No surfer has ever been so cool.
Many years ago when VAL website and perpetrator of after-the-fact wokeness The Inertia pivoted from “surf” to “outdoors” I felt it was a very silly move. What good are the outdoors that don’t directly relate to the surfing and/or snowboarding?
Camping is a hassle, ziplining is whatever, birdwatching is a snooze and hiking… well hiking is just about the worst thing a man can do with his time.
And look at the egg on my face.
Days ago, an 80-year-old hiker pulled a better move than any surfer ever by crashing the press conference set up to mourn his loss and appeal for people to go out and search for his, likely, lifeless body.
Harry Harvey, a very strong name in and of itself, had gone hiking on Sunday in northern England but became separated from his hiking partner when a vicious hailstorm hit. Police and the Royal Air Force spent four days combing the region, coming up empty.
The family scheduled a press conference but, little did they know, a wildlife photographer had found Harvey peacefully camping by his lonesome and drug him back to civilization, surprising all those in attendance.
Many hugs etc.
Harvey described his adventure thusly, “I had three really good wild camping nights where I was on my own and had all the kit I needed. The only thing I was getting a bit short of… I’ve got a hell of an appetite… and when I get hungry I’ve got to get something to eat or I can’t go on.”
When asked if he was happy to turn the mourning into dancing, he responded, “If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have come back. I could do without all of this.”
His daughter-in-law added, “He’s had a blast, we’ve had a nightmare.”
No surfer has either done, or responded, cooler.
I shall now take up hiking.
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he rips at Staithes too.
yesyes.nice take on a good story.
My birthday is le 14 juillet, until I was about 5 I was amazed the country celebrated so enthusiastically, parades, fireworks etc. My parents played along, then school crushed my dream.
Italian Girls …. oh my god !
The 90s …. wonderful years . I arrived in Paris , my flight was delayed for 8 hours . Air France wanted to put me on the TGV to Bordeaux but I threw all caution to the wind , not really , phoned an old girlfriend , jumped on a bus into Paris we had lunch , made love , got the bus back to the airport , got the plane , got to the beach and surfed till dark .
Anyway … when they asked the old man how he did it
« Les Glands se trouvaient sur le sol dans Le forêt..«
So they asked him where did he find the cheese «
« le fromage …. je l’ai trouvé sous le gland «
Yeah Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn did it yeeears ago.
Now those guys were true surfers…
The scene where he convinces the local kids to whitewash the fence he is suppose to paint is gold .
Reminds me of Fred Dibnah, world famous steeplejack. If smokestacks were waves Fred would be our GOAT
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
Dibnah is a ruler.
Donna is a Kebab ?
Have you seen the one where he goes to the steam engine festival? It looks like the best thing on earth
I haven’t, but the early ones where he is made famous, are the documentaries of him running around blowing up up chimney stacks (as a demolition expert) back in the late 70’s / early 80’s.
Yeah it’s from those early ones. His hobby is restoring old steam engines. Then the festival is a bunch of them doing laps of an old meadow in their restorations whilst sinking copious pints. There’s another classic one where he goes on his first holiday ever on the behest of his wife, but he ends up doing a demo job on a chimney while he’s there as exchange for a particular type of steel plating he needs for his engine. His wife hates it.
Alison seems like a bit of ball breaker! I’m only a bit in to your link but I’ve gotta say, it’s gem
Edit* she’s lovely. I retract the above ball breaker remark
A fooken lesson in saying words correctly.
Sick! Tonight’s YouTubeing sorted.
I can’t take anymore bad news and it’s infiltration on the tubeage
He’s like a warm hug, old Fred.
How good is his outlook on life. Love it
That’s epic! The days before oh&s on construction sites.
Is genius song no? Excellent lyrics and a howl on the chorus.
Something similar happened in France near where I lived ….. An old man suffering from Alzheimer’s got lost on a short trip and they found him two weeks later stumbling through the forest . Strangely enough he appeared in good health . Il a vécu grâce aux glands qu’il a trouvé dans Le forêt et du fromage …. ?
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
Single guys hiking is very suspect.
Pretty sure 99% of the men who get lost hiking alone are roaming the woods to hook up with dudes.
So Camp ?
Only makes you gay if kiss him
Isn’t that the truth ! I’ve never had sex with a gay man but I’ve slept with a few blokes who have . Chortling hi ha
I think we both have repeated these jokes here.
Do you know the definition of indecent?
When you’re banging a dude from behind, and your balls are smacking his arse…you are in decent.
You just gave Chas another reason to start hiking
Joe Rogan is suspect #1
Does 50 year old Kelly Slater’s current visit to Bali not rival this?
Is Baldy Bobby Slats there, too ?
He is – sharing clips of himself out at Padang Padang.
I bet he didn’t invite Tiago Pires who kicked his arse there in 2008
I’d love to see the creative writing on some of those visa applications from the surf worlds elite.
-« And can you explain to us why you were in Australia in March ? «
-« yeah dude I was there for the Corona OPEN but it was Closed and then the border was Closed because of Corona , but only going north , It was OPEN going South so you could have a Corona in QLD then cross the border into Corona affected NSW , surf , Have a Corona , comeback across the border and have a Corona because Corona was very different on the other side of the border but you couldn’t because of Corona , have a Corona in NSW , drive north , surf and then comeback south and have a Corona because of Corona. «
-« And then your next stop was ? «
-« Next was the rumble at the ranch «
-« Was in not affected by Corona «
– « No ! No Corona at the Ranch Dude …. We only drunk Michelob Ultra Pure Gold « …….
The fucken Indos would whore their mothers for 2 rupiah.
The best one I’ve heard is the guys with the drinking water buckets. They can get past any pandemic border issue.
It’s all good, his girlfriend is Indonesian.
With his chinese girlfriend and a brother , truly A. S.E.A.N Slater , he got the whole south west side of the Pacific Rim covered ….
Surely Kelly has some Chinese in him.
Very tight with money.
A Golden Child.
Acts as he’s one of the people, yet lives quite differently from most of us plebs very quietly.
Well he doesn’t really act like the Buddha but ….he is certainly starting to look like him .
TBH…in all the years I’ve been reading surf mags and listening to podcast…I’ve never heard a single mention of that little acne scars shit he has going on.
Am I small?
They might go away when he finally leaves adolescence behind ?
I wish I was still 15 tbh…
20 to 35 wasn’t to shabby either
25-27 were my best
He wrote about it in his book Pipe Dreams, about some graffiti he saw which said something like “Slater has zits”, must have affected him quite a bit to make it into the book (which is full of amusing incidents where the GOAT took offense at nothing – Michael Hutchinson – and somehow comes out on top), anyways long story short, it was the impetus to him changing his diet
Oh..I read the book years ago, must not have stood out for me.
Still gets the puss.
Gnarly (or so I assume.. I just skimmed whatever you wrote)! Siiiiiiiiiick…. almost as sick as my last place finish in the 2020 Beach Grit No Limerick Poetry Contest…
Clickbait keeps on the lights,
So Chas can’t help what he writes,
“Sharks in the water and the sky,
Avoid the surf or you will die!”
Beach Grit, a site for talentless hacks
Who cannot write or surf and deserve false cracks
Degenerates, every single one,
Who enjoy the place, so fun!
Ziff sucks, absent any ideas
While Kelly fails at selling chia
Charges of racism will not end
Flicked away with a Chinese girlfriend
Beach Grit, a site for talentless hacks
Who cannot write or surf and deserve false cracks
Degenerates, every single one,
Who enjoy the place, so fun!
Surfing died during the time of Logan
While longtom writes of cashed up bogans
Planning wavepools using taxpayers’ money
Tech whose enviro impact is not sunny
Beach Grit, a site for talentless hacks
Who cannot write or surf and deserve false cracks
Degenerates, every single one,
Who enjoy the place, so fun!
Derek writes in ways hypnotic
Words that are a little too erotic
Creepy Ol’ Kinky Tits,
Describing penises and tightly constricted slits
Beach Grit, a site for talentless hacks
Who cannot write or surf and deserve false cracks
Degenerates, every single one,
Who enjoy the place, so fun!
P.S. Snowboarding sucks, too. Snow is dumb and gross.
Carolus Rex ! ….. take a bow .
Didn’t Tom Sawyer do something similar, and let’s face it – if Tom Sawyer grew up in Coos Bay he’d also have been a surfer!
pretty sure it was Tom Sawyer ,who upon seeing the 13 year old girl across the street, jump up onto the fence and balanced on it in attempt to impress her. definitely a surfer.
Huckleberry was cordially hated and dreaded by all the mothers of the town because he was idle, and lawless, and vulgar, and bad – and because all their children admired him so, and delighted in his forbidden society, and wished they dared to be like him.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Chapter 6
Definitely a surfer from another epoch
Didn’t Mark Twain attempt surfing too
He hung around with a brother. Ahead of his time. Confused them.
Like …… Dolphus Raymond from To Kill a Mockingbird
Who has children with a black woman. Dolphus pretends he is an alcoholic so that the people of Maycomb will have an excuse for his behavior, but in fact he only drinks Coca-Cola out of a paper bag to try to hide it. When Dill and Scout discover that he is not a drunk, they are amazed.
His mind is not for rent.
R.I.P. Neil
Fucken inland raft-fucker.