Shock: Joe Biden speaks coherently, Donald J. Trump in carefully measured tone, at respective conventions!

A dull new world!

I’ll tell you, I thought I could not be surprised this 2020 running of the presidential hopefuls (USA). On the Democratic side we have “Bad Grandpa” Joe Biden, a political fixture for decades and the choice zero Democrats actually wanted but the one they probably deserved.

Republicans have Donald J. Trump. An obese man with a funny tongue.

Zero nuance in either.

No possible revelation.

Except look at me, positively shocked.

Both parties have now concluded their conventions. Once the high water mark of political theater, Covid has decimated them to the third most interesting Zoom call of any given day.

A bummer except even in the bummer both candidates soared*.

Bad Grandpa spoke coherently enough to force the Trump campaign to swerve away from the “He’s senile!” messaging and try to embrace “He’ll be a tool of the extreme left.”

Trump was so careful, so measured, in his speech last night that National Public Radio gave him very high marks for decorum.

National Public Radio.

Is election 2020 actually going to be… boring? Like straight old-white-men-acting-their-dull-old-age boring?

On one hand, say it ain’t so.

On the other, whoa.


*Crawled like geriatrics.


Joystick: The International Surfing Assoc. joins World Archery, World Squash, as part of Global Esports Federation!

Positioned on the wave of virtual sport!

It’s not often that news this wonderful rolls across BeachGrit‘s Cardiff by the Sea desk so I would encourage you to stop what your doing, maybe find a comfortable seat and a pleasing thing to drink, before continuing. Put yourself in a position to savor.

Now, here we go, the International Surfing Association has joined World Archery, World Taekwondo and the World Squash Federation as part of the Global Esports Federation.

GEF President Chris Chan said, “We welcome the interest and support from the International Federations to join the esports community and work on evolving physical sport experiences in the digital age. There are powerful opportunities to collaborate with our technology partners through the Global Esports Federation’s #worldconnected platform and connect with the world’s youth.”

Esports are, of course, video games.

ISA President Fernando Aguerre excitedly declared esports have “a whole new relevance” in modern times, continuing, “We are optimistic the partnership with the GEF will help position us on the wave of virtual sport, fulfilling the ISA’s mission to drive accessibility and universal participation.”

Video games.

And if President Aguerre can peel even 3% of surfers out of the lineup and put them onto couches he would be hailed a hero and many statues must be built in his honor.

5% and the World Surf League has to be renamed the World Aguerre League.

Video Games.


Anthony Walsh, no money worries if landing goes bad. | Photo: @anthony_walsh_

BeachGrit endorses: Start-up uses loophole to help USA surfers avoid ruinous medical costs!

I live in Australia where you can roll into a hospital, limbless after a Great White attack, and walk out with sparkling new prosthetics, all for free. Rehab and boiled chicken dinners included. Ain’t quite the same in the US.

There’s very little to be gained by diving into the political quagmire that is the American healthcare system.

Where Australia, Canada, the UK, Scandinavia and various European countries exist, reasonably happily, with a quasi-socialised system, the United States splits, electorally, on the concept that good healthcare should be available whatever your means.

Whichever way you swing, the bottom line is this:

Don’t get a board in the head in the US.

Because you gonna be slugged thousands before your health insurance, if you’ve got it, kicks in.

I live in Australia where you can roll into a hospital, limbless after a Great White attack, and walk out with sparkling new prosthetics, all for free.

Rehab and boiled chicken dinners included.

Ain’t quite the same in the US.

But, a start-up called Spot, which sponsors surfer Anthony Walsh and snowboarder Travis Rice, has exposed a loophole in the system and cut a deal with the world’s largest insurance companies to back a twenty-five-dollars-a-month, accident-only insurance policy that will cover the first twenty gees of your visit to a doc.

Each time you get injured. No limits.

Bust a leg. Twenty. Break a nose. Twenty. Guts ripped out by VAL. Twenty.

Y’see, if you strip cancer treatment and other catastrophic long-term illness out of the health insurance policy costs drop dramatically.

Matt Randall, a thirty-six-year-old entrepreneur, was turned onto the idea of by his wife’s pal Maria Miller who worked in the insurance biz.

Randall’s wife said he might wanna jump on Maria’s idea of an affordable injury-only insurance.

“It was massive. I said, ‘Why hasn’t this been done?’” he says.

It’s a no-brainer for Americans, I suggest to Randall. Three hundred bucks a year or thereabouts and you’ll never have to cop for the first twenty gees for injury-related surgery.

“Well, it’s an amazing concept if you live in America; if you live in a place where there’s universal healthcare it’s a terrible concept,” he says.

So far, forty-three of the fifty American states allow Spot to offer coverage, although you’ll be covered 24/7 whatever state, or country, you get busted in.

Randall says the Texas-based company’s biggest challenge is proving to people they’re legit.

“We could’ve charged more but we’re going for the volume play,” he says.

Gotta be a catch, no?


“If immediate failure is death, we don’t cover it,” says Matt. “If you fail at base jumping there’s no option but death. On Everest, if you fail, you can survive. We cover that. Skydiving, you fall, you die. Most people aren’t getting injured skydiving.”

The company doesn’t just cover boards in the head or fins in the guts, either.

“One of our ambassadors, a top skier in the world, a guy called Julian Carr who does two-hundred foot jumps off clips, had never filed a claim. Two weeks ago, he was walking his dog, the leash wrapped around his little finger and broke it. Two thousand bucks. We cover that.”

Travel overseas and you’re covered.

Roll your car off a cliff, come out alive but torn to shreds.


I can’t find holes in this thing, hence the ringing endorsement.

Am I wrong?

(Editor’s note: This is a sponsored post although some readers may find it useful.)

Child superstar Macaulay Culkin needs your help: “I’m thinking of picking up surfing. Do you have any suggestions?”

Well, do you punk?

It’s not often that an über famous celebrity comes asking for your help, even an über famous celebrity whose über fame has withered down to a dull nub, which makes today a red letter one.

And there we are, minding our own business, duct taping underground hoses, or ducts or whatever, filing legal briefs, composing music for the next big cat food commercial when….


Wanted by a star.

Sal Masekela thinks he knows how it feels when he calls up his best friend in the whole wide world Kelly Slater in order to leave a voicemail reminder of the friendship. Ashton Goggans too when he names his French bulldog Bruce after Bruce Irons and then Bruce Irons comes to snuggle it and/or confuses Yago Dora for Gerry Lopez but you?



No, no, no.

We don’t get this kind of access. This sort of proximity.

Until today.

For Home Alone/Michael Jackson’s Macaulay Culkin wants/needs you and even though he was last famous two decades ago he is still amazing and has to know (via Twitter):

“Since I’m 40 I think it’s about time to start my midlife crisis. I’m thinking about picking up surfing. Do you all have any suggestions?”


Do you?

Watch: Brave Coast Guard enforcement specialist opens fire on “widow maker” 8-foot shark as it attempts to eat crew members splashing helplessly in the water!

Very intense.

Unspeakable tragedy almost befell the crew of the Coast Guard national security cutter Kimball, yesterday afternoon, as most the able bodied men took a refreshing swim break in the cool Pacific, replete with an inflatable unicorn.

There they splashed, talked about the gals left behind, about the dirty tricksters likely taking them out on dates when an 8-foot mako or pelagic thresher decided to make a few widows.

While Coastie Bouillabaisse is not considered quite the delicacy of Sailor Stew amongst most species of sharks, it is still very delicious, to them, and worth enjoying.

The shark made a direct line for the group when Maritime Enforcement Specialist 1st Class Cintron saved the day by stealing his nerve and opening fire from his lookout post.

Momentarily confused, the shark pulled away but those tender Coastie thighs, lightly brined, were very much too tempting and so it made another attempt. ME1 Cintron let another burst fly. That’s when the shark turned its attention to crew members who were swimming for the ladder.

Another burst.

After an intense few more minutes, all the Coasties made it back aboard, the only injury occurring from a bonked knee, ironically maybe, in the middle of a shark jaw tattoo.

Very scary but is there something we surfers, we watermen, can learn from the incident? Both the Coast Guard and Navy employ “shark watches” and “polar bear watches” when their fellow men-at-arms are frolicking.

Should we?

Any volunteers for the BeachGrit Defense Force?

We will have very cool uniforms, that I guarantee (shop here).