Kelly Slater wins again.
TripAdvisor released its hotly anticipated “best beaches in the world” rankings, overnight, causing eruptions of joy in Australia, Florida and deep, profound soul-searching in California.
According to the top-secret algorithm that measures “best” as it relates to “beach,” Whitehaven Beach there in Queensland is number one with Cuba’s Cayo Santa Maria nipping at its sandy heels. Brazil, Turks/Caicos follow with the fifth best beach in the world falling to St. Pete there in Florida.
California has zero beaches in the top twenty-five, being beat out by Tanzania and England amongst others.
California thinkers have fallen into a deep state of snark in order to deal with the shame.
Per San Diego’s local NBC affiliate:
Who among us, daydreaming of an idyllic day on the strand, hasn’t thought of their favorite sandy spot by the shore in … England? Is it possible the folks at TripAdvisor spent too much time quarantining this year? Or maybe they’ve been out in the sun too long? Somehow, the Massachusetts-based travel “experts” decided that Bournemouth Beach — in Dorset, England! — deserves a spot on the 2121 list of Top Beaches in the world. For God’s sake, there’s even one from Florida — Saint Pete Beach — in the World Top 25!
No Capitola, no La Jolla, no Surf City, USA.
World Surf League CEO Erik Logan is certainly wringing his hands, thinking he made a poor decision in leaving Oklahoma for Manhattan Beach, also not ranked, instead of St. Pete.
Extremely troubled and sad.