"We've got heavy concentrations of sea lions and a lot of sharks live in the waters around…"

A twenty-nine-year-old man is lucky to be alive after getting hit a Great White while surfing at D’Estrees Bay at Kangaroo Island, seventy miles south-west of Adelaide in South Australia. 

He suffered “serious lacerations” to his back and thigh.

The man, who was surfing a protected reef called Sewers, named so in the nineteen-sixties because locals said the barrel “spits you out like a piece of shit”, paddled to the beach and was driven to Kangaroo’s biggest town, Kingscote, where he was met by paramedics. 

First, the local hospital, then a chopper to Adelaide for treatment.

The attack didn’t surprise Kangaroo Island’s Mayor, Michael Pengilly. 

“It’s a very popular spot down where these people are surfing down at what’s called the sewer,” he told the national broadcaster. “There’s a lot of surf spots right around the island and of course we’ve got heavy concentrations of sea lions and a lot of sharks live in the waters around, particularly the south coast of Kangaroo Island. It’s not surprising, you’re going into their territory so you have to expect anything, quite frankly.”

The last attack on Kangaroo Island was in 2005 when twenty-six-year-old surfer Josh Berris survived a hit by putting his hand into the shark’s mouth to push it away. 

Last month, a Great White was photographed swimming under the Kingscote jetty. 

It’s the, dunno, sixth?, attack by a Great White on a surfer in Australia this year? 

Lemme count. 

The hit-and-run by a “freakishly big” White at Bunker Bay on a surfer near Margaret River,  the killing of teenage surfer Mani Hart-Deville at Wooli, north of Coffs Harbour, the death of Rob Pedretti at Casuarina, just south of the Gold Coast, Nick Slater, killed at the Superbank and well-known Esperance local Andrew Sharpe taken “almost whole” by a Great White at Kelpies, the same beach teenager surfer Laticia Brouwers was killed by a White in 2017 and where Sean Pollard, 23, had an arm and another hand bitten off by a Great White in 2014.

One week ago, surfers in Esperance were run out of the water by a Great White. 

And, a few days ago, a father and his kid were eyeballed by a “giant” Great White while surfing near Port Campbell in Victoria. 

“This is devastating.”

A fiendishly clever Queensland man has pushed the buttons of vulnerable social media users with photographs of dozens of sharks apparently dumped on the beach at South Stradbroke Island, the sight of the WSL’s Boost Mobile Pro Gold Coast.

“Flake anyone?” writes Blair Parker.

“Oooh man, that’s sad,” writes one.

“Yummmmm,” he responds.

“Parker, what are you doing to me. (Sad face emoji.) You’re killing me here.”

“Yummmmm… I know you like flake chips,” writes Parker.

“This is devastating.”

“Fish is good for your diet xx,” writes cheeky Parker.

Later, he brings in a little perspective.

“This is a great example of locally caught produce A family business catching local food to feed families like mine and yours. There are very few licenses available for net fishermen. They catch sustainable species… I eat fish… I’ve also worked on long line boats twenty years ago. In those days, they took the fins to send to the Chinese and threw the rest overboard. These sharks are prime examples of perfect eating variety.”

The Department of Fisheries, meanwhile, is sending a team to South Straddie to determine if any offences have been committed.

“Queensland Boating and Fisheries Patrol will investigate whether the reports of dead sharks on the beach are current and whether their presence is due to discarded bycatch,” a spokesperson said. “Local fishers should sort their catch further offshore and release any bycatch alive wherever possible.”

Yesterday, social media users were made very sad when the blood-spattered corpse of a juvie Great White was found dumped at Point Lowly, a popular swimming and diving spot in South Australia’s upper Spencer Gulf, around four hundred clicks north-west of Adelaide.

And it isn't the first time a Great White has been mysteriously iced.

A juvenile great white, eight feet or so, has been found washed ashore at Point Lowly, a popular swimming and diving spot in South Australia’s upper Spencer Gulf, around four hundred clicks north-west of Adelaide.

Great Whites aren’t exactly rare in South Australia, click here if you want to examine how often you’ll see ‘em out there, and around Point Lowly, occasionally they’ll swim in a couple of metres of water just off the beach.

“I was there fishing off the rocks October-November. Seen a big White hanging around the rocks a few times. Maybe it was him,” said one commenter in response to the story of the dead juvie White on Adelaide News.

But, while it might be common to see Great Whites, what’s rare is to find one dead, likely slaughtered.

Speculation is rife on social media that a couple of local fishermen hooked the fish with rod and line, tail-roped it and dragged it to shore, leaving it to die.

Photos were shared, quickly deleted.

Fisheries Officers from the Department of Primary Industries and Regions scooped up the animal and took it away for forensic examination.

“With the assistance of locals, the shark was located and retrieved… as part of an investigation into the circumstances surrounding the possible cause of death,” a spokesperson said.

Whites are a protected species in Australia, have been since 1999, and if you kill ‘em and get caught you’ll be hit with a ten-gee fine.

It isn’t the first time Whites have been mysteriously iced.

Last year, in two separate incidents, two Great Whites were found “wedged under the reef between South side and Rifle Butt beach” in Margaret River; one shark, according to locals, with a rope still tied to its tail suggesting it had been “dragged and drowned.”