"I felt like surfing at Teahupoo when it’s ten-to-twelve foot!"

French Polynesian surfer Michel Bourez has posted a breathless account of being hit by a “three-to-four-metre hammerhead shark” while piloting a foil-board thereby confirming the summer of 2020 as the season of the shark.

Or, more colourfully, The Summer of Blood.

See here, here and here. 

“I was doing a down wind from Tahiti (Mahina ) to Moorea (Vaiare) when a hammer shark chased my foil and bite it. He broke the tail of my @signaturefoils so I could not keep going,” wrote Michel, employing excellent use of Instagram handles.

“Then I sat on my @firewiresurfboards and waved at my friends on the boat to come and pick me up. After two-to-three minutes by myself, I felt something was wrong so I looked around me and stayed in alert just in case the shark would come back again.

“I was right!

“The three-to-four-metre hammer shark came back again at me so I put my foil in between him and I to protect myself. He bit my foil for the second time realizing it was definitely not eatable and swam back away from me. The boat picked me up a few minutes after and I was safe.

“Fifteen minutes later I decided to go foil again and finished the race we had.

“I felt like surfing at Teahupoo when it’s ten-to-twelve foot! We know the risk to get hurt or even dying but the love of our sport is too strong. EVERY TIME I go foiling in the deep blue, I’ve seen hammers sharks cruising around so I know the risk since the beginning. The ocean is their world and I respect that! No bad feelings at all! He just owe me a new foil…”

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCHEwklnB6p/

Hammerheads are unfathomably rare.

According to the International Shark Attack File there have only been seventeen recorded attacks (make that eighteen) since 1580, none fatal.

“We were not consulted on the beach closure, and will only assist our beach cities in closing parking lots and traffic enforcement on PCH," says man with badge.

On Monday, The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health ordered LA County beaches closed for the July 4 holiday weekend after a spike in COVID-19 cases.

County officials promised thousand-dollar fines for anyone who hit the beach or hovered near “piers, public beach parking lots, beach bike paths that traverse that sanded portion of the beach, and beach access points.”

“The Fourth of July holiday weekend typically means large crowds and gatherings to celebrate, a recipe for increased transmission of COVID-19,” said Barbara Ferrer, PhD, MPH, MEd, Director of Public Health. “We all need to take this virus more seriously and residents and business owners must do their part.”

Question is, who’s gonna be writing the tickets?

LA County Sheriff Alex Villanueva told FoxLA (Yeah, I know, Fox) he and his deputies ain’t gonna arrest or fine anyone.

“We were not consulted on the beach closure, and will only assist our beach cities in closing parking lots and traffic enforcement on PCH. In regards to enforcing the beach closure, we will not be enforcing it because we are ‘Care First, Jail Last.'”

Care First, Jail Last is an LA County initiative that seeks to provide care and treatment instead of jail, where possible.

Note: If you’re kicking around Malibu, you’re outta luck.

“The Malibu/Lost Hills Station Beach Team will be patrolling the beaches throughout the weekend and late into the evening. This new order makes it illegal to trespass at these locations and is punishable by law to include, but not limited to, a $1000 fine.”