Delivery Subsystem <[email protected]>
to: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]> date: Jun 20, 2020, 5:31 AM
subject: delivery status notification (failure)

Address not found.

Your message wasn’t delivered because the address couldn’t be found or isn’t able to receive mail.

The response from the remote server was:
550 5.1.1 <[email protected]> Recipient address rejected: User does not exist.

from: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]> to: [email protected]
date: Jun 20, 2002, 6:12 AM
subject: Sponsorship opportunity

Hi,

I have a not-to-be missed sponsorship opportunity that I feel would be a perfect fit for your brand.

The set-up: A group of veteran surfers, bored and discontent, heads to the BSR Wave Park in Waco to reconnect with one another and rekindle their stoke for surfing.

We plan an extensive social media push, including a Youtube vlog. I also plan several episodes on my podcast, Trent Talks Surf, which is now available on iTunes.

We’d love to offer you the opportunity to be our exclusive surfboard sponsor for the trip. We can offer exposure across our social media channels which feature a growing and affluent audience of surf enthusiasts.

I feel like a partnership would be mutually beneficial. Please let me know your thoughts at your earliest convenience!

Shakas!
Trent

from: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]> to: Ryan <[email protected]>, Dax <[email protected]>, Mike <[email protected]>, Ben Stinson <[email protected]>, Darren Taylor <[email protected]>, Chad <[email protected]>, Kyle Davies <[email protected]>
date: Jun 21, 2020, 5:01 AM
subject: Surf Trip Plans!!
Surf trip buddies!

I am so excited about this trip, you guys! It’s going to be so much fun.

So I’ve been reaching out to some industry friends to get us a little sponsorship love and I feel pretty confident it’s going to work out. Some new boards would be pretty fucking sweet about now!

So I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have a podcast going now. It’s call Trent Talk Surf and you can find it on iTunes with all the rest of the cool kids. Next up, I’m trying to get Tom Lochtefeld, the dude who invented like all the wave pools to come on and talk about how they work. Should be so awesome!

Please leave me feedback on iTunes. Gotta feed the algorithm, you know! And share it on your social media. Every bit helps and we gotta pump the numbers, so we can score some shwag for our trip.

Okay, so dates! It looks like the week of July 20th is our best bet. We’ll leave from here in San Clemente on Saturday the 18th, 4am sharp! Drive like we stole it all the way to Texas, baby! No stops on the way, just drivin’

I’ll drive my Sprinter, but we probably need more than one car. Who else can drive?

I’ve made reservations for us at the wave pool. I just need you to venmo me $600 each to cover the cost.

That’s it for now! Stay tuned for a full itinerary!

Shakas!
Trent

from: Chad <[email protected]> to: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]>, Ryan <[email protected]>, Dax <[email protected]>, Mike <[email protected]>, Ben Stinson <[email protected]>, Darren Taylor <[email protected]>, Kyle Davies <[email protected]>
date: Jun 21, 2020, 1:15 PM
subject: Surf Trip Plans!!

My buddy knows one of the guys at Saint Archer. Bet I can score us some brews!! I can’t drive but I’ll make a killer playlist. Gona be the best trip ever!!

Shakas!!!

from: Kyle <[email protected]>
to: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]>, Ryan Smith <[email protected]>, Dax <[email protected]>, Mike Sweeney <[email protected]>, Ben Stinson <[email protected]>, Darren Taylor <[email protected]>, Chad <[email protected]> date: Jun 21, 2020, 2:23 PM
subject: Re: Surf Trip Plans!!

I looked on itunes and didn’t see the podcast. Can you send a link?

I’d drive, but my wife needs the Prius to get to work. Sorry!

sent from my iphone

from: Dax <[email protected]>
to: Kyle Davies <[email protected]>, SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]>, Ryan Smith <[email protected]>, Mike Sweeney <[email protected]>, Ben Stinson <[email protected]>, Darren Taylor <[email protected]>, Chad <[email protected]>,
date: Jun 22, 2020, 2:30 AM
subject: Re: Surf Trip Plans!!

that’s cool you drive a prius man, super environmentally aware. we should all be more aware of our relationship with the planet. going green is so radical.

hey so i’m leading a drum circle for unity this saturday. you should all come out it’s going to be so spiritual and inspiring. also we’re taking up a collection for a soup kitchen in leucadia. it’s all organic and vegan. so conscious!

BLACK LIVES MATTER
Surfers for Justice
Donate: LA Freedom Fund
NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE
Coexist

from: Ryan Smith <[email protected]>
to: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]>, Dax <[email protected]>, Mike Sweeney <[email protected]>, Ben Stinson <[email protected]>, Darren Taylor <[email protected]>, Chad <[email protected]>, Kyle Davies <[email protected]>, Dave <[email protected]>
date: Jun 23, 2020, 8:46 PM
subject: Surf Trip Plans!!

Ryan, here to save the day!! I can drive my Sprinter. I don’t know how you survive sharing the one car, Kyle. And a Prius, at that! You’re insane, basically. No way I could put up with that.

So we’re driving straight through on the way out? Ambitious, man, but I’m down.

We can take it more chill on the way home. Stop in Tucson for some party times with my bros, yew!

Can’t wait to score some sweet tubes!!

from: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]> to: [email protected]
date: Jun 25, 2020, 5:56 AM
subject: Sponsorship opportunity

Just circling back on my previous note. I would not want you to miss out on this awesome opportunity for your brand!

from: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]> to: [email protected]
date: Jun 20, 2002, 6:12 AM
subject: Sponsorship opportunity

[message clipped]

from: Mike Sweeney <[email protected]>
to: SURFLINE MAN <[email protected]>, <[email protected]>, Ryan Smith <[email protected]>, Ben Stinson <[email protected]>, Darren Taylor <[email protected]>, Chad <[email protected]>, Kyle Davies <[email protected]>
date: Jun 26, 2020, 9:45 AM
subject: Re: Re: SURF TRIP!!

Please kindly remove me from your list, thank you!

Mike Sweeney
Sweeney and Associates Financial Services, LLC
Newport Beach, California


Terror from the Deep: Shark described as “over 10-foot-long Hoss-Daddy” swims by couple in Florida as they vow never to return to the water again!

Two down.

What are your most favorite things to see on vacation? Electric blue boozy drinks in shapely glasses covered with miniature parasols? A pig roasting slowly on a spit suspended over a roaring fire, fat sizzling when it drips onto the embers? Statues of Confederate war heroes broken in pieces on the sidewalk?

Well, a young couple, 22 and 21, from Kentucky saw maybe one or two of the above on a recent vacation to Panama City, Florida, but also saw something much more memorable.

A “more than 10-foot long hoss daddy” shark.

What is a hoss daddy shark?

“At first we thought it was a dolphin, but it was way too big to be a dolphin,” said the girl, who described the shark as a more than 10-foot-long “hoss-daddy.”

“As soon as it passed us, it went under, and we kinda just froze up because we didn’t know if it was going to turn around and come toward us or not,” the boy added.

After making it back to the beach, alive with all limbs attached, the two decided to never go in the water again.

“It definitely snuck up on us,” the boy said. “We didn’t hear or see it coming.”

Usually the way those dastardly apex predators work.

But also, two down, a billion to go, give or take.

Do your part.


Listen: Catastrophic injury leads heretofore mean and hurtful surf journalist into tailspin of self-reflection!

Also, David Lee Scales got barreled.

I think I broke my heels yesterday in a freak playground accident and now cannot move, or at least walk. Punishment for calling Dirk Ziff and Kelly Slater the world’s biggest hypocrites on yesterday’s chat with David Lee Scales?

Likely.

Both Dirk and Kelly share that… aura. Like Dr. Magneto in X-Men. I have not watched X-Men but feel likeDr. Magneto must have some sort of aura and that people who cross him, either physically or emotionally, are dealt swift, asymmetrical  discipline.

Or maybe they are more like Dr. No.

Well, sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you.

In other news, David Lee Scales and I spoke about linguistics (my specialty), Dirk Ziff, Kelly Slater and his (David Lee’s) recent visit to the Palm Springs Surf Club.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1sQVaHhLa/

It’ll send even the biggest wave pool hater directly to Tablet to see if there are any nearby design hotels available at Covid-19 prices.

Listen here.