Unspeakable tragedy almost befell the crew of the Coast Guard national security cutter Kimball, yesterday afternoon, as most the able bodied men took a refreshing swim break in the cool Pacific, replete with an inflatable unicorn.
There they splashed, talked about the gals left behind, about the dirty tricksters likely taking them out on dates when an 8-foot mako or pelagic thresher decided to make a few widows.
While Coastie Bouillabaisse is not considered quite the delicacy of Sailor Stew amongst most species of sharks, it is still very delicious, to them, and worth enjoying.
The shark made a direct line for the group when Maritime Enforcement Specialist 1st Class Cintron saved the day by stealing his nerve and opening fire from his lookout post.
Momentarily confused, the shark pulled away but those tender Coastie thighs, lightly brined, were very much too tempting and so it made another attempt. ME1 Cintron let another burst fly. That’s when the shark turned its attention to crew members who were swimming for the ladder.
After an intense few more minutes, all the Coasties made it back aboard, the only injury occurring from a bonked knee, ironically maybe, in the middle of a shark jaw tattoo.
Very scary but is there something we surfers, we watermen, can learn from the incident? Both the Coast Guard and Navy employ “shark watches” and “polar bear watches” when their fellow men-at-arms are frolicking.
Any volunteers for the BeachGrit Defense Force?
We will have very cool uniforms, that I guarantee (shop here).