They-die-so-we-may-live: “Half-a-million sharks” to be slaughtered for COVID-19 vaccine!

A lesson in how to manipulate the news cycle, rivalling even the fabulous Coffey sisters.

A shark advocacy group has claimed that the production of a COVID-19 vaccine will result in the death of 500,000 sharks.

Wild number, yeah?

Oceans red with the blood of slaughtered sharks; immense grottoes filled with their discarded corpses etc. 

Shark Allies, a not-for-profit group “dedicated to the protection and conservation of sharks and rays”,  has gotten the required headlines across most news sites over its alarmist numbers. 

How they got it is a lesson in how to manipulate the news cycle. 

(See, also, EJ Coffey, parts one, two, three, four and five. )

See, if the vaccine contains squalene, a fatty molecule that maintains moisture in the skin, and which is found in all plants and animals although shark livers are bloated with the miracle juice, and every single human on the planet gets a piece, a quarter-of-a-mill sharks might get iced. 

If humans need two doses and every single human on the planet gets a second hit, half-a-mill sharks. 

A lot of ifs. 

In May, GlaxoSmithKlinem announced that they intended to produce one billion doses of their “pandemic vaccine adjuvant” in 2021, enough for every American to get three hits. 

Shark Allies says 21,000 shark will be killed for the required squalene. 

For comparison, four billion fish and nine billion chickens are killed every year in the US.

And, in case you didn’t know, squalene is already used in sunscreen, lipstick, foundation, lotion and other cosmetics. 

Sign the petition, “Stop Using Sharks in COVID-19 Vaccine – Use EXISTING Sustainable Options” here. 

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grumpy local

Orcas have known this shit for millennia

Count Duckula

Petition to use Australian Great white sharks for COVID 19 vaccine
https://www.change.org/aus-…

ricmatic

Not being facetious, but why don’t they hunt the sharks that most threaten human life first?
Northern NSW, Nor Cal, So Cal, Reunion, South Africa, Beachgrit’s keyboards etc.

channelbottom

‘Come on Squalene’
I’m sure someone wrote a song about that.

Or was it an OnlyFans account?

James Bickerton

BeXy’s Midnight Slummers …….

ricmatic

He could wear those denim overalls over his birka!

James Bickerton

Blessed are the Peace Makers …the gift of Levi’s for the Levantine ….

Chief Hot stuff

When you’re on Dexys it takes a while to come on Eileen
BOOM tish!!

Ricky Spanish

I imagine Great Whites have a huge liver loaded with that shit. Seems like we have an opportunity to fix 2 problems at once.

James Bickerton

Ja , natürlich Herr Grune ….. EveryVhere I have zees chainz but never have I Velt zo freeee …

Ed

So Kelly Chinese girlfriend is right?

Eating shark fin not only stops cancer but also convid19?

Jordy's pout

How much squalene does a human liver have? Could be a lucrative opportunity for the new hordes of ex-sponsored surfers.

James Bickerton

Channel Islands has just released a new model for summer , for EX Pros ….The Bunny Chopped Liver Chow .
Only using recently dropped pros because pre 2000 pros generally have no liver left .

Gino

Could be why there’s 30 Chinese ships off the coast of the Galapagos.
See…not so funny when we actually need the GOAT to shoot his mouth off.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

I don’t want to say this but his girlfriend will sort it out. She’s a Chinese.

Gino

Surely he speaks the language and can persuade the Chineses himslelf?

James Bickerton

SAVE THE CHICKEN ! ….

FOR ME ! I’ve just come back from a run and am … STARVING .

James Bickerton

Well like carbon footprints we could offset the slaughter of sharks for a Covid Vaccine to save human lives , by using humans , who think sharks’ lives are worth more than human lives , as a human shield / vaccine to save the sharks from biting other humans , thus saving the need to reduce shark numbers ….
As the Euro VALs always say THE OCEAN IS FOR EVERYONE ?

Gino

It’s the little differences in Europe.
Isn’t it called Le Ocean?

James Bickerton

Yes Rob .L’océan , la Plage , Les Vagues , une planche , trois derives
Same old stuff … ocean , beach , waves , board ,3 fins …etc
Just like John Travolta’s character said in Pulp Fiction …
But is also a different way of seeing the world through a different perspective.
There ain’t no Bar called The Hero of Waterloo in Paris and they definitely have a strange love / hate relationship with the USA …. and really dislike the Poms though their respective histories are interlinked , since only the gods or Darwin knows when .

Astrophysicien

The French have an amicable relationship with the yellow snaggle toothed, pasty skinned, obese, drunken, awful food, bad weather, STD riven English.

James Bickerton

And as we all know they boil their meat …. in water …sacrilege ! I read Foucault and when he said “ we define ourselves by what we are not “ the French defining themselves, by not being English , came to mind .

Astrophysicien

What’s long, dark, hard, gloomy, and ends with millions of a**holes? Answer: the Western terminus of the Channel Tunnel.

Gino

Yeah.I’ve been to Le Havre.
I was living in the US at the time.
We took the tunnel over. I grew up left hand drive, right side of the road.
Leaving the UK, I’m right hand drive,left side of the road obviously.
Hour later I’m right hand drive, right side of the road, and the first thing you hit as you may know is a roundabout. Cars pulled off the road everywhere.

Gino

Calais is lovely.
Would you know….for the POMs, is staying in Brittany considered the poor mans French holiday?I got that impression.

pubes

win-win

Snowbored

Well Chas, it appears that you will benefit immensely from this new vaccine!


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