Mr. Logan... Mr. Logan...
The World Surf League, based in Santa Monica, California, released its much anticipated winner of the women’s cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award last week and was immediately engulfed in an inferno of criticism.
The award went to Brazil’s Maya Gabeira and released a breathless report detailing how the wave also set a new Guinness World Record for “Largest wave surfed (unlimited) – female.”
France’s Justine Dupont immediately pointed out a cornucopia of dubiousness, writing via Instagram:
The @wsl announced that the record for the biggest wave surfed would be awarded to a surfer who does not finish her wave. I decided to smile about it even though I am deeply hurt to be subjected to a decision that I believe is totally unfairI’m especially disappointed and ashamed of this league which claims to represent our sport.
They are based on a report from scientists who use the word “approximate” in front of each of their statements. It is stipulated among other things that:
-The size of the 2 surfer girls is approximately identical: FALSE (at + or – 10cm)
-Our two waves are approximately the same distance from the photographer: FALSE these are 2 different peaks on the biggest beach break in the world.
-They define the bottom of the wave of my competitor about 2m below where the lip of the wave breaks.
-Images of the other surfer were used after the publication deadline.
Most importantly, as noted in the opening salvo, Ms. Gabeira did not complete her ride.
Today, Ms. Dupont doubled down on her frustration by refusing entry into the upcoming French Rendezvous of Surfing, writing again via Instagram:
I have always loved surfing in Anglet. Having still not received a response from @wsl to my questions regarding the many aberrations in their report, I want to remain consistent in my approach and I therefore decline their invitation to participate in #frenchrendezvousofsurfing next week.
I wish a nice day of surfing to all the competitors. In the meantime, I resource myself for a few days in France before tackling winter full. Thank you again to all of you for the support these last days you have been amazing. It’s heartwarming.
Very polite but I’m also confounded by the fact that the World Surf League has not reached out to her. Let’s be honest, there is very little happening, currently, in professional surfing. Ms. Dupont’s confusion about the award is legitimate and deserves, at the very least, personal explanation.
Like, what else is WSL CEO Erik Logan doing aside from getting his side all waxy in Manhattan Beach?
Certainly not fielding calls to sponsor upcoming Bumbles at the Ranch.
And so, Mr. Logan, on behalf of Justine Dupont and French speakers everywhere, I look at you and say:
We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the World Surf League can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. CEO Erik Logan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the World Surf League and surf culture in general, if you seek liberalization, come here to this comment section. Mr. Logan, open this gate. Mr. Logan…Mr. Logan, write Justine Dupont an explanatory letter regarding the cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award.
Do you think it will work?
More as the story develops.
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You are now officially a vulgar stupid prole waste of time. I sentence you to be you
What is “plateau phase?”
Is that more suburban Orange County hipster speak?
And properly brought up, elegant people do not speak of things like “ass rape.”
Shame. Do you plead with child protective services with that mouth?
Malibu is probably intimidating to a simple prole, but it shouldn’t be.
And it depends on the definition of superficial.
If it’s “appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely.“
Then no, Malibu isn’t superficial at all.
People think of the rich and famous and swimming fools and movie stars but the truth is, Malibu is one of the best-preserved small towns in the west.
But where most small towns are dull and unsophisticated, Malibu is neither.
Although they couldn’t keep the movie theater going, and that was kind of a shame, but that’s how small a town it is.
This is one of the most desirable places to live in the world, and they somehow have kept it from being overrun and looking like Laguna Niguel or Santa Monica or the valley or whatever shabby, overpopulated corner of the world you live in.
I have a word for Malibu’s fear of development: “Agouraphobia.”
Within a quarter mile of my house there’s two Nobel Prize winners, three Oscar winners, a couple of very famous rockstars, Ari Gold, two NBA players, the personal injury king of Nashville and numerous anonymous gazillionaires.
Malibu isn’t superficial, it’s classy, and a good kind of classy.
And it has the best weather on the planet, although some people say Southern Sicily is like Malibu.
You just say in Buena Park or whatever little anonymous, overpopulated shithole suburb you’re stuck in, and let the swells enjoy the swells.
Superficial?
Malibu doesn’t pretend to be rich and famous.
Malibu is rich and famous.
These people are the real deal.
Orange County is superficial.
Ostentatious. Showy. Look at me.
Malibu is hidden away.
This is a good place to fit in.
There are some interesting, successful people here.
I just saw Axl Rose at the Oyster Place.
I use my Hot Spot for WiFi.
I like being a hobo.
I could still be living in a million dollar house, with a beautiful wife, in San Clemente.
Boring.
I’m not the first weirdo writer to roll through Malibu.
F Scott Fitzgerald lived here in the 1930s.
Read Beloved Infidel. It’s also a movie with Gary Cooper or someone like that, but they didn’t like their performance.
Sorry, Gregory Peck and Deborah Kerr.
He coined the phrase “Honi Soit Qui Malibu” but there’s no way you’re sophisto enough to understand what that means or get the joke.
Very Old, Negative Redundant.
Washed up?
Did you see Kelly surfing Padang?
You ever surf 1/10th that well in your life – ever – much less at 48, you send an edit, won’t you?
Isn’t that what the kids call a video these days: An edit?
You wish you were that washed up.
Vehemently, Onerously Neutered Retarded.
Right? Then Justine can finally hop on that ski and reset…
Ode to Cocoa Beach or try for 12 with K(e)11)Y JE11Y …. when 11 times is never enough on the slippery pole of pro surfing
What’s patch doing as vice President?
I mean .. .what is there too do at WSL hq?
Get the names on the rashies correctly spelled?
Back at what?
Carrying too much board?
Posing?
I give up.
Has anyone seen the guy actually surf that board?
Would it be to much to expect the CEO of the WSL to not have speccific branding on his surfboard or even surf products.
This speaks to the dangers of the WSL becoming a “Media House”. It’s a compelling story – beautiful woman nearly drowns, comes back a few years later and wins the Guinness world record for biggest wave in the same place she almost died. What media house would turn their noses from that story, even if there was one small problem – that someone else had ridden a bigger wave? The WSL is supposed to be the objective arbitrator for competitions, not a generator for wholesome Oprah content. Credibility is more important in these situations than the story!
It’s possible ,that they have taken the old adage literally ….. ?
NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY …..
Fuck I hate it when seppos try to do Ska!
Normally I’d agree. Less than jake etc. but it’s Sublime so I can’t apply the rule here.
I’m surprised Kelly dosent have a fragrance
Eu de Goat
*eau de bouc
You’re welcome.
This dude just can’t let sh!+’ go!
It’s very popular
I just had one and feel wondrrful
if you want to have an even better Red Bull experience , freeze one , then remove can , insert frozen RB into your bunghole…..a very cooling experience and feels well…do it and tell me?
It’s pretty weak of the wsl to not even respond to Justine. Actually fuck that these cunts are cooked. She should have won or at least have the award shared.
Also “ getting his side all waxy ” is the best low key kook call out ever. Bravo Chas
I’ve seen tens given 2s cause they got bounced by the whitewash after works been done right.?
I have no comment
(I’m not really mr logan)
Is it too soon to call her the french Medina? Or the Medina of big waves? All this crying and stuff…if she hangs out with MBappé, I am confirming the nickname…