South African police refuse to enforce
country’s “ham-fisted, schizophrenic” no surfing laws; help surfers
zip up their wetsuits!
By Chas Smith
"It was a wondrous sight."
The police sure are taking one on the chin
right now what with protests roiling New York, Los Angeles, Sydney,
Paris. Rage. Pure rage boiling over from years, decades, of largely
unchecked, brutal behavior. Systemic abuse of vulnerable minority
communities, complete lack of accountability, a heretofore
impenetrable blue wall of silence.
But change, maybe, real change floats on the fresh summer/autumn
breeze with talk of defunding forces getting real traction and/or
police being punished, actually punished, for acting
inhumanely.
And in South Africa, police acting beautifully all by
themselves. Oh, let us hurry to the Cape
of Good Hope where “hundreds, if not thousands, of
South African surfers went surfing in the bright blue on Monday, 1
June 2020, it remained wrapped in a grey area, a ham-fisted land of
schizophrenic interpretation and mind-numbingly incongruous
application of Level 3 laws.”
The floodgates opened as more and more surfers paddled out
in clean 2-4 lines with perfect light offshore and deep blue skies.
You sensed that the police were increasingly reluctant to clash
with people brimming with joy. I overhead one jovial law
enforcement officer amicably tell a small clump of onlookers that
access to the beaches was not allowed, but surfing was. “You do
what you have to do. I have to do what I am told.”
A surfer walked up to him and asked the cop to zip up his
wetsuit. He obliged without hesitation, then politely watched the
surfer walk across the forbidden sands to paddle out. It was a
wondrous sight. I felt like going up to him and giving him a hug.
Oh wait. Covid-19. What a screwed up world this pandemic has
brought.
Wondrous indeed.
Change, maybe real change.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Melbourne wave tank to reopen June 19; new
slab that stays open in onshores and improved version of “the
beast” that don’t pinch or chandelier to be revealed!
By Derek Rielly
Guaranteed tubes at seven dollars apiece ain't a
bad sell.
It’s been a wild debut year for Australia’s first, and
still only, public wave tank, located a mile-and-a-half
walk, run or thirty-dollar cab ride from Melbourne airport.
In January, Urbnsurf was closed after freak “mud rain” left
the facility with a brown tank. It was an act of God that must’ve
taken the joint’s PR team by surprise given “mud-rain” is unlikely
to’ve made it onto the list of potential closures. Death,
turds, paralysis, board through an eyeball, lightning, hail, these
you can prepare for and mount compelling responses to.
But to be shat on from outer space?
Mud rain shuttered the pool three months before
COVID’s poisoned droplets parachuted down from outer
space.
Also shitting on the pool was a Chinese-made influenza that
shuttered the pool, and everything else, for two months.
Urbnsurf used the time closed to jump into a little early
maintenance: peeling paint was patched, the generator got an early
service etc.
In two weeks, the place reopens.
With a few changes, most of ’em good.
Right now it’s eighty bucks to jump in a pool with eighteen
other surfers hollering for each set’s twelve waves. (There’s
eighteen sets an hour.)
Upon reopening, a new sesh for what can loosely be called
“experts” will cost $129, twelve surfers in the water and every set
a slab or “beast mode” and its three variants. If it’s
onshore, you’ll just get B4, a new version of the Beast that will
stay open even if a mean ol’ southerly is tearing hell out of the
place.
The other Beast modes have also been tweaked, reducing the weird
chandeliering you get sometimes,
Eighteen tubs for $A129 or $US90 works out a pretty reasonable
seven bucks apiece.
You wanna know if there’s an air wave yet?
Yeah, me too.
They got two.
One’s called The Ramp; the other don’t have a name but it’s
supposedly “Waco-esque”.
No plans to loose it to the public sessions yet ’cause it’s so
intimidating, effectively the Beast mode as a closeout.
(Book a private hour for $1500 and you can call in whatever you
want.)
And the water temp?
In the guts of summer it hovered around twenty (sixty-five F);
now it’s down to twelve (fifty-three F).
As a rule, it’s a buck-and-a-half under Victoria’s ocean water
temps.
Brrrrrr, yeah, although you can now hire four-three and
five-four Rip Curl suits.
Booties, hoods, too.
Jacuzzis remain closed until further notice.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Listen: “We live in a minefield and the
best way across is to just run, willy-nilly, blowing off our legs
and arms but at least giving ‘er hell!”
By Chas Smith
Cancel surfers.
OOOOOOOOOOOeeeeeee! How in the world is the
surf community supposed to speak to this moment in modernity? This
fraught day and age where a thoroughly degraded culture is being
served its just desserts?
My goodness.
We, 80% (generous) white, are caught in a absurdist paradigm of
shutting up and speaking out. Rumor has it that the World Surf
League just cancelled a podcast with a guest simply because he was
a white man.
Well, hell.
Minefield.
So what?
I don’t know.
I do know that surfing has a proud history
(pre-WSL/Stab/Inertia) of being outlaw. Of being derelict,
distrusted, bad and, thus, we non-Venice-adjacents should all
support the oppressed in every way possible.
Always.
How?
Police?
Fuck the.
Efficient modern authority structures?
Fuck them.
Besides that, I don’t know. I don’t know who to give to, where
to go, who to support but am listening and also running across the
minefield.
Revealed: Professional surfer Jack
Freestone denies troubling addiction to Keeping up with the
Kardashians, Vanderpump Rules!
By Chas Smith
He needs our help.
Professional surfers… they’re just like us.
Tan, fit, model gorgeous with homes in Australia and Kauai,
extremely silky barrel skills, above average air games, tan, fit,
model gorgeous spouses and children who will someday make them even
richer.
But, underneath the perfect facade and also just like us,
trouble often lurks.
Drinking problems, uncontrolled gambling, watching modern
reality television like Keeping up with the Kardashians or
Vanderpump Rules but denying it.
Alas, the heartbreaking troubles of Jack Freestone, coupled with
Alana Blanchard, are worrisome but let us hasten to the pages of
E!
Entertainment for more, so we can help Jack confront
his demons.
What’s also special is Alana and Jack’s bond in and out of
the water. While many days are spent catching waves, the pair also
enjoys daytime dates and picnics outside.
And yes, Jack is guilty of tuning into his leading lady’s
favorite reality TV shows.
“I’ll be watching either Vanderpump Rules or Keeping Up With
the Kardashians and he’ll pretend to not want to watch it but then
he’s fully tuning in,” she joked to us. “I keep up with Kim
Kardashian and Kanye West. He always gives me so much s–t about my
reality TV but I just love them and every time I watch, he’s
glued.”
Classic addiction behavior what with the “giving s–t” but
secretly indulging.
Jack? If you are reading, the second step to recovery is
admitting you have a problem. The first is public ridicule (see
above).
Also, when I first skimmed the E! story I confused Vanderpump
Rules with the film Van Wilder and thought, “What’s wrong with
watching Van Wilder?”
A fine work that doesn’t get nearly enough attention.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Gimme: Surf icon-turned-architect’s
$US13-million Malibu spread in
safe-from-looters-and-anti-capitalist-rioters gated community!
“None will ever be able to come close to his genius of style!”
By Derek Rielly
Nobody gonna touch you in the Bu!
Long before Venice surf rat Strider Wasilewski
shucked off his Dog Town beginnings and became the king of Point
Dume, one of surfing’s great pioneers, Matt
Kivlin, designed and built a surfer’s palace on a
three-quarter-acre spread above Paradise Cove in the gated enclave
Sea Lane.
Kivlin, who died in 2014, is the sorta guy whose legend would’ve
been lost to history if it wasn’t for the relentless archiving of
Seattle-based
former-surfer Matt Warshaw.
Elegant regularfoot surfer and boardmaker from Santa Monica,
California; often cited as California’s best wave-rider in the late
1940s and early ’50s; creator of the slouched, knees-together,
neatly synchronized “Malibu” surfing style. “Many have been
heavily influenced by the Kivlin technique, myself included,” Miki
Dora said in 1969. “However, none will ever be able to come
close to this genius of style.”
As a boardmaker, Kivlin is best remembered as a co-creator,
in the late ’40s, of the “girl boards”—pared-down all-balsa
equipment made for a handful of high school girls who were taking
to the water at Malibu. These easy-turning boards were then
appropriated by the guys. The girl boards were the forerunner of
the “Malibu chip” design. Kivlin and Quigg also developed the first
narrow-based raked-back surfboard fin, a design idea that
inexplicably went ignored until the mid-’60s.
Just as inexplicably, I suppose, Kivlin quit surfing just before
his fortieth birthday and nine years later opened an architecture
biz in Santa Monica, quickly becoming one of the country’s most
sought-after architects, building over two hundred houses, almost
half of ’em in Malibu.
And his old house in Sea Lane, which just came on the market for
thirteen-mill, is a testament to his skills.
It’s a compelling sell.
Live the ultimate
lifestyle with swimming, diving, surfing, paddleboarding, beachside
board storage, and more all right there in your front
yard. This amazing ocean view property features multiple
structures including a four-bedroom main house designed by famed
architect Matt Kivlin, a newly constructed contemporary guest
house, and a separate creative media production space – all set on
3/4 of an acre of prime beachside real estate.
Real fine backyard.
The main residence is
light-filled and open with a bohemian vibe and easy indoor-outdoor
flow leading to sun-drenched decks, a saltwater pool and spa, an
outdoor gym with a sauna and ice bath, a big grassy yard and
complete outdoor kitchen.
Across the Sea Lane
easement with a separate private entrance sit the newly constructed
Guest House and Studio. In a lush garden setting with a pond,
fountain and fire pit the modern guest house is smartly equipped
with a gourmet kitchen, walk-in closet, polished concrete floors,
standing seam metal roof and jacuzzi. Across a big wrap around deck
is the separate open studio space with glass and steel
construction, polished concrete floors, sleeping loft, and Murphy
bed.
Happy living space for rich bohemian wishing to
escape looters and rioters just down the way.
The yard is alive with
fruit trees, a veggie garden, ceramics shed, outdoor bathtub and
ample parking for guests who are not going to want to leave. This
unique property offers the best of California living, privacy,
security, exclusive beach access, spacious yards, and
gardens. This exceptional opportunity is ideal for creative
souls, families or anyone looking for this coveted
lifestyle.amenities by the ocean.
Waves are down a private track, accessible only
to you and fellow inhabitants of Sea Lane.