In astonishing move, the International
Surfing Assoc. unveils controversial new logo ahead of Olympic
qualifiers: “Offensive! It is visually offensive and represents
toxic masculinity!”
By Chas Smith
Must see to believe.
The International Surfing Association,
headquartered in La Jolla, California, is not typically known for
extreme pivots, jaw-dropping announcements, but that all changed
last night when it shocked the world with the revelation of a brand
new logo.
The controversial new design was was immediately pounced upon by
the global press with some calling it “brash” and others
“foolhardy.”
ISA President Fernando Aguerre was forced to address the growing
frenzy, issuing a carefully prepared statement.
“Surfing has come a long way in my journey with the ISA, and
with all change taking place in the world, we felt this was an
opportune time to update our image and identity. We need to
represent the current – and future – state of the sport as we
expose fans from all around the world to surfing, many for the
first time, at the Olympic Games. We have embraced surfing’s ethos
of simplicity and youth, which is effective across the array of
digital mediums whether a smartphone, tablet, or desktop screen.
Paying homage to our original logo, which withstood the test of
time for more than two decades, we maintained the same hue of blue
that draws a strong connection with the ocean and nature.”
It did little to quell the cacophony.
A video was then released, attempting to further explain the
artistic choices.
It only added gasoline to the fire.
“It is as progressive as it is functional…” one critic
declared.
“Offensive! It’s visually offensive and represents toxic
masculinity…” another parried.
We live in extremely partisan times.
More as the story develops.
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British public falls into hysterics, savage
mockery, as much-loved television presenter attempts to surf The
Wave in Bristol: “She couldn’t even get up to her knees on her
board!”
By Chas Smith
Sea change.
Has the VAL-pocalypse taken a new and
heretofore unexpected zig in the last few weeks? It certainly
appears so with those who have picked up our surfing game later in
life are acting uncharacteristically.
The VAL, up until this moment, has been marked by his or her
general enthusiasm, lack of care in learning proper etiquette,
desire to throw the doors of sliding pleasure open for
VALs-in-waiting.
But no longer?.
For in Britain we see much-loved television presenter on the
popular program This Morning, Josie Gibson, travel to Bristol,
there on the south of the pendulum, to surf The Wave except fell
before even getting to her knees.
Previously, her effort would have been cheered by VALs and
VALs-in-waiting alike but on Friday, Ms. Gibson was ruthlessly
mocked by viewers and co-hosts alike.
One person wrote, “I actually chuckled out loud at Josie falling
in.”
Another sneered, “Poor Josie here they’ll put her through
anything.”
The country’s famous tabloids piled on next, running headlines
declaring “HYSTERICAL” and “FAILURE.”
And is it possible that the VAL and VAL-in-waiting will all
round on each other in a spectacular bloodbath?
Probable even?
More as the story develops.
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Minnesota man, self-identifying VAL,
becomes hero overnight by saving drowning man, dog: “I believe that
it was totally a God thing to have us be surfing and staying out
that day and not coming home when we did!”
By Chas Smith
Beautiful.
Unlikely heroes are the best sorts of heroes
and about this there can be no debate. Simple men and women not
chasing fame and glory but when the bell sounds, when needed, jump
into action without considering the consequences but we simply must
meet Darby Voeks, 26, of Minnesota.
The local news channel describes him as a surfer, and he was in
fact, in Duluth to surf on the day fate knocked but he, himself,
does not consider himself such as “he’s still new to the
sport.”
Have you ever heard such self-awareness in a VAL?
Such beautiful clarity?
A hero already but the story gets better.
Voeks was at Park Point in Duluth, enjoying a run of early
spring swell when he decided to catch one last wave.
“I was supposed to head home to meet up with my girlfriend for
dinner and I thought, ‘Just one more wave. Maybe just one more
wave.’ I know that what good surfers do is they’ll walk down the
pier … and they’ll jump off the pier and kind of get to the main
break without having to paddle all the way out there,” he said.
As he made his way down the pier a woman rolled up to him in a
wheelchair, frantic.
“I need help.” She pleaded. “Can you please help? Can you please
help? My dog is drowning in the water and I think my aide went in
after him.”
Voeks let his surfboard fall and sprinted to the end of the pier
where he looked and looked, seeing nothing, until a bellowing voice
filled the cool air, “HELP! HELP! I CAN’T SWIM!”
Voeks was able to get the man a life ring and hauled him to the
stairs.
Next, he spotted the dog and without a pause jumped into the
chop.
He swam over to the terrified pup and then swam her back back to
the pier, breathing heavily.
All safe and accounted for.
“There were way too many coincidences to just say, ‘Oh, it was
right place, right time. Lucky,'” He said. “I believe that it was
totally a God thing to have us be surfing and staying out that day
and not coming home when we did and wanting to stay out longer and
have me decide to just go one more wave, one more wave.”
The first responders have nominated Voeks for the prestigious
Duluth Citizen Partnership Award.
“You saved a life today. You saved a dog and you saved a
person’s life. We’re extremely grateful.”
World’s greatest VAL.
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The original comment by Noa Deane, who was a
mere four months into his post-teen life was ridiculed and
moralised by the usual suspects but has assumed a quiet staying
power and historical significance.
A brief history of Fuck The WSL: “The
backlash against billionaire-backed organisations like the WSL
acting as moral arbiters has legs”
By Longtom
The original comment by Noa Deane has assumed a
quiet staying power and historical significance.
Fascism is very topical right now, very hot, and I will
not throw two cents into the bubbling pot except to say anyone
interested in the phenomenon is obliged to read Chapter
51, page 201 of Vasily Grossman’s Life and Fate.
I don’t believe I’ve misqoted him or misrepresented his words.
If I have I’m sure he will correct me below the line.
I merely ask (apart from Medina’s revolt), what could be sexier
than a genuine recreational surfer revolt against the WSL
Answer: Nothing.
As for what is mere “pageantry” and what is authentic, we will
need five years to elapse before history can determine a judgement
on that question.
I believe, having witnessed it first hand, that the successful
recreational surfer revolt against the proposed WSL contest at
Lennox Head, will pass the authentic test.
The other, more performative gestures being championed by Dual
World Champion Tyler Wright, we will see.
I have an open mind on the question.
The revolt against the WSL comp at Lennox was about the
loveliest, most genuine, inclusive, spontaneous thing I’ve ever
witnessed in surfing. It united young and old, guys, gals, poor,
rich etc etc.
No-one sought to self-aggrandise or boost their profile. Their
was zero corporate sponsorship, virtue signalling or profit motive.
It wasn’t sponsored by Rip Curl, not supported by Nike. There were
no leaders, no followers.
I loves me a peasant revolt and this was about as pure an
uprising against devious corporate control as you can get. Right up
there with my fav uprising: the 1917 Kronsdadt Mutiny*.
Most beautifully, when it was done and dusted people put their
heads down, waxed up whips and went back to the business of shred,
without a skerrick of animosity.
By Prodan’s own measure, this was as good as it gets. It just so
happens the organisation he represents was the “oppressor”, and
thus surgically excised from his moral calculus.
Of course, much of the power and ready made branding of the
revolt came down to the already extant slogan, #FucktheWSL.
If Prodan and Carroll wish to come to grips with anything
counter-culture left in surfing, and stop chasing “sad echoes of
what was cool” then it’s sitting right there in front of their
noses via this simple slogan.
The response of the WSL to the overwhelming rec surfer revolt at
Lennox?
Yep. No surprise. Cone of silence.
Bit of bitchy sour grapes sniping from Fanning in his
“Getting Heated” ep with Ross.
The original comment by Noa Deane, who was a mere four months
into his post-teen life, was ridiculed and moralised by the usual
suspects but has assumed a quiet staying power and historical
significance.
It’s worth a minor examination.It’s a sliding doors moment.
Then CEO Paul Speaker only announced the changeover from the ASP
to the WSL on Sep 12 2014. At the time of Deane’s comments, the
Surfer Poll Awards in early December of the same year the
changeover hadn’t yet occurred.
It was still the ASP Pipe Masters.
If Deane had said “Fuck the ASP” the slogan would have dropped
stone dead into the deep, dark well of history.
Like other outdated slogans such as “It takes a Tour to make a
Title” and “world’s best surfers in the worlds best waves”.
How a twenty-year-old Deane was prescient enough to use the new
organisations name in his slogan will go down as one of the great
acts of future proofing what was left of the counter-cultural
spirit of revolt left in surfing.
Which was the whole point: Deane’s missile was aimed at the
corporatisation, the bland homogeneity of the Ziff takeover and
push to Middle America.
The immediate blowback for Deane was swift, but the usual
evangalizing nonsense missed the mark big time.
Fuck the WSL has endured, the blowback is long forgotten.
The results: Deane signed a five year 500K a year deal with
Volcom in Jan 2017, not quite the fuck-you money Dane got from
Quiksilver, but better than the deal for free wetsuits that Matty
Banting signed this year.
No one knows how this will play out.
But the backlash against corporates and billionaire-backed
organisations like the WSL acting as moral arbiters has legs, as
evidenced by the enduring appeal of Noa Deane’s deathless
phrase.
Woz might want to look in the mirror at its own social licence
before they ride the woke hobby horse into the future.
Or not.
*Sailors not peasants and brutally suppressed by the Red
Army.
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Hero.
Listen: In stunning move, professional surf
fans rise up as one, choose Caio Ibelli as champion, seek to wrest
levers of control for The People™!
By Chas Smith
It's a revolution!
When your great-grandchildren look up at you
lovingly, eyes innocent, and ask “Where were you when The People™
regained control of professional surfing?” will you be able to
answer them “On the front lines, for you sweet one… On the front
lines for you.”
An important question because here, now, is our opportunity to
wrest the levers of power away from sullied interests, from private
equity firms and born-billionaires.
Project Ibelli was first floated on last week’s The
Grit! episode, a brilliant concept from a Boulder,
Colorado master of business administration who suggested a way
forward.
Have The People™ take ownership of a surfer, Caio Ibelli the
obvious choice as he was just recently dropped by Oakley and is the
only professional surfer to follow BeachGrit on Instagram,
amongst getting robbed in an injury wildcard kerfuffle and has the
ire of Gabriel Medina.
In stunning move, Chas Smith didn’t just jabber but reached out
to Caio after the show and received an encouraging response. David
Lee, per the norm, did the rest of the work.
PROJECT IBELLI evolved from years of witnessing a decline in
pro surfing’s chosen path and was spurned by a synchronicity of
current events: 1) Caio removing his marquee sponsor’s sticker from
his board after being dropped, and 2) the financial market coup
perpetuated by Redditors who exposed large hedge funds via the
GameStop stock pump. Herein, we immediately recognized an
opportunity for an epic controlled-disruption and social statement
to be carried out by The Grit! podcast community utilizing
grassroots tactics similar to the aforementioned melee on Wall
Street.
PROJECT IBELLI’S mission is to take back surfing by
crowd-funding support of our favorite surfers, individuals who
align with our core values and are often neglected or maligned by
“industry” support. To kick off PROJECT IBELLI, listeners of the
The Grit! podcast (and the community at large) will be given the
opportunity to crowdfund a cash deal to have The Grit! sticker
placed on the nose of Caio Ibelli’s boards for the
just-around-the-corner Newcastle event.
Want in?
There’s no minimum.
Every time he dips into the competitor’s area, World Surf League
CEO Erik Logan will be forced to recognize his gauzy dream has come
to this.
