Act fast!
Finally. Finally, finally but finally the classic “post-surf biodegradable soap shower, board locker and vending machine that sells masks conundrum right across the street from Malibu’s famed Surfrider Beach” has been solved and just in time for winter.
But it is with great pride that I introduce to you Traveler Surf Club Malibu.
And let us learn via the chic, minimalist/camp vibes website:
Located at iconic 1st Point at Surfrider Beach where perfect righthand point waves peel all day long. The club serves surfers and swimmers, who want a clean, safe and comfortable re-entry point from the waters of the Pacific Ocean back to life on land.
Our mission is to encourage ocean lovers to spend more time doing what they love and to provide a clean, safe space to transition to and from the ocean. As Los Angeles County allows beach access to active recreational users, we are able to provide a space for board storage, a short walking distance to waves and hygienic amenities, so that club members can spend time in the ocean with reduced exposure to crowded public areas.
The Traveler Surf Club in Malibu has a hot outdoor shower stocked with biodegradable soap at all times. Members have 24 hour access to the club and storage lockers with keyless entry.
Club rules require members to practice safe social distancing at all times and the club space has a hygiene station so that members can sanitize any touch surfaces that they come in contact with.
Our club vending machine is stocked with wax, snacks, Masks cold drinks and basic surf essentials so that you do not have to make in-person purchases for small items.
How much?
My only question is can members stand up and sleep in their locker for the surfboard price?
Also, does the vending machine sell Laird SuperFoods Coffee Creamer?
Places in the lineup?
Very exciting.
PA Announcement:
“Could the long haired person , with a very long and heavy blue board , with a white stripe , please come back to the club “
The hipster looks around , stylishly ( well of course ) and then hears “ You are a kook and a danger to the public but most importantly You’ve FORGOTTEN YOUR LEASH IN THE SHOWER AND THE VELCRO IS NOW FULL OF UNWANTED HAIR … COME BACK NOW !
YOU DOPE with no ROPE … “
Can store your gear at my place for a slab.
2.5 hrs to Bells
1 hrs to Mornington
1.5 hrs to Phillip Island
Bargain
I lucked out and have left my boards at various friends house at Cronulla since 84 …. Big Shout out to the Family Gee and Family Pringle ,…..I’ll never be able to repay them , but have tried to pass the goodwill on. My little house in France always had space for travelers and friends’ boards and beds for those to pissed to drive the 11km from the beach to the village .
Was kidding about the slab.
I’m a bit far, but happy to put anybody up.
Plenty of room to stash a board.
Bringing a slab is always a good idea , a positive gesture , and much more refreshing than , a bouquet of flowers or chocolate , after a hard days working , surfing or just plain doin nothin .
Growing up the thanks for someone helping you move etc was always a case. Didn’t cost much, but it was the gesture of thanks.
Pretty sure I remember seeing something about board lockers years ago on Oahu.
Thought it was a good idea if you visit often, takes a lot of stress off lugging them over.
This is Ben Marcus’ hipster dream!
Might sublet one as an air BnB WSL experience package
QS Grinders Penthouse Suite about the size of Harry Potter’s Broom Cupboard at Privet Drive ….
I’m offering specials to BeachGrit members to my exclusive Ocean Beach Gutter Punk Surf Club. For $99 (or the equivalent in quality cocaine) you get use of the public restroom, soap on a rope, masks- not just for covid but to help the stench when one of the permanent parking lot dwellers drops a meth induced steamer in our exclusive open air stainless steel toilets. Need wax? Try our locally sourced wax- a unique blend of Sex Wax, Sticky Bumps, Bubble Gum and sand. Hand pressed from various pieces found on the beach or asphalt. Need a pick me up or post surf relaxer? A plethora various substances can be sourced from anyone who looks seedy or gives you a nod.
Secure board storage available, one of our Gutter Punks will watch your shit until you are out of eyesight and it may or not be there when you return.
This month only, try our special hole de glory for only $69 extra.
In France they call it Le Hole
Non, ce serait un “trou de gloire”.
It’s Malibu after all so just today could we call it Mickey La Chate ?
As long as they don’t call you…. late for dinner .
Or for those in a rush $68 …. but they owe you one
I once read about men with a fetish of leaving a bread roll in a public toilet trough and picking it up at the end of the day and eating it …. just wonder if your doing take away at the Club because you could call this somewhat exotic delicacy the
The Gutter Punk Surf Club Sandwich …. a radical move even today ? The club sandwich that is …
Surf Club Club Sandwiches would be great. 3 layers of toilet sourdough, turkey, ham and bacon with mayo from those little packets that have sat in the sun for a week
You are on the money today Scotty ! We’ll Get Sal(Monella ) to phone Kelly to see what he thinks …. ?
Props for not calling the membership levels “Da Cat” or “Tubesteak” or “Gidget” or the men’s nude jacuzzi/sauna room “The Marcus”. Otherwise the whole thing is super ghey
Will be lots of good vibes flowing in that locker.
God forbid 3 people would want to be in there at once clanging mals together.
Or “The Big Kahuna”!
Is that a one time $90, or $90 a month for 2 boards?
Looks like 25 board lockers.
Going by the 2 boards with a one time $90 x 25..that’s $40,000.
Obviously must be unattended as they would have to sell quite a bit of wax if they want to pay anyone.
I learnt from a very early age the bitter taste of injustice…was a bar of famous Lux beauty soap
1975, the first brush with education…for the uneducated one
A small catholic pre school, run by cruel nuns
I sat opposite a nasty little girl, i cant remember how she wronged me this day, but I am sure it was something significant, so I attempted to gain my revenge.
She looked up at me from the crayon mess she likely called art…and…bang! Poked my tongue out at her.
I could see it stung
Bang…got her again
Bang…the third drew tears
She dobbed on me
The cruel nun near burst my eardrum as she screamed at me. I got the message. Head down I thought it best to focus on my art
Unbeknowst to me until then…i had a habit, when concentrating hard, of playing with my tongue…just rolling it and coiling it…so i was doing this as I drew…no thought at all of the evil girl across from me, or the cruel bitter nun
Dam girl dobbed on me again
I was completely unaware my tongue was protruding my lips
Nun grabbed my arm so hard it near ripped my shoulder from its socket
Dragged me in to the bathroom
Holy fuck…she shoved that bar of soap so far down my throat i am sure I was blowing soap bubbles for a week
I can still taste it to this day
The only good to come of it…my mum got blasted by the nun that afternoon…later she told me that the nun said to her, when she was bringing me my justice…i had called her every vile name she had ever heard, and a whole bunch of new ones she hadn’t until then
She recommended my mum enrol me in the public school the following year
Ours used Ivory.
A wiffle ball bat.
My 1st grade had a diaper with a large safety pin that she put around your head and sat you in the corner.No lie..can still remember my cousin sitting with it on.
Good on you mum ! I am blaming the suppressed sexual violence on the nuns’ vow of celibacy ….. Always a mystery why Jesus’ fanatic fans , priests , brothers , nuns etc just don’t try to act even a little tiny weeny bit like the Prophet himself …. after his enormous leap , from an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth , to Love thy neighbor and above all LOVE THINE ENEMY ?
Its quite likely that most religions would be pretty good, except for humans natural, instinctive tendencies, to behave like cunts
Blessed is the uneducated .
Ben- Any chance of some insider stock tips on a potential IPO? Are there any celebrities involved?
If the club REALLY wants to be hip/woke, they’ll sell prepaid debit cards to Ellie Coffey’s website.
who’s the marketing genius with the vertical video?
The same one that posted the sped up video of the 1 footer mush?