"Surf pools drained and empty, wave generating equipment apparently dismantled..."
Oh to be 11x ASP/WSL champion Kelly Slater. In California’s armpit, his eponymous Surf Ranch Pro is set to kick off tomorrow under a scorching sun with many professional surfers dreaming fevered mutinous dreams. Not one happy person within 15 miles (save event winner Gabriel Medina).
And, hours away, in Texas’s heart, once-thrilled residents are seething, angry, growing increasingly restless with the purchase, then shuttering, of a proud NLand Surf Park just outside of Austin.
Austonia, a locals’ only website detailing life in, and around, Austin, has just published a scathing piece titled “Summer Bummer” blaming “the world’s greatest surfer” for their woes and let us read, now, together:
Austin’s surf park made a splash when it opened in 2016, astounding the city’s land-locked surf-lovers with new artificial wave technology. Two years after a company led by the world’s most famous surfer took over, an Austonia drone photo survey shows a desolate site where there once was a thriving attraction that brought surfers from both coasts, and beyond.
Surf pools drained and empty, wave generating equipment apparently dismantled, parking lots empty, surf shop and pub closed. Mud, weeds, and only the sound of prairie wind, where once big waves broke to the sounds of joy from excited surfers.
Ouch.
Austonia goes on to detail how they hired a drone to fly above the surf park and see what Kelly Slater hath wrought (mud, weeds), writes of how Slater and the World Surf League have done nothing with the property since August 2019 when an engineering plan was denied by the City Council and how this has not been Slater and the WSL’s only boondoggle.
Shall we read more?
Austin’s Surf Ranch isn’t the only location to flop. According to Beach Grit, Slater’s first U.S. location, a prototype Surf Ranch location in Lemoore, California, seemed closest to opening but remains closed to the public, open by invite only. Another in the works by KSW is Surf Ranch Coolum in Queensland, Australia, a $1.2 billion development with plans to open in 2022.
We already know what’s going to happen in Coolum, don’t we.
A handful of nothin’.
The world’s greatest film has taught us that, sometimes, nothin’ can be a real cool hand but not in this case.
Not in Austin.
(More as the story develops.)
Billionaires are going to have to hide from pissed off masses who blame them for climate change sinking there homes.
guess it’s hard to make $$$ one surfer/wave at a time
You dont make money from the wave. You make money from the food and beverages and entertainment and retail you build with the wave as the center attraction.
That’s the Wave House model.
Bringing perfect waves to places far from the ocean is a big attraction.
guess that business plan flopped in Tx
Waco flopped because they were sloppy and two people got killed and they went bankrupt. That’s just one of the problems with the open to the public plan. There are others.
Surf Ranch has it right: Private groups, controlled, etc.
250 X $50,000 – $70,000
And the Austin deal is ongoing.
KSWCO and WSL are like Ellison – slow, deliberate, do it right, don’t screw it up.
No wave before it’s time.
They know what they’re doing, even if you don’t.
Austin is ongoing and in the works. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Covid has thrown a spanner in everything, you might have noticed and so plans are now coming back online.
Drain Leemore.
Lemoore. It’s proper spelling of place names that separate us from the Mongol races and might lead one to conclude you aren’t an illiterate dipshit.
You neglected to tell the Austin paper that Surf Ranch isn’t by invite only and is open to any person or group who can pay $50,000 – $70,000 to surf the place for a day and they are booked 250+ days a year to the tune of about $13,000,000?
Left that detail out, didya?
How much did you get paid to post this…oh wait you’re unemployed and you only wish you were on payroll as their PR department.
No, just don’t like fake news.
And who needs employment when you’ve got Tesla stock?
Work is for saps.
Money earns more money than any job.
You missed the point but never fail to point out your Tesla stock, get an identity.
There was no point. This is beachgrit.com. The blind leading the saps.
The point is you suck off anything Kelly does, as shown by your latests rants.
No I just have a lot more respect for some ningnong who came from a broken home in Florida and had the guts and talent and discipline and nerve and brains to become a ridiculously talented surfer and – in his spare time – lend a hand to getting right what everyone else has gotten wrong.
Laird is the same way.
These are smart dudes.
Surfing does not require a brain. Why dont you make your self useful and write a biography on him.
The people who rise to the top in surfing are fairly brainy. The guys who started the companies, and Kelly, and Laird.
Perhaps you don’t require a brain, but others do.
Surfing requires a brain that gives the body the skill and reflexes to drop in over the ledge at six foot Pipe, or tow into giant Jaws.
What a dumb thing to say: “Surfing doesn’t require a brain.”
The word you’re looking for is skill, he has skill to “drop over the ledge, tow in at jaws” none of which has anything to do with being smart.
Kelly is plenty smart. So is Laird. So was Brock. So are Bob and Bob and Fernando and the Cheese and all the dudes who started those companies.
Some of the media guys are smart too but not all of them.
You’re distracting me from important work.
Just got alllllllll of the folders for the D____ M_____ webiography.
I’m going to use some of them to fill out this sample chapter
http://www.benmarcusrules.c…
And hopefully they’ll let me do all of it.
D___ M_____ is going to be W____ O____ T____ Y____ this year and he deserves it.
Ooodles of great photos.
Amazing how good Kodachrome was in the 1950s.
That’s Dick on the right, gone native.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
What’s with the Ben M. link above, is that some type of advertorial.
Are you doing this stuff for exposure.
Ben M actually owns beachgrit.com. Financed it from Day One like the Winkelvoss Twins. IT’s a loss leader but whatever.
You own Beachgrit?
Ssssshhhhh.
He made so much money on the stock market, he needed a business that lost a lot of money to write off. Beachgrit.com was perfect.
A website for goofballs that doesn’t get advertising from the surf industry because it tries to insult a surf industry that doesn’t exist.
I think the real blind are newbies, indoctrinated by the Wsl, I also think the Wsl is full of crock, with their propaganda aimed at the real blind, ‘newbies’, that don’t have a clue about surf history. It seems the Wsl is hurting so bad they are now hiring ‘swimmer’ Michel Phelps for new propaganda programing, for another feeble attempt to reach the ‘mainstream. Michael Phelps? really? would that be a draw for real surfers.
Ten shares of Tesla stock won’t get you far.
Speaking of fake news, I still believe the Wsl is not profitable on its own, and doesn’t have a chance of gaining the interest of the inland unwashed masses, the Wsl’s prime dream target audience, where the real money is at, I think Dirks billions are what is still keeping the Wsl afloat.
Maybe that’s what’s he’s shooting for.
Umm, if so, (big if), you’re saying the Wsl found an untapped market of (rich) kooks, who could never cut it in the real Ocean, but who want to get a picture of themselves to put on their wall of them surfing, so they can tell their friends that they surf (once in a tank) and are now cool.
Most of America – and the world – is hotter than stink half the year and people just want fun ways to cool off and get in the water.
That’s all KSWCO is – another watery attraction, but one that is kinda special because it so shockingly recreates lightning in a bottle and puts perfect waves in reach of anyone.
It’s actually challenging, from top to bottom.
That’s it.
That’s all.
Just another kind of waterpark that is radder than others.
The fact that it’s created and endorsed by the best surfer in history is a plus – like a Tony Hawk Skatepark.
So don;t get your tits in a ringer.
Worry about bringing down the Republican party or sending Trump to jail or something important.
Anyone who can casually afford 50k to piss down the drain like that is, I would argue, not the general public.
Ten members of the General Public putting up $5000 each is the General Public.
KSWC and WSL are run and owned by business illiterate morons who couldnt manage a lemonade stand if their lives depended on it.
I can guarantee you that the interest they make off KSWCO in a year – just the interest – is more money than you’re gonna make in the next 10 years.
You don’t have a clue what you are talking about.
None.
Hence, you read Beachgrit.
You voted for Trump and bet on the Chiefs and Gonzaga and the Lakers, innit?
Yeah you did,
There’s more to life than money.
You seem to be a little fixated on it.
Money is freedom.
No, money is not freedom.
Yes, it is. Where I live I am surrounded by gazillionaires. I have coffee with them every morning. For all their dough, they live fairly simple, uncomplicated lives. And that’s what they all tell me: The best thing money buys is freedom.
Freedom to do what you want, deal with who you want, live the way you want.
That’s what money buys.
…………. Bahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha 🤣
You’re having sex with a sheep? Shame.
And being rich is something you will never have to worry about.
But if being rich gives you freedom, why is there any worrying….? Now I’m confused
That sheep was good btw. A lot of wool to hold onto
Life is a veil of troubles.
Money can’t buy you love..
Sez you.
You shoulda worked for T____ with your fake news and misinformation. You’re playing your readers for saps. Oh well, who was it who said: “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”
P____ T____ B____? W___C F____? R____ M____?
Pretty sad day when BG is being quoted as a source of information.
The Sound of Music
I agree,
Brown paper packages tied up with string are one of my favorite things
Finally some real surf journalism…and from the Austonia.
What about the Palm Beach FL one? You know, the one they couldn’t do thanks to groundwater? I felt that was the most ironic one, wave pool unable to be built because of water.
Water you talking about?
Wouldn’t you be a logical person to find out the answer to that question?
what question? why Chas forgot about it? Extensively covered at the time mate.
Thanks for lowering yourself to visit BG
Word has it Gabby’s dad hasn’t been seen for a few months but a strange new older dark skinned janitor has started working at the new wavepool. Something tells me he won’t be alone *winks in Brazilian*
Walked into a CVs pharmacy with no mask today for the first time in a year and half. So nice!
So is Kelly the Grinch or is he Willy Wonka?
Wonka.
“According to Beach Grit…” hahahahaha! LOVE IT.
The Texas grid wouldn’t handle the load anyway. The residents are being asked not to use washing machines or much hot water.
Which I’m sure they will comply with, but ask them to wear a mask….REVOLT!
The Coolum pool will likely go ahead, might be the site of surfing in the 2032 Brisbane Olympic shitshow that no-one but the politicians really wants. they’ll probably be willing to chuck some tax $ at it to help Kelly out.
Dosn’t seem like a good city to have it at. Maybe somewhere else in Australia. Melbourne?
I would be very surprised if it goes ahead. Beyond getting the various approvals for wetland destruction, etc, the local feeling is exclusively ‘anti’, outside of those who are in the pocket of the developers…
friends, pray for the people of Austin with me
Kelly : I don’t care so much that I’m going to go on three platforms and say how much I don’t care, that’ll teach them to mess with Bob!