Hero Johnny McGee (pictured) holding his three World
Championship Tour surfing trophies.
Medal of Honor: Heroic surfing champion
saves two women from drowning after their “troublesome selfie
session” takes deadly turn!
By Chas Smith
Relax, relax, relax.
To criticize selfie culture is, at his point in
time, hollow and silly. Dumb. The selfie is as ubiquitous now as
brushing one’s teeth. As bidet-ing one’s bottom. There is no
associated shame with snapping a selfie in front of a Black Lives
Matter protest, of snapping a selfie on a golden Buddha, of having
your male pal snap a selfie of you in the shower…
https://www.instagram.com/p/CC_KbT-Fcob/
…of snapping selfies on a jetty whilst hurricane waves lash its
rocks and that is precisely where we lay our scene, near Houston.
For there two girls stood and snapped but something went horribly
wrong and they fell into the ocean and began to drown.
Thankfully, surfing champion Johnny McGee, 67, was in the
water.
Without missing a beat, he paddled over to the girls and had
them hold onto his legs then paddled them all the way to shore.
A hero?
Without doubt.
McGee told the local radio station, “I guess I was meant to be
there because there was nobody else out there. Surfers know through
experience, [if] you go underwater [you should] relax, relax,
relax. Don’t fight it or you’re going to end up using your energy
and your air.”
Fine advice.
It is unknown if McGee later told them girls that they were
“on
glue” before blocking them on social media.
More as the story develops.
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Proven: “Sharks hate people and want to eat
all of us even if people are minding our own business whilst not
surfing!”
By Chas Smith
If the Covid don't get ya....
The most common defense of indefensible
shark-eating-humans behavior is that we are in their world, i.e.
the ocean, and deserve whatever amputation befalls us.
Well, as it turns out sharks, and particularly the man-eating
Great White, is simply a murderous bastard.
Proof?
Tasmania where a 10-foot Great White recently jumped out of the
water, snagged a 10-year-old boy off the back of a boat and….
To be honest I don’t even know. Eat him? Maybe. Sell him on the
black market? Possibly. The evil that lurks within the mind of a
Great White is something only Jeffrey Epstein can comprehend.
Further proof?
A father and his son were recently fishing off Tasmania and a
cursed Great White attempted to sink their boat.
Per the father,”All of a sudden, we just had this mighty thump
on the side of the boat, water flying through the air. In a bit of
shock, I’ve looked up towards the front of the boat and there I can
see a massive big, great white shark has come out of the water and
opened its mouth and latched on to the front of boat where the
anchor is. The shark’s let go, gone under the boat, hit the back of
the boat and then done a massive tail flip right next to the back
of the boat.”
He, smartly, raced back to port before his son was sold on the
black market but come on hippies (not Hippy). Can you not admit
that you are basically Ghislaine Maxwell when defending this
behavior?
These people were not even in the water, for pity’s sake. They
were each floating on boats whilst minding their very own business.
Whilst enjoying the sun and not surfing.
Care to parry, Ghislaine Maxwell?
Let me have it.
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Photo by the greatest to ever do it. Steve
Sherman.
Listen: “Greatest surfer ever Kelly Slater
is so epically, beautifully, poetically tone deaf that he makes our
grandparents seem woke!”
By Chas Smith
Brazil nuts!
I woke up early this morning and thought, “Time
to drive up to San Clemente, sit across a fine coffee table from
David Lee Scales and talk.” Then I thought, “I have talked a lot
this week.” After that I thought, “I am the Ryan Seacrest of
surf.”
A relatively distasteful figure who is, nonetheless,
everywhere.
All the time.
Even though not one person has ever uttered the phrase, “You
know what I need right now? Some Ryan Seacrest.”
In any case, after drinking a French pressed pot of French
roasted coffee, I drove up to San Clemente and sat across a fine
coffee table from David Lee Scales and talked.
The best piece that has ever appeared here, or anywhere for that
matter, and you… all of you brought your absolute A games into the
comments.
I laughed. I laughed until I cried. Then I laughed some more,
fell asleep and drove up to San Clemente, sat across a fine coffee
table from David Lee Scales and talked about Kelly Slater and about
you.
Oh and the WSL being laughably wrong about everything. And how
Ken “Skindog” Collins is the Consciousness of our Community.
And how Surf Ranch is unwatchable and dumb.
Ryan Seacrest 4 Eva!
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The aftermath of a White hit on a JS Air
17.
Australia’s Great White shark crisis:
“Freakishly big” Great White hits surfer near Margaret River; “it
came out of the water and inhaled his board”
By Derek Rielly
Extent of injuries unknown.
A surfer in his twenties has been hit by a
“fifteen-foot” Great White shark at Bunker Bay, an
awesomely pretty crescent of white sand and green water almost at
the tip of Cape
Naturaliste, a little north of Margaret River.
Phil Mummert, twenty-eight, was surfing The Farm, a wave
protected from today’s south-west onshore. He was bitten on the
right thigh,helped
by a longboarder to the beach and stabilised at a nearby house
before being choppered to Bunbury hospital.
A local surfer on the scene said, “the White came out the water
and inhaled the board pretty much. The guy managed to roll out of
the way and then a longboarder got him to the beach.”
Mummert’s girl, Mish Wright, posted an update, with photos,
on Facebook.
“Just want to let everyone know that Phil is doing okay! He was
bitten by a shark at Bunker Bay this afternoon and got a few chunks
taken out of his leg. I honestly don’t know how a person can see a
total stranger getting attacked by a 4m great white shark and swim
towards to save him so we are beyond grateful to everyone that
helped save Phil’s life. So lucky that Phil got away with his life
and limbs and beyond lucky that we live in such a kind and caring
community. So thankful for everyone who carried him to shore and
for the ones that held his leg together for half an hour while
waiting for the ambulance. Thank you from the bottom of our
hearts — thank you, thank you, thank you. We’ve been flown to
the hospital and just waiting for him to get stitched up. Phil’s
doing great and singing [baby] shark do do do do do do.”
Nine years ago, bodyboarder Kyle Burden, twenty-one, was bitten
in half at a nearby beach called Boneyards by a Great White
witnesses say was six metres long or twenty feet.
Kelly Slater hits back at historically
inaccurate troll on Instagram: “I don’t give a sh*t…you’re on glue.
You’re a miserable coward…Accusing me of being a racist? My
girlfriend is Chinese… f*ck off.”
By Derek Rielly
Bait offered, taken, much entertainment.
A few days ago, Kelly Slater, world champ many times,
posted a provocative response on his Instagram account to news that
260 Chinese boats were fishing near the Galapagos Islands,
that volcanic archipelago in the Pacific with the most diverse and
plant species in the world.
One follower of Slater, a kid who’d only ever made one post,
aware perhaps of Slater’s penchant for responding to even minor
player in the IG game, issued a bill of challenge.
“You would be the type of fool to advocate for military violence
and US involvement overseas. The US needs to stop fucking policing
the world. Getting the military involved has never helped anything
it’s always the same people who end up hurting and having to pay
for it.”
A popular, though untrue, historical inaccuracy.
The US was pivotal in saving the West in World War Two, its
involvement in the Great War ended the stalemate there, South Korea
would be Communist if not for the three-year long US-led UN
intervention between 1950 and 1953 and Kuwait would’ve been folded
into Iraqi borders in 1990.
