Includes private filmer and après-surf tutorial…
If there’s a better way to spend five hundred Australian dollars I ain’t heard of it.
Dean Morrison, who is thirty-nine, is a former world number nine, Pipe Master runner-up and winner of the Quiksilver Pro in 2003.
A legend in the game, the pivotal figure in the Parkinson/Fanning/Morrison triumvirate although its least successful competitively, mainly cause he wasn’t into raking his teeth across the erected cherry nipples of ASP judges.
Now, punters, you and me, can get access Dean’s skills, his jetski, a filmer and a private tutorial for five hundred dollars, three American c-notes or thereabouts.
Dean’s coaching biz is called The Wave of Lifetime. He offers, private hour-and-a-half lessons with filmer and analysis of footage, no ski, for $350, two hours, with ski and filmer etc for $500 and a deluxe pack called Wave of Lifetime that’ll take you to anywhere within a two-hour radius of Coolangatta for two days or up to a week.
His youngest client is a nine-year-old pro surfer hopeful, his oldest is a sixty-five year old who wants to keep an edge before the sands of time run out.
When I called Dean, he was fresh out of the water after an eight-til-ten session. He tells me he got into coaching three years ago and the ski came into the equation when he realised that his marks weren’t getting that many waves.
“You see results, but not really,” he says. “With the ski, they get better straight away. You can keep telling ‘em to make little adjustments.”
The way it works is Dean’ll pick you up on his ski from either the boat ramp on Kennedy Drive, in West Tweed Heads, or from little D-Bah, a crescent of sand inside the mouth of the Tweed River just before it runs out into D-Bah.
You and he will identify something you want to work on, he’ll tow you into fifty waves or whatever, following you on the ski to analyse your style, and a few days later Deano’ll send you a split-screen of your surfing, cut with a pro surfer of a similar build, to illustrate the diff, and how you can get better.
While we’re talking he Whatsapps me a sample. It’s pretty sick. An intermediate sorta surfer is in the top frame; pro on the bottom. At each juncture of the turn, Dean commentates what’s going right and what’s going wrong.
“I just want you to see what you’re doing here, mate, you’re doing great with the compression on the bottom turn, look how low you’re getting here but what I want is for you to start rotating your shoulders so that your front hand is coming behind you in that position,” says Dean. “As you’re going along and extending, start bringing that front hand here (arrow appears on screen) to square you to the lip…”
And so on, for five minutes.
“I teach the basics, compression, extension, rotation,” he says.
Watching the same surfer get a no-rail-grab backside tube is proof the one-on-one coaching works.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CCvEzSGHHIf/
“Moments like that,” says Dean, “And they’re stoked for weeks later. Being able to be a part of that…”
He lets out a laugh.
“It’s such a gift. Fuck.”
will that song be playing while it all happens?
Isn’t he more famous for having the crap beat out him (and several times lesser times by others) famously by Laird Hamilton for urinating behind a Fiji restraunt bar while screaming at the horrified bar staff they were nothing but black gollolwog concunts?
Another shark story
$250. All he does is lock you in a room for 2 hours and plays the theme tune from Dirty Water on continuous loop.
Fosters is crap beer. NonJohn will still drink it though, only for health reasons.
https://www.alexa.com/sitei…
Declining audience, shark stories and articles like above the reason?
if that is intermediate i am fucking semi-pro.
Is there a reach-around included? Does it cost extra to film it as well?
How much can I pay to get better without having to do all that shit?
Keep surfing the internet – its free
I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s Parko and Macca lifting
Mick hoists onto shoulder reads caption. No mention of ….whose…shoulder.
Does this mean Dingo’s clients will be towed into paddle-able kirra with impunity?
Naturally. Can’t Dingo claim Kirra under native title rules?
Sign me up then! 500 for a memory burn Kirra screamer seems reasonable.
Dingo’s Māori, not Bundjalung.
Phew! I thought he would just get his jet ski and do step offs when Kirra gets above 6′. But he would never do that.
Maybe headline should read “Dingo will tow some kook in front of you on the wave of your life” wanker , ex pros with jet skis and entitlement , gold Coast “legends”
Their shit headed cuntardery knows no bounds.
you get a case of that cats piss Balter for the three fifty?
Nearly. But it will get you a weeks dog food.
How about $500 to slingshot me into Jupiters with a heavy pocket?
Tell us a tale of your last trip to Jupiters in your next article mate. Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story either. Let rip.
I worked at the joint for two years, slinging cards, real sexy joint.
Haha fuck I am having flashbacks and can kinda see you wearing a black silky vest? Is it my imagination or is this a memory?
Sounds like a dream I had
Grey with red stripes, red bow tie. Ass undulating in satin pants.
Oh boy I know what I’m wanking to next time I get on the freeway. Hope they weren’t grey satin pants. One time I wore grey suit pants to the races and I spent about three hours over the course of the day trying to dry the dribble mark of piss off under the hand dryer.
Pretty sure your arse was dulating.
It was the Spring of 2002. Schoolies. I was sitting on the shitter in my hotel room high above Caville Avenue, jaws swinging like a gate in the wind as my first ever half pinger coursed its way through my bloodstream.
“Oi surfads,” came the call from one of my equally panelled friends in the lounge room. “Y’ever seen a pair of bolt ons in the flesh?”
I wiped my arse for the third time and retied the knots on my Osiris sneakers so they cut deep into the bulging tongue.
No, I replied to Jarrell. I have not.
Yeah… go on…. and? How were the tits?
Ease up mate. I only wrote for payment. Aka beach Grit tail pads
Those things are not worth the sniffable 3M they are laid upon. Write for free and you will be free to write whatever you want.
Does he mention in the fine print that he will drop in on ya on that $500 wave of your life. You’re a fucken cunt, Dingo but I don’t think any less of ya for it.
You get a free Cooly kid silver chain though. Down for life.
Why are these ex pros
So averse to digging holes
To earn some folding?
Bite cherry nipples
Or give the rich what they want
Life forever simple
Counting syllables
Is akin to proof reading
Tidy yourself up!
But sad no good both
Letters dissolve before eyes
Tears hate profligate
Lucky for us all
Writing is an ideas game
Spelling comes second