Florida teachers not happy.

It is difficult enough to be a surfer-parent, balancing the needs of young children with favorable swell reports, planned boat trips to the Ments with “da crew” etc. and now, with Covid keeping those young children learning at home, sucking up precious bandwidth typically dedicated to gazing at sunbathers on the beach etc. it is downright impossible.

Well, Floridian surfer-parents have discovered a solution.

Smoking “joints as big as cigars” while their young children finish online math tutorials and also drinking heavily.

Floridian teachers, obvious downers, are not happy.

Edith Pride, who teaches at Boca Raton Elementary School told Fox News:

“We need to make sure parents don’t get on the computer to help their children with joints in their hand and cigarettes in their mouth. Sometimes the joints are as big as cigars. You can’t do that! We’ve seen the parents in towels, we’ve seen them in underclothes, we’ve seen them in bras. It’s just inappropriate. The children can see it in the squares.”

Pride brought up her concerns at the school board meeting and other teachers chimed in with stories of 11 am beer drinking, partying and whatnot.

Surfer-parents have never been known for decorum but what are they to do? What solutions can there be?

Elysa Grossman, a Johns Hopkins University professor, and Susan Sonnenschein, at University Maryland Baltimore Campus, conducted a poll earlier this year and discovered that stressed parents are drinking more during the coronavirus pandemic, to say nothing of stressed surfer-parents.

“We found that parents who are stressed by having to help their children with distance learning during the COVID-19 pandemic drink seven more drinks per month than parents who do not report feeling stressed by distance learning. These stressed parents are also twice as likely to report binge drinking at least once over the prior month than parents who are not stressed, according to our results.”

Again, obvious but what’s the fix?

Where’s the solve?

Should local surfer-parents get together and form a collective where the children learn in one room while adults smoke, drink, wander nude etc. in an adjacent room with no connecting door?

What would The Dude do?

Much to ponder.

Extremely troubling.

As much hullaballoos and ruckuses as major media cause, it’s still the small town, local newspaper where true information resides. Honest facts presented honestly, not fired in the kiln of “left” or “right.” Not glazed with a lead-free layer of bias.

And it was this morning that I read in the Encinitas Advocate that Surfline, a company that invites you to “know before you go,” had been granted unanimous approval by the Encinitas City Council to add four more cameras on public structures.

The deal, which will last three years, allows for three cameras to be affixed to the Marine Safety Center at the very popular with inland residents Moonlight Beach and one on the lifeguard station at iconic Swami’s.

The city will receive $645 a month total, which seems like a sweetheart deal. Like, not at all the going market rate. Like, worthy of investigation.

The City Council, heading off potential criticism, insured their public that “…the camera systems are controlled by the Surfline company, not the subscribers, so viewers can’t redirect them to stare at sunbathers on the beach.”

And this raises very much concern. I am assuming the Encinitas City Council has never met anyone who worked for Surfline. Never gazed into those beady eyes, heard the darkness seeping unfiltered from those mouths. Never felt the cold, clammy handshake or been touched, inappropriately, slightly below the waistline.

Surfline men, including Surfline Man, are never to be trusted. Not trusted to deliver accurate surf forecasts nor trusted to hold to even the lowest standard of decorum.

From this point hence, we must assume that Huntington Beach’s Surfline office is wallpapered with images of Moonlight and Swami’s sunbathers.

Extremely troubling.