Sydney’s “Surfing Nirvana” lodge and wave pool backed by Joel Parkinson, Stephanie Gilmore, gets green light!

Paradise found!

And the hits just keep on playing. 2020, a bummer year for most, is almost out the door and a spate of anti-depressive news is heralding its impending departure. We have Hurley making the products of our dreams, Channel Islands employees re-purchasing the iconic brand and now a new lodge and wave pool getting the green light for construction in Sydney.

Wow.

Officially set to open in 2022, The Retreat at Wisemans will free the New South Welsh from having to travel to Melbourne for their surf-on-demand kicks. The $75 million project will have a large wave pool, 54-room hotel, restaurant, bar, conference facilities, nine-hole golf course and is backed by surf royalty including Joel Parkinson, Stephanie Gilmore, Josh Kerr, Olympic coach Bede Durbidge, Jack Freestone and Alana Blanchard.

Digital marketer John Du Vernet, one of the three principals in the project, came up with the idea for the resort while in his garden a few years ago and told Financial Review, “I was jealous of my friends who could play golf and go cycling all the time, while the surf is only good a few days every year, and everyone knows when that is because of [surfing] apps. A good surf and wave can live with you for months and years, but it’s hard to get that experience.”

Very nice.

The most exciting part is that the pool will feature Waveloch technology, the most promising of all and if you don’t believe me you must re-listen to its inventor, Tom Lochtefeld, discuss. The fact that Tom looks like Doc Brown from Back to the Future only cementing his genius and superiority.

Architect Kelvin Ho is in charge of the hotel build which will feature a “relaxed design that will be a nostalgic nod to Australian surfing culture.”

Pictures of Occy, maybe.

And Mick Lowe.

Those who aren’t staying in the hotel must buy memberships in order to use the facilities and I am very tempted to purchase one even though I live all the way across the Pacific in sunny Southern California because Sydney has it all. An opera house and now a Surfloch.

Extremely exciting.

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Steve McPeev
Steve McPeev
5 years ago

As long as that misogynistic bullying kook Ol WSL’s Andrew Stark is banned for life I’m there.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago

That place would still be worth north of a mill if it’s anywhere near Sydney.. true facts.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

The Team Rusty (or Rustic ) House….. Avoca Jesus might look at home their with an axe and a plough…. ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Istanbul was Constantinople

Now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople

Been a long time gone, Constantinople

Now it’s Turkish delight on a moonlit night……

https://youtu.be/xo0X77OBJUg

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I’m more the Cleaver Green type
Minus the wig

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

A tale of two ferries / fairies

https://youtu.be/KZLGMCFMi5E

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
5 years ago

Thanks cobber. Those winters, they’re worth the work.

Hippy
Hippy
5 years ago

Falco?

you’ve gone full camp Gorilla…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Like a Gorilla in the Mist …..

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

If you don’t agree it’s a conspiracy.
That’s some serious mind washing, fuck. they’re Gettin good at it.
Half the cunts here now believe in big pharma all of a sudden.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I once took an Aspirin .

DavidC
DavidC
5 years ago

Jesus, it’s such a nice part of the world – but not for long! I wonder what the locals think about this?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  DavidC

Always looked like so wild after finally breaking the strains of Hornsby , staring out of the back of the car , the sandstone cuts and Eucalyptus to the horizon, dreaming of all the waves my 10 year old self was going to stuff up further up the coast ……. probably a surf at Umina is the closest I have come to setting foot there since stopping for something to eat at Peats Ridge in 74

DavidC
DavidC
5 years ago

Umina (Box Head) ain’t to shabby for us goofies – can be amazing!

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
5 years ago

Its amazing how a dozen lines of quality coke can make any spreadsheet look achievable.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Capt Sensible

Drawing interesting lines …..

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

https://youtu.be/NcS0d55FK18

Not the best version

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

I’ll never woke up

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

Bex, you buying a membership? I think the angry locals should get discounts.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Allready got a wave and a pool in the front yard, wave quality not guaranteed.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I once surfed your wave pool in the Jim Sasse Memorial , Herro was about 14 at the time and already phenomenal ….. I can D Why U like it .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I had a Dream ….. It was more of Ferry Tale ….. That Bex , entering the Labyrinth as The Manly Ferry , was transformed by his earth journey , and in a renaissance moment crossed over and became the Wisemans Ferry ….?
Sir Brian Ferry was heard to utter “ this is tomorrow calling “ as Bex passed Avalon .

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

His cup punneth over.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I did a job on the old military base at middle head overlooking the heads and definitely watched some huge swells and what looked like a huge slab on the southern head .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

Blowjob or Head job?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Give me head baby !
https://youtu.be/VJg_FLGO65Y

Uneducated
Uneducated
5 years ago

You think bexy judges by the colour of their skin…or the content of their character?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Possibly the content of their wallet ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

The fuckability

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Sounds like the original , 3.8 billion year old algorithm , to replicate DNA , just kicked in .

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
5 years ago

How devoid of marketable skills are ex surf pros for them to have to endorse this shit?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

Think how fit they must be. They’d be great at pushing lawnmowers or humping piles of bricks up a ladder for the tradies. Probably terrible at making even instant coffee though.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Just imagine the Post Smoko Interview …..
“ All the boys are cutting grass and humping bricks so hard …. I am just so happy to be here , on site, living the dream ….. “

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
5 years ago

A “relaxed design that will be a nostalgic nod to Australian surfing culture” for the hotel might be a bunch of Sandman panel wagons grouped around the pond, and some tents…

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Perhaps a fibreglass model of a huge pile of slaughtered Aborigines, placed juuuust out of sight round the back.
You know, to be historically accurate to the deeper culture that went into securing those beaches.

Craven Morehead
Craven Morehead
5 years ago

Too bad Americans won’t be able to to travel to Oz till who knows when?! They probably gonna make you take the experimental Covid Vaccine to enter too. No thanks

Laird's performance mushroom
Laird's performance mushroom
5 years ago

Not a bad idea. A country could require full vaccinations before entering. Help keep the idiots out.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

How about we set up vaccination free zones? What? You mean we have already have them in Byron Bay and Noosa?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Didn’t stop the Schoolies from acting like …..um Schoolies ….at Noosa ? . I read the article about local nippers ,denied their Sunday Morning Romp, by a wave of mutilation , broken bottles and general detritus after the Night of the Teenage Riot

https://youtu.be/tPytYrYqDbA

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Teacups and storms. It’s just as bad after a normal weekend when the damned southerners are up here. Don’t really know to be honest. Don’t get too close this time of the year.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

I heard its going surrounded by 5g network towers, best to steer clear. unless of course beach grit gets their limited edition tinfoil hats patent cleared, then you are good to go.

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

Too bad!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

If it’s not being built on a sensitive wetland/floodplain within earshot of the waves on a good day, is it really a wavepool?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

There is an interesting Novel “ The Secret River “ by Kate Grenville concerning colonization along the Hawkesbury and the Massacre that unfolded . This one is possibly being built on the bones of the fallen ?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Brain is trying desperately to recall the name of an Australian author/novel based on a glasshouse floating down a Hawkesbury like river. Thought it was Peter Carey, but can’t find the book I’m looking for in his ouevre. Anyway, insert some lame attempted pun/tenuous link to it here.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
5 years ago

Oscar and Lucinda.

This is also a flood plain btw. Completely untenable. Should be good!

samwaters
samwaters
5 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Well, it might cut down on their water bill as the pool will get filled for free from time to time.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Oscar ( wrong ) and Lucinda ….. and the glass church ….
I really love Peter Carey’s Bliss ….. so fucking funny and have felt let down since … the movie is good too

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

I thought that was it, but the synopsis I read didn’t mention it, so I moved on. I guess they didn’t throw any stones.

Z Knows
Z Knows
5 years ago

Whatever Steph says – that is the correct answer

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

And the dystopic future gets that much closer. Haves vs have-nots, climate bush fires, Marmite shortages–things looking rough for Oz. LongTom and his goats, dodging sharks, is the likely future for us in the proletariat.

Astrophysicien
Astrophysicien
5 years ago

Not sure a Marmite shortage indicates dystopia.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
Reply to  Astrophysicien

Those are fighting words for some on this site!

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

just quietly choke, its Vegemite. but don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Exactly. Fucking Yanks thinking they know Oz culture. Next thing you know they’ll be opining on Midmight Oil’s new album. Which is really fucking good btw.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Did you mean to say “Midmight Oil”?
Damn funny

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Thunbs and phones.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

Ha! I hear ya brotha. I often surmise that autocorrect isn’t trying to insult me so much as it’s earnestly injecting humor where it feels I have fallen short trying to be funny.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago
Reply to  Astrophysicien

I thought Marmite was a strictly NZ phenomenon

astro
astro
5 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

There’s three of em.
Marmite, Vegemite and Promite.
Marmite’s basically shit and only good for throwing in a stew when you’re out of beef cubes.
Vegemites ok if you’re stuck and out of Promite. Promites slightly sweeter and somewhat palatable.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

People would always offer me vegemite after I had been away for twenty years ….. thinking I must miss that shit when all I wanted was a schooner of Tooheys Old .

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

My Grandad was a Tooheys Old fan. Never got a taste for it when he offered it. Until one fateful day when a mate ordered me on one winters day at the Yamba Pacific Hotel. Sitting out on the verandah over-looking the ocean.

Funnily enough, I could get cartons of the stuff in the UAE, for cheaper than I ever did back home.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

When I was 15 I thought if I asked for a Tooheys old they wouldn’t ask for ID and it stuck .

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

It was a real ‘bowls club beer’.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

I suppose I was just trying to appear older ……but not that old , that my club would be sponsored by funeral homes and aged care facilities .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
5 years ago

Just saw on the ABC website a holiday property at Noosa booked out at $100,000 a week ….Without being a Tight Arse …. this was my budget for 10 years of endless summer in the mid 90s mid 00s spending 6 months in France and 6 months in OZ ….flights included

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

For $20G a week, I’ll show anyone a good time Wiggolly’s Paddling Style style. The price tag on rentals has gone nuts around here. I heard 70 families registered to be considered for a farmhouse out in the sticks near Yandina, (about 20km inland). Finding a place near the beach is a dream. To the point where a local real estate agent quit their license to practice under a ‘name’ brand and opened up a specialist holiday rental office.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

Vegemites the best fuck the rest cunt

Astrophysicien
Astrophysicien
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

Good to know, I can avoid the trio.

longtom
longtom
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

good summary Astro.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Fuk that
Vegemite rules!!

longtom
longtom
5 years ago

I heard Biden likes it on toast.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  longtom

I dont think he can remember what he likes

Laird's performance mushroom
Laird's performance mushroom
5 years ago

if I can’t have it you can’t have it either

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

As long as promite is readily available things should be ok

Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
5 years ago

Lol Marmite is a kiwi brand. HOWEVER – owned by Sanitarium – Naughty Mormons who dodge tax on account of Naughty Mormon tings.

I spread VEGEMITE on my toast


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