World-famous surfer, coffee creamer scion, Laird Hamilton posts cryptic message to worried fans: “I need. Acting civilized on land has its place HOWEVER…”

Troubling.

World-famous surfer, part-time Malibu resident, husband, low body temperature enthusiast and coffee creamer scion Laird Hamilton took to Instagram, hours ago, and posted an entirely cryptic message to his legion of 325,000+ followers.

The photo, which features a Laird Hamilton of indeterminate age (seeing that he has stopped aging decades ago via low body temperature and coffee creamer) carving a yellowed, extremely thin surfboard on a wave’s shoulder, is captioned: “I need.  Acting civilized on land has its place , and I have been doing a lot of that as I’m truly grateful for the opportunities HOWEVER….let’s go! Fueled by @lairdsuperfood”

Many questions.

What does Laird need?

Has he reached, or is he nearing, his breaking point with acting civilized on land?

Does the capitalized HOWEVER effectively cancel his gratefulness?

Where are we going?

Many, many questions.

Worried.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
63 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
John Non John
John Non John
5 years ago

Laird surfs like sh#t. His style is sh#it. He exercises a ton though.

Yomar
Yomar
5 years ago

You can’t deny that cool style of arms by his side, hands low and back – looks like Laird is a template for John John’s style 20 years down the line.

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago
Reply to  Yomar

Bullshit , he is actually doing a shit job of trying to imitate the iconic photo of his step dad Billy Hamilton cutting back at Sunset.

John Non John
John Non John
5 years ago
Reply to  Yomar

Sh#t surf style, muscle douche.

Yomar
Yomar
5 years ago
Reply to  John Non John

jeez bru, why so aggro? it’s still a pretty cool stance even if his stepdad did it even better and JJ does it better today. And Laird has been at the forefront of a whole lot of surfing stuff, many muscles or not he’s going down in history as an amazing surfing pioneer whether you like his style or not and fcentainly won’t be found under “douche”.
Yomar Seppuss

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago
Reply to  Yomar

He will go down as the GKOAT

Yomar
Yomar
5 years ago
Reply to  Capt Sensible

haha – gotta admit GKOAT is a good moniker!

abs(ə)nt
abs(ə)nt
5 years ago

Laird is fuckin’ Homelander from The Boys!!

turts
turts
5 years ago

Yeah, completely lost me there mate.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  turts

He’s one of a kind!!!

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
5 years ago

Ah yeah that’s a tow board. Laird’s just frothing.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Whew.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Looks nonplussed.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

It’s a staunch cuttie.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

It looks like he is trying to do a drop wallet ….. but he is so worried about losing cash , that he put both hands over his pockets, so there is no F@kin way that Wallet is going to fall out ?

Mapski
Mapski
5 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

A balsa made by his pop.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

I am just wondering if Laird , after towing and SUPing , and a Lifetime in the Gym , can still takeoff on a normal board ?

turts
turts
5 years ago

He needs food, which he can acquire after you buy his food. Go and purchase said food before his civilised spirit breaks from hunger and he snaps your neck

Burrito
Burrito
5 years ago

When you’re about to clock out in five but the boss asks you for one more article
When you’re about to clock out in five but the boss asks you for one more article

Lemoore Surfing Club
Lemoore Surfing Club
5 years ago

I need. That SOBE sticker on my board.

Anybody buying LSF stock? IPO’d last week, up 20%

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Ask Ben.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Who’s got money to play with stocks?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

You can use the equity from your Newy palace

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

My joint keeps going up in value..Somehow.. any theories there Bexy? Sydney escapees driving it I’d have to guess?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Prices going up outside all the major cities.
Fear of disease and ability to work at home.
Swings and roundabouts.
System working perfectly

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

Suits me. As long as that shitty Sydney driving don’t come up the F3 with em. Office buildings in the CBD and Parra a ghost town so I hear.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

It’s true
Capitalism = winners and losers
Socialism = 90% losers

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

People who Complain about wealthy corporations make me laugh.
Firstly they probly have shares In these companies by way of Super.
Secondly, they can share in the wealth as much as they like by investing.
It’s the oppurtunities that capitalism offers that cant be beat by any other system.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

Well.. at middle age some relief has slowly tricked down far enough to reach me I guess.
But.. c’mon.. the corpo’s have by proxy or directly sucked creativity and a whole lot of joy out of our generation(s). Maybe they just got too big and one size doesn’t fit all?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

You can still get out there and start something from nuthin if you want to
I know a guy who’s life has been so loose but at the same time has started from scratch and sold 3 businesses for amazing amounts of money, some people are just money making machines

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

You can’t start something from Nuthin ….. Yes if you went to Newington , Scotts, Trinity etc then Sydney Uni , and then you can start in a business , similar to the one your family has run for 3 generations and then claim ….

I started with nothing and did it all by myself …… unless of course that business is illegal or Rugby League ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

He went to Mona Vale High and his family had shit, now he’s wealthy
Anyone can do it.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Mona Vale …. next you are going to tell me he was a poor kid from Mona Vale and the local high school was under funded at the time … On the Peninsula ? Have you ever been to places like Macquarie Fields where even the FireBrigade don’t go without a Police escort ?

Yes I am exaggerating but only to confront your exaggerations . Ps hope you had a good weekend .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Mate there was housing comm everywhere here in the 70s 80s.
Youre lost inside a lefty bubble

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Nothing exists without its opposite .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I’ll be sure to tell him you think he’s a spoilt twat

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I did have good one
Little rollers at longy
By the way I was at Campbelltown the week before, Miles and Miles of color bond roofs and people having a good go, 4wd utes in every second driveway

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

White Rock ? The Reef ( not the music genre … giggles ) . Good to see people having a Go in Tigers Country …. just imagine it used to be Glebe and Leichardt were people were BATTLERS … let’s hope what trickles up , one day rains down …. but with real wages not going up for decades anyone not yet in the game is up against it .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Leichardt is full of champagne socialists now who can’t understand why labor has only served in 6 of the last 25 years.
The battlers now vote liberel.
It’s a fact.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Probably voting for tax cuts for those who earn over 200K a year while they earn 50K per person …. so be it . One can’t deny their right to aspire … go figure

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Only the grossly overprivileged fetishise the virtues of poverty.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Ok Bexxy SHOW ME THE MONEY !

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

It’s out there.
It’s yours if you want it.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

But as my brother in laws Dad … a former ambassador from Pakistan … in Romania , Kenya and finally Australia said to my mum after she had swallowed hook line and sinker the neo liberal rhetoric from Laws and Jones …. . .”. If you don’t spread the money around enough and take care of the needy …. Then you’ll have to build a big wall around your house , perhaps your entire neighborhood ( sounds familiar in the US ) and hire guns , because one day they will come and take it from you … if not today then tomorrow “ ….

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

All the more reason to go get yours
Thers no reason at all for Africa to be poor.
It’s not poor, its corrupt
So go ahead and give your money to the rich and the corrupt of Africa.
Make yourself wealthy so you can help others
Don’t rely on false gods to do it for you.
There are no poor people in Australia there is no poverty.
Everyone gets housed and fed
Thers only lazy people

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

If only corporations paid tax , like you and I pay , there would be possibly , no need for charity … empathy yes , charity no … ? The best reply in less than 25 words will win a set of steak knives ..

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

They pay it with employment.
It’s a way to get the money straight into people’s hands and not squandered by corrupt govts and lazy dolebludgers

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Please, you are trying to tell me that corporations , are now for humane reasons …
creating jobs ….? … ha ha Ha ha HA HA HA ha ha
That is the best joke I heard since a visit to Hillsong in the late 80’s and a bloke got up , from the US ,….while people were a swaying , and speaking in tongues and taking notes , and said
“ I am here today to show you how Jesus can solve your economic problems … “
Ha ha HA HA HA HA ha ha

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

You trade with them everyday,
Hahahaha

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

No man is an island ….
thought you might like this little piece from Mel Brook’s
History of the World Part One . Came out when we finishing our HSCs a long time ago in a galaxy far far away …..
https://youtu.be/MqkT4B-9MGk

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Distributed by
20 th Century Fox Corp

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

There is no avoiding Rupert .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Viewed on an Alphabet Corp
App https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Imagine buying $1000 of Google stock in 05
BOOOMMM!!!!!
Youd be at 1.5 Mill now https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago

If anyone can do it, why haven’t you done it?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

I’ve done it

Yomar
Yomar
5 years ago

bollocks, wealthy corporations are anti-social cunts as corporate citizens.

Tom
Tom
5 years ago

With my sleepy eyes i first read his comment as needs acting lessons – perhaps as hitting the movie circuit in india or somewhere exotic.
Now i realise he is going to go apeshit on land fueled by super muesli – if you are female and its the time of the month stand well clear!!!

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
5 years ago

Pretty sure he’s real life Homelander.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Damn, Laird is one conflicted dude!

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

‘Breakdown Laird’
matters…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

And matter matters because matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration ….
I wonder what Bill Hicks would have to say about Laird ….. we will never know because Bill left way to early and Laird left , way to alive
https://youtu.be/XoacbEcvmYo

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

L is the Q of the surfing world. He will be proven correct, again.


63
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x