Man in tattered underwear cinched by Hermes belt holds court…
Today’s guest on Dirty Water is a surfboard shaper and artist who self describes as a” stick of dynamite” and a sissy boy, the latter epithet donated by your writer in an earlier post and enthusiastically adopted.
Peter Schroff was born and raised in Newport Beach California although he now lives in San Pedro, near Los Angeles International Airport and very close to Long Beach, one of America’s most ethnically diverse cities.
At his mid-nineteen-eighties peak he was making custom surfboards as well as an “anti-surf” clothing line, both boards and t-shirts emblazoned in luminous pinks and patterned like happy tropical fish.
Lately, Schroff has fashioned himself as the anti-imported surfboard and fiercely anti-Asian, provocateur.
“Ask our foundin fathers wud day think of chinese junk?” he wrote in one Instagram post.
Schroff throws his online barbs at the Kelly Slater-owned Firewire Surfboards (although he often targets the company’s CEO Mark Price, whom he describes as the “most beautiful surfer I’ve ever seen”) and Slater Designs, companies that manufacture the bulk of their surfboards in south-east Asia.
Last week, Kelly Slater, in reference to our guest, noted that it “must be great to be in your mid-late 60’s, on drugs, sexually confused and dying for any kind of attention.”
Leave a review, kind of otherwise on Apple podcasts and we’ll send trinkets.
Chas here shows the unfortunate curse of most mildly intelligent/curious people raised in the OC: an embarrassing level of worship of the slightest eccentricity. Wide-eyed badgering of a true individual like Schroff to continually explain his own eccentricity, like it’s some kind performative magic trick, and not just an authentic, original being, well…authentic and original. It always makes me sad for the towheaded, culture-starved children of the Southland.
Horrendous waste of time. A Charlie Smith passion project ‘Flogging a dead horse’.
I came to the comments for the spark notes god dammit
Interesting but he was all over the fucken place. Flight of ideas.
“It’s getting hard to move anymore, you’ve gotta slither like a snake…”
Well put, Mr Schroff.
After listening I think kelly may have been spot on in his assessment of this guy. Wonder what other truths kelly has been spouting that I have written off. Perhaps a Chinese girlfriend would set me straight. But then again is it even ethical to outsource that job. Surely there is some struggling American made girlfriend that needs the work.
well, that was certainly a story about nothing, except possibly the author’s latent homosexuality. boycott china.
Whiff of irony that he exports boards to Asia
Schroff could be the savior of the WSL. They should put him immediately on salary and start a reality show: Schroff’s House. Surfers live in his new hotel for some time. He shapes them boards after extensive video footage and consultation. During which time he hosts and thinks up daily activities and plans them for moments of tension. The culmination is a contest with his boards and he as the only judge. Perhaps points given towards creative outfits – such as sequined hot pants etc. (all genders of course).
I am thinking slightly better than Lawn Patrol.
Best episode ever.
Venice is not Newport… quote writer.
As in, not even close… proximity or relevance.
Peter’s shop was irreverent and fun. The opposite of Hurley, who shaped similar shitty boards very seriously.
All chasing Lance and Greg Pautsch.
Sorry Greg if I spelled your name wrong.
In ’83, a star studded lineup at uppers in gigantic surf was humbled by one man owning the joint. First and last time I ever saw him surf live and an indelible impression.
His name is Mark Price. Ripper of the highest order.
Humbled San Clemente years before ’89 showed up to take credit.
Bon jour. Wind Update Continuing clean conditions at Contis plage (light winds from the ENE at Biscarosse Parentis 24 miles from Contis plage). 5ft 10 s period swell from WNW.
Patrouille de l’aube!
I’d really like him to become a regular, and hear him when he’s loosened up even more.
He’s like the hard antidote to the WSL.
You are right. He comes across as a decent good person in everything I’ve seen on him. Unlike the WSL which comes across as self serving and grabby in everything I’ve seen on them.
Youre him and I’m WSL
Well I did drop a maraschino cherry into my first bourbon and Soda this arvo.
No doubt.
This is more us, conservative moron shooting at unarmed people with an automatic weapon vs liberal leaning skater Tony trying to let gov and big biz and cops know that we should hold people accountable for murder etc. Funnily enough, the skater got shot in the back in this incident and this particular protest was set off by a cop shooting a dude in the back. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
They should tear down more buildings and ruin more lives with arson and mindless violence?
That’s fuked up bro.
It’s not a case of aiming to please
You know your always crying
It’s just your part
In the play for today
More votes for Don.
Believe it.
I don’t give a shit which one of those guys they vote for – the choice is a geriatric wanker vs a geriatric arsehole.
I’m hearing ya bro.
At least we didn’t get that old cunt Bernie sanders cause he’s older than both the other two gits.
I like Bernie, hes a geriatric cool guy.
You’ve changed.
The podcast needed a warning at the start….Schroff was ALL over the place. It was funny how Derek fell silent about 8 minutes into the cast…LOL!!!! Is there video of this?
Forced silence… Schroff couldn’t understand the Australian accent. So had to have Chas take the reins
Struth!!
That’s a shame. If ever there was a guest who could match and reflect Derek’s fetishes, Pete was the man to bounce deep recess of the mind thoughts with.
“it’s like taking a tab of acid without taking a tab of acid”
Loved how Kelly called and apologized, such a tortured soul.
That “sexually confused” comment was beyond the pale.
It’s nice to know he dwells on things.
55 minutes long?
That’s about the same as a high school economics class. Despite the flagrant and obvious deviance, I’ll pass.
I would like to hear some commentary from some of the alt-right guys on this forum though.
You’re more of a Rogan 3 hour Podcast type guy?
Man, I have never listened to a podcast….
Poor attention span I guess
It must be more than that? Do you have such an amazing lifestyle with zero time for such a trivial activity?
Well, obviously not… I’m wasting time on the beachgrit forum after all! Maybe I’ll start pod-casting tomorrow. Any reccomendations?
Yep ! Give The Grit with Scaly the big swerve !
Occ cast, too !
Be prepared to be insufferably bored as mediocre talent gazes deeply at its own navel while scratching its arse wondering what the fuck to say next.
If you stumble on to a good one, let me know !
Cheers, a
Fuck man… so many, really depends on what you’re into.
Comedy, surf, divorce advice. It’s all out there!
Disappointing, I really wanted him to go off harder on mass produced boards. I wanted to hear why they are inferior etc.. I wanted vitriol!
Likewise. He’s actually quite a nice guy was hoping for batshit crazy. None the less I enjoyed.
Oh he’s definitely on another spectrum! Not exactly a linear thinker
Once he gets too much attention, he mellows. It was easy when no one was paying close attention.
Can’t wait to listen to it later.
I’ll listen to it later.
I’m sensing a theme.
You’ll come to your senses later.
This one might hit bizarre performance art level.
He’s to Dirty Water what Chas Smith is to sharks.
Oooo in that case, might be later today!
Alright I’m listening now, maybe it is later now. I enjoyed the shoutout for my fellows and I in Melbourrrrrrn….