Proven: “Sharks hate people and want to eat all of us even if people are minding our own business whilst not surfing!”

If the Covid don't get ya....

The most common defense of indefensible shark-eating-humans behavior is that we are in their world, i.e. the ocean, and deserve whatever amputation befalls us.

Well, as it turns out sharks, and particularly the man-eating Great White, is simply a murderous bastard.

Proof?

Tasmania where a 10-foot Great White recently jumped out of the water, snagged a 10-year-old boy off the back of a boat and….

To be honest I don’t even know. Eat him? Maybe. Sell him on the black market? Possibly. The evil that lurks within the mind of a Great White is something only Jeffrey Epstein can comprehend.

Further proof?

A father and his son were recently fishing off Tasmania and a cursed Great White attempted to sink their boat.

Per the father,”All of a sudden, we just had this mighty thump on the side of the boat, water flying through the air. In a bit of shock, I’ve looked up towards the front of the boat and there I can see a massive big, great white shark has come out of the water and opened its mouth and latched on to the front of boat where the anchor is. The shark’s let go, gone under the boat, hit the back of the boat and then done a massive tail flip right next to the back of the boat.”

He, smartly, raced back to port before his son was sold on the black market but come on hippies (not Hippy). Can you not admit that you are basically Ghislaine Maxwell when defending this behavior?

These people were not even in the water, for pity’s sake. They were each floating on boats whilst minding their very own business. Whilst enjoying the sun and not surfing.

Care to parry, Ghislaine Maxwell?

Let me have it.

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Wayne Lunch
Wayne Lunch
6 years ago

As previously explained if the little shit stopped pulling faces and teasing the Great but sensitive White shark, none of this would have happened in the first place. Please…just apply a little bit of intelligence

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
6 years ago

When you pee pee in your wetsuit the shark can smell it and wants to specifically bite your pee pee.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
6 years ago

Fuck, I’ve never even been to the ocean.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

You are exactly the WSL’s target market!!!

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

And how to dress as wannabe professional with hipster leanings in my mid 50s with white teeth and white glasses.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
6 years ago

Did you just make this up, Chas?

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

Not sure you’d be saying that if you surfed Dunno

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

Sharks, the covid, heart disease, cancer, car accidents…fucking Taylor swift music…everything is out to kill us these days

I’m beginning to question this God of love I keep hearing about

Imagine as a dad you bring your kids into this world, and create this beautiful garden for them to grow up in

Oh but if you touch that…you get cancer
If you put your hand on that, you get raped by a paedophile
Eat that and you die of starvation

And yeah did I mention…if you tell your buddies I don’t exist…i send you to hell for all eternity

I guess we should be grateful this God isn’t a cunt

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Fuck this made me lol! Very anti- depressive.

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

Ha! Cheers my friend, you really made my weekend

f u
f u
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Isn’t that George Carlin’s joke?

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago
Reply to  f u

Honestly never heard of George Carlin, but i doubt i am the first to make a similar observation
Just happy to see it recognised as some vague attempt at humour.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

now you all know why my parents spelled my name incorrectly according to Ben Commenter.

and ok, Chas, Ghislaine is an international criminal… talk me through why I find her hot?

can’t talk about this with my wife. just my internal instinct screaming at me. rarely do I listen, but some subjects elicit urgency.

can’t believe I’m asking for beachgrit “therapy”, but my dicks on the table.

#i’msofuckedbutatleasti’mnothasbeenmarcus

i am has been hippy.

don’t know why that feels so comforting. but in reflection, it does. at least I did not edit a monthly brochure even if that included a trip with Ke11y.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Less drinking is the first step

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

It was a rough night BH

Mapski
Mapski
6 years ago

I wish them well.

Mapski
Mapski
6 years ago

Is Ghislaine pronounced Elaine or am I splitting hairs and going down a rabbit hole?

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

is that a clever metaphor?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

Jizz-Lane

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

While sharks are important. I think the identification of Sydney’s secret surf spots is importanter. Well played Derek.

https://www.theguardian.com…

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

I really don’t think importanter is a word

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

Can’t spell hate without ate.

MD11F
MD11F
6 years ago

Boating is considered trespassing by clan C. carcharias.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  MD11F

That right there. That’s Great White Privilege.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
6 years ago

Some people say they are ornery is because they are white but can’t be proud about it anywhere.

Backdoorman
Backdoorman
6 years ago

Mama said its cos they got all em teeth and no toothbrush.


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