"Got anything else to whine about?"

Instagram, as if it needs to be said, is the devil that never sleeps, a wicked goblin that awaits the misspoken word or misstep that will awaken its legion of offence seeking trolls.

Kelly Slater, eleven times a world champion and a man of almost immeasurable wealth, has made a point, in recent times, of going after all those he feels may’ve wronged or misrespresented he.

See,

Kelly Slater hits back at historically inaccurate troll on Instagram: “I don’t give a shit…you’re on glue. You’re a miserable coward…Accusing me of being a racist? My girlfriend is Chinese… Fuck off.”

And,

World surfing champion Kelly Slater opines on noted LA shaper-artist, “Must be great to be in your mid-late 60’s, on drugs, sexually confused and dying for any kind of attention.”

Today, we find Kelly defending his decision to vacay in Bali, a holiday that has already yielded a double-tube ride with Betet Merta and a backside carving 360 at Padang as well as a lovely head-high session at Uluwatu.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CE-iXVBnGaU/

@deathsalt, 924 followers, writes,

@kellyslater how many countries have you travelled to whilst covid is going on?

Kelly replies, Technically one. I was in Australia when it happened then went home and am now on my first trip abroad. Got anything else to whine about?

And, then, the expected, but no less effective, coup de grâce,

Well, let’s see… I was already somewhere by default. Then I went home which everyone was requested to do. Then anyone who can pay for a visa can go to indo. I’ve had 4 tests done in that time all negative. Please tell me about the spread I’ve caused. Keep drinking the kool aid though.

The Kool-Aid reference, for those who missed the Jonestown massacre in 1978, refers to the poisoned Kool-Aid (actually Flavor Aid, a cheaper copy) followers of Jim Jones’ apocalyptic cult willingly, and unwillingly, drank as part of their “revolutionary suicide”.

Nine hundred dead, three hundred of ’em kids, too.

To drink the Kool-Aid means blind obedience.

Which, I think, gives this story its meat, so to speak.

Does Kelly think that COVID worriers, which @deathsalt appears to be, have been hoodwinked by their governments?

A conspiracy etc?

As for getting into Indo, it ain’t no secret.

Cough up the cash and you’re in for two months.

(Read that here.)

Buy a ten-dollar a month subscription to examine noted goofyfooter from various angles…

Pro surfing ain’t what it used to be. Where rivers of gold once flowed, these mighty torrents have slowed to barely a trickle.

And, even with a million followers like van-life goofyfoter Ellie-Jean Coffey, who is twenty-five and living in a caravan of family travellers, the truth is a gal can’t eat likes.

Therefore, it may not be completely surprising that EJ has turned to a paid-subscriber model, offering “uncensored content, private chat and more.”

A bounty of forbidden treats.

Uncensored content includes, “Nipple exposed… completely topless with my legs spread open”, “Wish you were holding my hand while I sip this wine giving you an upskirt view with no panties”, “More upskirt action… no panties and my plump (peach emoji) fully exposed”, “Grabbing my boob with legs spread in lingerie.”

Private chat, I’m guessing, borders on the not-safe-for-work side of things.

Buy a ten-dollar a month subscription to examine EJ from various angles here. 

EJ, you may remember, caused much tabloid sorrow last year when she was the subject of a “lewd ambush” by the author of the best-selling biography of prime minister Bob Hawke. 

A terrible episode.

Enjoy the original interview that gave tabloid readers the vapours here.

Everyone mining tits for clicks, as they say.

According to the complaint, Outerknown “denies approximately 8.1 million Americans who have difficulty seeing access to its online store because the Website is largely incompatible with the screen reader programs.” 

Earlier this year, surfing’s most sustainable company, Outerknown, was sued in federal court over alleged civil rights violations. 

According to the complaint, Outerknown “denies approximately 8.1 million Americans who have difficulty seeing access to its online store because the Website is largely incompatible with the screen reader programs.”

The suit sought to compel Outerknown’s compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act. 

Plaintiffs found Outerknown’s website “largely unusable due to various barriers that deny them full and equal access to [Outerknown’s] online stores.” 

The suit was consolidated with almost twenty other suits arising out of the same issues. Other name defendants included Catch Surf and Taylor Stitch. 

Outerknown and the plaintiffs settled for an unknown amount earlier this year. 

According to its website, “Outerknown is [now] dedicated to continually ensuring that its website is always accessible to individuals with visual impairments and other disabilities.” 

Outerknown is no longer just a “manufacturer and supplier of sustainable products.” 

They’re also “committed to providing equal access to all who attempt to shop . . . through [the] website.”

If you’re blind, give ’em a call, if your hands can’t handle a mouse, everything is accessible via the keyboard.

And so on.

Read here.