Cleanse * Hydrate * Deodorize
The pivot to personal care products simply took the remaining bits of what used to be called “the surf industry” too long. It should have been obvious years ago. Should have been clear as the lightly sunburned noses on our faces that grooming is where we could/should/do shine brightest.
Oh, not that we are necessarily “well-groomed” but we also have Julian Wilson, who looks well-groomed, and rides for the iconic brand Hurley.
But of course you were excited when you learned here about Hurley’s exciting new product offerings, a beard softener which features a classically surf bourbon and oak essence and a charcoal peel-off that mask eliminates impurities while, at the same time, refreshing.
Were you also a touch sad though? Like, that’s it? Only two personal care products, the first only for men and the second targeted to men?
Well, dreams come true and I’m honored to be the first to introduce Hurley’s newest offering.
Post-workout wipes.
These asexual moist towelettes are guaranteed to cleanse, hydrate and deodorize after even the most strenuous jog/bench press/squat/box jump and all with that undeniable Hurley fresh essence.
And I don’t know if I can imagine a better stocking stuffer for the gym rat in your life.
A beautiful new day.
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What a bunch of asswipes!! I know a real pro level asswipe when I see one. And I mean that in the best cleansing hydrating and manner possible
Fuck marketing dudes ….. this is surfing
The Hurley Wipeout and Wax Remover
A mixture of Acetone and White Spirits , Foam dusts and wet and dry sand paper …..
I heard JS is importing it from China to flood the market in Oceanside ….. Defend the Hegemony Now ?
Oh Dr Jen you are awful , but I like you .
I have heard it …..
Helps U Remove Lovingly Everything You …. WORKOUT with a single wipe ….. ( no confession or act of contrition necessary )
michael bourez uses these to wipe cum off your moms chest..
Initially thought you said Chas’ rig at BG.
While on topic of cleansing, what ever happened to Chas’ salt lamp? Feel turquoise mid length would look very beautiful next to same.
Bit different post workout down here in Vic in the winter.
I like to squirt soapy water down my 4/3 so I can actually get the fucking thing off with numb fingers.
I try and do it while Captain hardass has his turned and doesn’t get the chance to comment on me being a Yank.
Yeah..but didn’t I catch him putting his wedding ring in the glove box before we paddled out.
I asked..he replied. She makes me take it off just in case.
Who’s the softcock here?
Big baby. Try 5/4/3 hooded here in NorCal !!
Ouch.
To try and save some of my manhood I Googled sea temps in winter.
Seems Victoria and Northern Cal are similar.
I wear a 4/3 with no hood. Looks like you wear a 5/4/3 with a hood?
I agree, I’m soft.
If international flights ever get going again, and I go home to Boston for an Xmas visit and possibly surf New England again, I will be sure to buy a 5/4/3.
It gets gets kinda cold there .
jjf snuck out by a chins whisker. looking like a bit of a genius now.
I would totally start smoking again if
Stubbies came out with their own brand of aptly named cancer sticks.
feel like this article could have worked with the Coffey/Gracie article. I dont know what a workout wipe is but im sure those chicks could sell them (used or new)
Everyday we stray further from Bob’s light
It was just clothing, what’s the difference. I never bought any Hurley stuff before, but now that I can wipe my ass with it…
Pro tip: Put the beard softener on a work out wipe to easily remove cat piss from carpeting. Unfortunately, your rug will now smell like Dan Bilzerian instead.
At least you can use these to wipe your date when yer out camping. I have a way bigger problem with beard treatments, and beards in general. I hate anyone that paddles out with any more than like a weeks growth on their face. Fuck beards and the cunts who wear them.
you don’t wear a beard, the beard wears you.
Dirtybird’s been giving out free wet wipes for years, mate
wait… STAB already has their bearded boy ready and willing to insert himself into Hurley beard-care products advertorials…
As if 2020 could not get any worse, but yet it did. Hurley wipes could be the very metaphor for 2020. Something that was good, has degraded to the point where it is simply a taint deodorizer.
I might be too young to remember. Was there ever a time when Hurley was good?
The most disturbing moment of 2020, somebody thinks Hurley was good.
I guess is was trying to be kind out of our respect for Bob H. Now that I think more about it, the only Hurley products I own are t-shirts bought for me by well meaning family members who must have thought “he is a surfer, this shirt would be good”.
Is Hurley the Joe (back to brunch) Biden of surf brands? So many beige, but also vaguely off putting vibes here.
*edit* Hurley make a good pair of boardies
One could imagine a centrist Wall Street neoliberal-policy VAL hitting brunch after a WaveStorm session, and cleaning up nicely with a Hurley wipe before sitting down at the table to plan a late day tee-time on his i-Phone 25 XL before forking and knifing into a piece of Avocado Multi-Grain gluten free toast…
That’s the off putting vibes summed up nicely. With grace one might say!
Hey Dry Boy …. want to look ….WET ?
Wipe your Butthole Surfer Kuntz
https://youtu.be/5IKbmQ4Cs08
Fuck you 2020.