Florida beach smashes entire California coast in prestigious ranking causing much hand-wringing in Golden State: “Florida? Seriously? But Kim Kardashian doesn’t even live there!”

Kelly Slater wins again.

TripAdvisor released its hotly anticipated “best beaches in the world” rankings, overnight, causing eruptions of joy in Australia, Florida and deep, profound soul-searching in California.

According to the top-secret algorithm that measures “best” as it relates to “beach,” Whitehaven Beach there in Queensland is number one with Cuba’s Cayo Santa Maria nipping at its sandy heels. Brazil, Turks/Caicos follow with the fifth best beach in the world falling to St. Pete there in Florida.

California has zero beaches in the top twenty-five, being beat out by Tanzania and England amongst others.

Not one.

California thinkers have fallen into a deep state of snark in order to deal with the shame.

Per San Diego’s local NBC affiliate:

Who among us, daydreaming of an idyllic day on the strand, hasn’t thought of their favorite sandy spot by the shore in … England? Is it possible the folks at TripAdvisor spent too much time quarantining this year? Or maybe they’ve been out in the sun too long? Somehow, the Massachusetts-based travel “experts” decided that Bournemouth Beach — in Dorset, England! — deserves a spot on the 2121 list of Top Beaches in the world. For God’s sake, there’s even one from Florida — Saint Pete Beach — in the World Top 25!

Zero beaches.

No Capitola, no La Jolla, no Surf City, USA.

World Surf League CEO Erik Logan is certainly wringing his hands, thinking he made a poor decision in leaving Oklahoma for Manhattan Beach, also not ranked, instead of St. Pete.

Extremely troubled and sad.

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claudia gonzalez
claudia gonzalez
5 years ago

Do people around america really think californians give a sh*t, honestly. What is it with this f californians. Who cares about this popularity stuff. California is more hollywood sorry.

Stacey Maines
Stacey Maines
5 years ago

California is fast becoming a 3rd world country….of course our beaches are going down right along with the rest of the state. This doesn’t surprise me at all.

Jordy's low key claim
Jordy's low key claim
5 years ago

Bloubergstrand, Cape Town… Muthafuggas

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago

Is that you Chas?

(no puns about the esteemed Mrs Smith)

ZZ Soft Top
ZZ Soft Top
5 years ago

I think California is looking good for Trip Advisor’s Worst Beaches List with Venice, Dockweiler, and El Porto snagging three of the top spots.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

The next big thing!
WWTL coming up!

https://www.theguardian.com…

OffRocker
OffRocker
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Griff has some extra experience to bring to that league…

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

Ranking beaches is about as useful as ranking WSL employees’ competence

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Bournemouth is also famous for the Tory conferences where the undead & entitled gather to decide how best to fuck-over the poors for the next few years.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I’m always interested in the psychology of downvotes … upvoting is easy, it’s often not even a conscious act … but downvoting, you gotta hate that shit.

What’s to hate here I wonder?

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

‘Hot Stuff ‘ is clearly an entitled / undead Tory.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Ahhh, sound s like someone else who used to frequent here … until he used up all his reward points

Michael Cupcow
Michael Cupcow
5 years ago

Sicilia

Joe Deal
Joe Deal
5 years ago

I bodysurfed St Pete in the early days, no boogie woogies invented and no paipo type wood available in the whole state lol

Anyway, the place is so shallow for so far out if you drop a wave machine on the end of the pier it actually will be paradise there, serious lol

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago

I give TripAdviser 1/5 for that list. And that’s the first mention of Kelly Slater around here in weeks. 1/5 for you too Chas.

astro
astro
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I have every confidence that ol Bobby will pull some shit-headed act within the next month to keep himself in the news.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Just you wait!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

5/5!

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
5 years ago

No Blacks Beach? Who doesn’t love seeing a few 60yr old nutsacks when beach going.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
5 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

This is BeachGrit. Cunts see their own 60 year old nutsack every surf.


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