Photo: Icon Steve Sherman aka Sherm.
Photo: Icon Steve Sherman aka Sherm.

CNN fingers “most environmentally damaging person on earth” and iconic surf champion Kelly Slater as accounting for more than 50% of total aviation emissions from passenger air travel!


Oh man and oh hell. Just got off the horn (and by horn I mean glitchy Zoom connection) with the one-and-only Derek Rielly and the iconic Sean Doherty, author of many books including the upcoming History of the World Surf League (Dirty Water soon).

It is a fine conversation, maybe best podcast ever, and Sean spoke openly and honestly about very many things including Kelly Slater’s proposed Surf Ranch build on/in an Australian protected wetland where many birds, fish, etc. will die forever while the ocean, that produces the intermittent waves Surf Ranch is set to reproduce, is but a mere 1+ kilometer away.

For those that use the non-metric system, that equals spitting distance.

“Cognitive dissonance” is what Sean called Kelly’s environmentalism and a new report from CNN highlights the dissonance.

Slater perpetually banging the environmental drum. His actions, aside from digging up a wetland basically on the beach to make a fake wave driven by fossil fuels, hmmmmmmmm.

Per CNN Climate:

Frequent fliers representing just 1% of the world’s population accounted for more than half of total aviation emissions from passenger air travel in 2018, a new study says. “In a world that seeks to reduce carbon emissions, we need to look at those emitting the most,” said Stefan Gössling, a professor at Sweden’s Linnaeus University who led the study. “It seems difficult, if not impossible, to achieve the UN climate goals without addressing the super emitters.” Gössling defined “super emitters” as people who fly 34,000 miles per year, once a month or take three long-haul flights a year.⁠

Imagine how many times the world’s greatest surfer has flown around the world for its greatest waves over the course of his life.



A Gavin Newsom “do as I say, not as I do” moment?

I would love a response directly from The King (not Peter) but he has blocked me from social media and certainly doesn’t take my calls.

Probably because I am unnecessarily rude and very jealous of all his jet-setting.

Pointing out hypocrisy is, though, the Sport of Plebs and pretty darn fun.

More as the story develops.

Watch stray rat surf typhoon in Philippines and inspire entire nation: “Rats can cause diseases that make people’s lungs to bleed but we didn’t hurt it because we thought it was especially gifted!”


I feel we, as a group, regularly forget the restorative, spiritually soothing, uniting power of our surfing. We, all caught up with our nihilism and quit-lit, not remembering that wetsuits can be suits of armor. That wave riding unites us all.

And so we, as a group, are expressly thankful, today, to the Filipino sewer rat who taught us we are all one. Oh, not only humans but all living creatures, even ones that cause diseases that make human lungs bleed, and what better lesson can we learn, especially in this Covid-19-era?

But let us not tarry. Let us fly directly to Manila, which I loved as a child because it sounds like “vanilla.”

For it was in Manila, hammered by Typhoon Vamco, with flooded streets etc. that a sewer rat hopped on a piece of wood and began to surf.

Yamzon Santos, there on the street, declared, “He’s a survivor. He looks so cold and he’s shivering but he’s very smart.”

Thinking more about what was being witnessed, Santos continued, “Rats can cause diseases such as leptospirosis but we didn’t hurt it because we thought it was especially gifted. Who am I to do something bad to the rat? That poor little creature only wanted to survive. It made me realised that every living creature wants to be saved in a natural calamity.”

Leptospirosis, again, is a disease that makes human lungs bleed.

But the surfing rat is bigger than that. Bigger than Covid-19 or any such trouble. Surfing is a uniter, a shining path.

God bless the surfing rat.

Also, I put “Shining Path” near the very top of the list of names for revolutionary Marxist groups of all time. Where do you put it?

An Oceanside local's impression of JS' arrival into the US market.

Incandescent Oceanside locals turn heat up on iconic Australia-based JS Surfboards: “They have a scorched earth plan… it’s like freaking locusts descending on us!”

"They are coming in and taking money from everybody, from retailers to board builders and everybody in between."

One week ago, it was reported, here, that the gorgeous new six-thousand square-feet JS Surfboards warehouse in Oceanside, forty miles north of San Diego, had been tagged with the phrase: “you fuk up! fuck ozz. O’side. Get out!!!”

Australian Jason Stevenson, who is one of the world’s great shapers and owner of the epoynmous brand, began his pivot to the US market five months ago when he sponsored Conner Coffin, a Channel Islands rider for sixteen years.

Conner, whose over-easy haircut rivals Strider Wasilewski’s for lesbian chic, is the face of JS’s push into the direct-to-consumer market in the US, a compelling sell to cutback aficionados across America.

JS Surfboards are manufactured in Australia and Thailand and imported into the US, a thorn in the paw of some Oceanside locals and surf-biz owners.

“It’s like freaking locusts descending on us,” one local surf shop owner told The San Diego Reader. “It’s like they have a scorched earth plan as they dump boards on us from out of the country. We make more boards here in Oceanside than any other town in the United States. They are coming in and taking money from everybody, from retailers to board builders and everybody in between.”

Former pro surfer Heath Walker, the prez of JS’s US Operations and a Carlsbad resident for most of the two-thousands, told the Reader that the graffiti “hurts a lot, I’m not going to lie. It really took a chunk out of my armor. But we are here for the long term and I know getting acceptance will not happen overnight… We’re living in a world of shit sandwiches right now. Our objective is to be a positive person in the community. It takes time.”

One local shaper, Gary Linden, who shuttered his own operation after forty years to make way for high-end condos in town, is moving his operation directly across the road from the JS Warehouse.

He says, “Nobody is hurting. I don’t see why anyone should be complaining. Like anything, it is not correct to blame the supplier. It’s like drugs or anything else, you should always look at the consumer. Nobody is forcing anything down anyone’s throat. I sent a message to them and said ‘Let’s collaborate.’”

Still, little will disquiet the disgruntled few.

A t-shirt is circulating with the J.S. Industries’ tractor logo and the tagline, “BUILT FOR GREED…JUST SHIT INDUSTRIES.”

A little unfair, I think.

Whatever their country of provenance, south-east Asia or south-east Queensland, the surfboards cannot be accused of poor design nor inferior quality.

At least from my experience.

Breaking: Hurley beard softer, charcoal peel-off mask for men, hit shelves just in time for the Holiday season!

"...a classically surf bourbon and oak essence."

But what do you get for the man who has everything plus a coarse beard and not so clear skin? The very latest product offering from iconic surf brand Hurley, of course, which has released it’s Hurley for Men line just ahead of the holidays.

Whether he celebrates Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, Solstice or is a humanist who routinely denies the reason for the season, he will be entirely thankful to find Hurley for Men under the menorah, tree, green and black candle set up, bobblehead statue of Bill Maher.

The beard softener, which features a classically surf bourbon and oak essence, promises to soften and condition both beard and scruff.

The charcoal peel-off mask eliminates impurities while, at the same time, refreshing.

And surfing has conquered such fabulous worlds, from Costco’s shelves to Erik Logan’s heart, but is any as fabulous as Hurley for Men?

I think no.

I think, maybe, never in the future too.

Thai policeman in extremely hot water for brandishing 9mm Glock during raid of surfing school: “I have asked them to move and warned them twice before, but they just ignored me!”

A national drama!

As the world goes shutters once more in an attempt to slow the spread of Covid-19, moods are mixed sad and happy. Sad because no more drinking in bars, dining in restaurants, shopping in shoe stores. Happy because the wonderful genre of lock-lit gets a revival.

You certainly recall the previous run of brilliant stories detailing police dragging surfers off South African beaches, Victorian surfers weeping and gnashing their teeth unable to leave their state to go and tube the Superbank, Californian surfers catching heavy tickets for enjoying Asian-fusion cuisine near the sand.

Extremely exciting and today we have the tale of Mr Sanya, who was said to be carrying a 9mm Glock when he and four other officers arrived at the beach, near Kamala, and seized Jirachaya Sitthichoke surfing equipment.

The Phuket News report has the entire country of Thailand up in “arms” with this intoxicating admixture of he said/she said, correct police procedure and Austrian vs. German manufacturing superiority.

Apparently, Ms Jirachaya, who conducted the surfing class on the beach, was taken aback when Mr Sanya rocked up to seize her equipment with his Glock and filed an official complaint that he was in a public place with a un-permitted firearm.

Kamala Chief Police Col Chaiyapreuk Phadiwarakorn confirmed that the formal complaint was filed, saying, “(Mr Sanya) said he had permission to carry the handgun as had previously served as Kathu District Chief. We are not sure yet whether this is correct. We are still looking into the matter.”

Mr Saya said the raid was being carried out because no commercial activities are allowed on that stretch of beach. “I have asked them to move and warned them twice before, but they just ignored me. So yesterday we arrived at the beach and asked them to move again, and asked them to pay a fine of B200 as a warning. They still just ignored me, so we seized their equipment…” adding, “I have the authority to carry my gun as I previously worked with the Kathu District Office. The Kamala OrBorTor chief has also agreed for me to carry my gun while on duty. This is normal. There is no need to be worried, there is no need for any tourists to worry.”

BeachGrit will continue paying close attention to developments here but, in the meantime, do you feel Austria’s Glock or Germany’s SIG Sauer is a better weapon?

Much to ponder.