Have we got them all wrong?
Students/victims of the World Surf League’s preferred medium Tik Tok have most certainly been made aware of the song that has turned into a meme of a young girl singing about her friends. “Friends, friends, friends I definitely have friends, friends, friends, friendly friends time to meet my friends.”
In all honesty, her “friends” are not what would be considered as “worthwhile” but therein lies the great travesty for who amongst us is so worthy as to disparage others?
No none of us, is the answer, we are all rotten nerds. Vicious and mean. And so it is with great pride and pleasure that I bring you the story of Eric Morea, a Cape Cod fisherman, who made besties with a 10-foot Great White Shark.
The beasts usually get a very bad rap but Mr. Morea brought with him neither fear nor prejudice as he was out two days in a row, galavanting with his new buddy.
The customers on his boat were very excited.
“Most of the time, people say they want to come to Cape Cod … to see the sharks, and I say it’s a very rare occurrence that it happens.” he told the local Fox News affiliate “And it just happened to be that this was the right day for it.”
The Great White put on a docile show for its new friends, presenting its belly to be rubbed etc., for two days in a row, spending much time floating and being a silly goose which very much begs the question: Are Great Whites merely snuggly beasts that don’t know their own strength?
Like Lenny in Of Mice and Men?
Has Kelly Slater read Of Mice and Men?
Much to ponder.
I reckon Mr Slater is more , The Pearl …..
A poor beach side native finds something which he thinks will bring joy , happiness and riches for his family , the pearl of pro surfing , but in the end , the gift may have a bitter taste , possibly cursed ….. and he might have been better off just enjoying the oysters ?
Pillow biters
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Cum on they’re cute!
Shit, thats scary.
Of Mice and Men is the worst Steinbeck that I’ve read… like the subsequent part of this too long comment for you all (worst long KVF comment ever)…
You open your eyes slowly, all slit like, trying to avoid the sun blaring into your room, which faces east. It’s morning and you look like you don’t know exactly where you are or what happened last night. You move your dry ass mouth, making tight clicking sounds with your tongue like you either have a bad taste in your mouth or you’re trying to remember what you ate. It looks like a real struggle, perhaps like those times after you get done licking someone’s butthole, which in the present thinking back you realize just tasted like skin, some weirdly fragranced resonant head of the snare drum human skin, where you keep lapping to produce the good part of the memory, only for the smell to be a little too strong…
Whoa, what’re you doing! You just threw your phone in seeming frustration across the room! Who are you mad at? What happened last night? Did you forget to call someone?
No matter, you seem to be over it, putting on your clothes, including a pair of lululemon shorts and a gray thermal undershirt. You walk into your bathroom to do your daily prep, brushing your teeth, using a little beard oil, and then busting out the Turtle Wax for your dome, all the while subconsciously touching incessantly your own belly, which you’re starting to get embarrassed about. You’ve got a podcast to do, or so you said yesterday you do. Apparently, you are a busy man, with important friends, so you tell everyone at least. Oh, you are leaving…
Oh, look, you kiss your little doggy. So cute, brah. You grab your keys and are heading out, turning the lock on the door you always do before exiting… wait, you forgot your mask! Oh, no, you got it, grabbing it before you completely shut the door and anyone could say anything.
Anyway, you walk out to your 2014 Nissan Versa, the car you could actually afford, not the one you pretend to drive, keys jangling from your hand, as your only grip on them comes from your middle finger through one of the three key rings that are linked together on your chain, the one with your house key, and get in. You are headed to somewhere, you haven’t told anybody exactly where…. Oh, right, some podcast crap. This early? You don’t usually work this early.
Ohhhhh, you’re driving to the beach to get a surf in before work… wait, you forgot your surfboard? No, that’s not right, you must be picking one up somewhere from one of your buds you’re meeting. That’s it, you remember!
You get a call and decide to pull off the road and walk off to talk in private. Anybody watching you would see you seem pretty animated and overly apologetic. You look like you’re breaking up or got caught cheating on someone. No one knows what’s going on but you. You get off the phone and get back in the car, then pull an aggressive U-ey, speeding down the highway back towards home.
Driving recklessly, you keep “Hot Hot Hot!!!” from Mixed Up on repeat the whole way back. You fumble your way into your dingy condo, screaming something about needing trunks and boards. You’re banging around, while muttering “Bali, Bali, Bali,” to yourself repeatedly. You throw as many boards into your car as you can safely get in the lying down passenger seat (three, apparently you think, even though one of them definitely just got cracked on the nose). You scramble into the house to grab your dog, which you place in the back seat free range, no kennel or crate box thing.
You drive to someone’s house, who people probably wouldn’t anticipate or know, and hand her your dog and rush out.
“I’ll pay you back for dog food when I get back from Bali,” you shout out the car window, as the woman rolls her eyes, while you drive away.
You get to the airport and throw all your luggage, including your set of golf clubs that you apparently just leave in your trunk, out for the attendants to help you gather. You ask some Arkansas looking dude to watch your stuff while you park your car, promising him you’ll give him $100 you technically have, but probably shouldn’t pay. You come back and pay the guy.
You go through security, getting tested and asked questions, which you rotely answer, and arrive at your gate. You wait for awhile and then board your plane, getting to your seat in economy, definitely not plus.
You’re so excited to travel. You’re looking forward to seeing your friend, who you say is killing it, btw, who needs your help one would guess? It definitely is not clear what exactly is going on.
You break out your laptop and start composing an email to your friend, Rob Machado ([email protected]), explaining the reason for your trip: to make good on a previous missed opportunity with your friend.
You, Selema Mabena Masekela, are going to golf with Kelly Slater… in Bali, paying for a Visa you can’t really afford. And, no, Kellz isn’t helping with the fees, you know that…
Wait, this is weird that I’m narrating this? Who am I? I’m you, Sally boy, you fucking dumbass. Why go for the point-of-view best used for a choose your own adventure book? You tell me… Did this have anything to do with anything posted? No, not really, just thought of it.
I’ll read it later
Dangle a live GOAT in front of it and see what happens…
Remember the film Grizzly Man?
It’s about the guy that went to Alaska and spent a summer hanging out with a bunch of Grizzlys. He cavorted and frolicked with them for weeks, even going as far as calling them “fun furry party animals”.
Then one day they killed him. And ate him.
Take note Chas.
And his girlfriend.
I bet she tasted better
Dude, they flew home for the season and saw a high pressure situation develop and he wanted to go back for a little while, can’t remember how long, but they got killed they’re trying to poach a couple weeks of Indian Summer.
Ah the Chinese ready in 10 minute takeaway version
Of Rice and Men …..
Which commenter is most likely to eat him?
They won’t be able to sink their teeth in, because him/JP are crawling over each other to find out which books the King reads. Truth is, they’re just pulling Kelly’s chain to get him to shine the light on bgrit. They should keep their pursuits in their wheelhouse. This guy is WAY out of their league.
“The fact that Timothy spent an incredible 35,000 hours, spanning 13 years, living with the bears in Katmai National Park, without any previous mishap, escapes people completely.”
That fact only adds to the irony.
What are you implying about Dave ‘Dave Lee Scales’ Lee Scales?
That dude was fucking odd. He was from Venice (I think). There’s audio of him getting turned in to bear poop.
We’re all friends on this discussion board, right?
No, we’re comrades!
Speaking of how’s Offrocker? Anyone know?
He’s been around relatively recently
The Commentariot!
Commentistas
I like to think so. You guys are all pretty funny.
But Lemmore Goat doesn’t seem to like me. Calls me names and gets all freaky. Might have to call my mommy.
Look out… Incoming!
This just silly post.
As you can see, there is really no bottom for Chas.
Still free falling.
Easy Tom Petty. There’s only room for one Tom, and one Tom’s brother, here buddy.
Don’t be so petty
After you read about fifty of them they start to seem normal.
kelly’s faith healer would read him a chapter before bed every night.
Kelly probably hasn’t read Of Men and Mice. But if he choose to, he could read it faster than you, you and you.
He ate a bag of M n’ M’s once, so he at least read the Cliff Notes.
It’s all just metaphysics.
It was easier to accept kelly for who he is before he claimed he could read
JP Currie and I find this highly doubtful.
Kelly is clearly Curley’s Wife.