Watch: “Grumpy Local Fever” breaks out at Ohio waterpark as attempted snake on surf-themed ride leads to all-out brawl!

A dangerous mutation.

Three years ago, now, and in a brave speech to the Surf Industry Manufacturers Association, co-Waterperson of the Year and owner of the World Surf League first identified the “grumpy local” as a dangerous scourge.

But don’t pretend you don’t know that when you go beyond constructive criticism and cynically try to rally negative sentiment towards the WSL, when you try to take us down, you are not just going after us. You are going after Kelly Slater. You are trying to take down Lakey Peterson. You are going after the dreams of Caroline Marks and Griffin Colapinto. You are undermining the hopes of every kid who lives with salt in their hair, dreaming of being a world champion one day. And I ask you: Why? It seems pretty obvious that if the WSL keeps growing in popularity, and surfing takes its rightful place among the great and elite competitive sports, everyone connected with our sport, and certainly all the members of SIMA, will prosper, except maybe a few grumpy locals who have to deal with some new faces in the lineup.

Long relegated to coastlines, that grumpy local festered and complained, told kooks to beat it and went after the dreams of Caroline Marks and Griffin Colapinto. A nasty virulence but contained to ocean-fronting states.

Until now.

With the growth of wave pools and “surf-themed water rides” in Lemoore, Munich and Texas it was only a matter of time before grumpy localism spread and, last week, a particularly nasty grumpy locals, dealing with new faces in line at a “surf-themed water ride” at Kalahari Resorts in Sandusky, Ohio really got into it.

Per several news reports two “surfers” tried to cut, or snake, the line and then things went wild. punches thrown, punches received, people knocked out, lifeguards arriving to sort out the hurt and getting knocked out too.

Erie County Sheriff Paul Sigsworth, not used to grumpy localism, initially blamed alcohol for the fracas, telling Cleveland 19 News, (Two of the involved parties) were both very intoxicated, and they were also combative. The male was combative with our deputies. He was charged accordingly, and he also had a warrant out in the state of Michigan. We want everybody to come and have a good time, but we want them to be responsible with their consumption of alcohol. We’ll continue to respond to 911 calls out there, whatever they may be, and if people are intoxicated to the point where they’re causing a disturbance, they’re going to be arrested.”

We know that alcohol is not to blame, though, and co-Waterperson of the Year Ziff should think about setting up grumpy local mitigation centers in waterpark adjacent communities as part of his philanthropy.

Wise and kind.

Watch here (if you’re of age and not easily triggered).

Travel's gettin' real sexy again.

Surf Travel Biz brought to knees by pandemic develops “COVID-19 tool”, aims to re-open world to intrepid shredders: “It was like a bomb exploded!”

Hit the button, punch in where y’coming from, where y’going, and you’ll get a list of what you can and can’t do and where you can and can’t go. Australia? Screwed. US? You got some travel options.

For anyone in the travel game, airline, travel agent, maker of limp pastries tossed at passengers in coach, biz didn’t just slide in March 2020, it plummeted off a cliff.

Billions of dollars worth of plane tickets, hotel bookings, boat trips, whatever, all rendered void.

Planes were grounded and sent off to the desert in California, the airlines’ flight attendants sent off to eek an existence as playthings on OnlyFans. Contracts with travel agency employees were terminated, offices cleared out, them pretty Herm Miller chairs thrown onto Craigslist, the whole industry all dead in the water.

German surfer, skier Tim Heising, whose surf, snow, travel business had been running on an upward trajectory since he kicked it off in 2008, explains what it’s like to be booted in the teeth.

“It started real subtle. We didn’t worry about it too much until sales literally dropped to zero from one week to another,” he says. “We’ve had so many affected trips, we couldn’t keep up processing date changes, refunds and credit vouchers. It was like a bomb exploded, and there was no stopping in sight.”

First thing he did was cut costs and draw up the ol worst-case scenario plan.

“By the time we implemented some changes, the situation went from bad to worse. We had no other option but to (temporarily) lay off most of our staff and move out of our cushy office and into our homes.”

Heising didn’t feel great about icing his employees but, worse, was the spectre of losing his own shirt and almost a decade-and-a-half of work.

“Some days, I didn’t know how and for how long I was going to be able to feed my family. It was such an emotional rollercoaster, and for a long time, we had no idea how and if we’re going to pull through.”

“Fear of bankruptcy because we didn’t know what was going on with the trips that were already paid in full and people were requesting refunds for,” he says.

Heising wasn’t gonna let his biz slip away, howevs. He cut some deals with suppliers, got a piece of the government aid pie and focussed on getting surfers to the Maldives, which remained accessible during the pandemic and where the waves were, still are, gloriously empty.

And, now that the world is getting a handle on the virus, surf destinations are opening up, slowly. But if you wanna travel you’re going to hit plenty of logistical speed bumps.

There ain’t two countries alike when it comes to COVID protocols, requirements etc.

So Heising and his LUEX gang came up with a “COVID-19 tool”. Hit the button, punch in where y’coming from, where y’going, and you’ll get a list of what you can and can’t do and where you can and can’t go.

Australia, our pretty hermit kingdom? Screwed, pretty much.

The US, a whole lot better.

“Our intention with the tool isn’t to promote traveling per se but to ensure that people playing with the idea of going on a surf trip have access to accurate, up-to-date and relevant information to keep everyone involved safe,” says Heising.

“We also get many people asking us for information on what traveling might look like in the future, and just like everyone, we can only speculate. A lot of countries will adopt more lenient protocols for vaccinated people – similar to what the Seychelles, Belize and Barbados are already doing. But how exactly this will look like, and if we’re required to carry a vaccine passport with us once we embark into the ‘new normal’ remains to be seen.”

Darkest days over, silver linings in clouds, Heising is getting the gang back together.

Business is good, not booming, but it’s good.

Birds are in the sky.

Boards are being shoved into bags.

Ain’t never gonna be a time like this, again, at least not until the next time the world shutters.

There’s a window into empty lineups.

Right now.

Gimme: Former high-end surf brand Hurley releases much-anticipated inflatable “wave runner pool float!”

Summer's here (Australia not included)!

It was almost one year ago, now, that BeachGrit gained exclusive access to top-secret plans that showed the future of Hurley. The once high-end surf brand had recently been purchased by Bluestar Alliance, a company which promised to “embark on a complete and thorough understanding of the brand’s potential channels of distribution and price point strategies. We create tools such as brand development profiles, trend guides, style guides and marketing strategies. These marketing materials portray graphic illustrations and a strategic marketing road map to enhance consumer brand recognition.”

The staff was culled, apparently unnecessary on the journey of complete understanding, and top-secret plans leaked showing an inflatable wave runner and an inflatable wave.

Almost one year ago, now, but the dream is officially reality.

The Hurley Inflatable Wave Runner Pool Float is available at all fine retailers including Walmart and Amazon for an average price around $15.99.

If you live in North America or Europe, with summer right around the corner, I can’t imagine not owning.

Heck, I don’t even have a pool and am considering a purchase for to do whip ins at Cardiff Reef.

Do you think it is a 2 or 4 stroke?


Logan (left) pictured celebrating the removal of his curse.
Logan (left) pictured celebrating the removal of his curse.

Breaking: Curse of World Surf League CEO Erik Logan officially lifted from Hawaiian islands as surf competitions allowed to resume!


It was many months ago, or maybe years, that the World Surf League kicked off its 2020/21 championship tour season at the very famous Banzai Pipeline. Fans of professional surfing were thrilled, as were the professional surfers themselves, who flew to Oahu’s North Shore and became tested for the dreaded Covid-19 and neither came to within six feet of each other nor spoke to each other without masks.

But even with the abundances of caution, that dreaded Covid-19 found a chink in the armor and infected World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who, in turn, made an announcement that he had been infected, along with five staffers, and that the Pipeline Masters would be suspended whilst he convalesced.

Days, or maybe weeks, later it resumed and John John Florence won and Tyler Wright won but the next event, at Sunset, was cancelled and all subsequent surf competitions were cancelled forever.

Or, rather, until June 1, 2021 which Governor David Ige has officially selected to banish the Curse of Erik Logan and allow for points to be awarded for hand jams off the top.

State Health Director Libby Char told Honolulu Civil Beat, “The data shows us pretty clearly now that outdoor activities is quite safe. The transmission rates are very, very low, I believe it’s less than 1% if you’re outdoors.”

The Curse of Erik Logan had been a severe burden, not just on aspiring professional surfers, but all Hawaiians as even the U.S. Surgeon General was ticketed for trying to take pictures outside.

“F*ck the WSL” he might have been thinking.

But a very happy ending with the state’s children being able to go out and chase their dreams and know they are chasing their dreams properly because of hooters going off.

Very cool.

Close call for one of the Honkies of the sea. | Photo: Trapman Bermagui/Facebook

Watch as two Australian anglers land, then release, Great White shark in knee-deep water near swimmers at popular Australian tourist beach, “It shows that sharks aren’t hell bent on eating humans!”

"We hooked two more sharks there in a short three-hour session, while people were swimming right next to us," says angler.

More proof, if proof was necessary of course, of the abundant and healthy stock of Great White sharks in Australian waters. 

In this remarkable video, we find two anglers who were busy catching bronze whaler sharks right off a popular swimming beach at Short Point in Merimbula on the NSW South Coast, hooking a Great White and then releasing the happy creature back into the wild.

Great White gets the ol catch-and-release treatment. Bronzies not so lucky.

“We hooked two more sharks there in a short three-hour session, while people were swimming right next to us,” fisherman Lucas Smith wrote on the Trapman Bermagui Facebook page. “No shortage of them around, we target bronze whalers anything else is a by-catch and certainly not a targeted species, was amazing watching it swim away healthy.”

A smart move, yes. 

In NSW, y’gonna get hit with a $55,000 fine and a year in prison if you figured you’d souvenir the fish. 

You’ll recall the Western Australian deckhand who was fined $12,500 and had his fishing license suspended for one year for taking selfies with two Great Whites after dragging ‘em, dead, from his nets. 

The response on the page was mostly positive, “It shows that sharks aren’t hell bent on eating humans” wrote one, forgetting perhaps, the Sydney surfer who was killed, six days earlier, by a fifteen-foot Great White only fifty yards from shore.

A witness on the beach said, “The shark came out of the water, just smashed him, five seconds later he came round and hit him again,” disproving that hoary ol chestnut that Whites take one bite, don’t like, and beat it.