The exodus from tomorrow's Surf Ranch Pro continues as another top-rated pro surfer withdraws from the WSL's only wavepool event.
Hottish on the heels of today’s report of a top-rated surfer describing the Surf Ranch Pro as “an abomination, anti-nature, soulless” and following the withdrawals of Jordy Smith, John John Florence, Julian Wilson, Kolohe Andino, Michel Bourez and gals Tyler Wright, Lakey Peterson, Bronte Macaulay and Macy Callaghan, is the news that two-time Pipe Master Jeremy Flores has also withdrawn from the contest.
Reunion Island-born Flores, who is thirty-three and the current world number eighteen, made the announcement in a tweet this afternoon.
Unfortunately i had to pull out of the Surd ranch event due to some health issues & fatigue. The last few months have been non stop, between the OZ leg & the ISA in El Salvador. I’m going to recover & I’ll be back in the water soon ! Good luck to all
https://twitter.com/floresjeremy/status/1405742742655827968
The news is another blow to whatever prestige the WSL might attach to the event, many surfers of the belief, which is correct, that if y’ain’t Italo, Gabriel or Filipe, you’re gonna lose early and who wants to be sitting around in Lemoore when it’s 111 (44 degrees) and the stink of 100,000 doomed cows from nearby Harris Ranch fills the air?
Am I right?
Even the New Yorker’s Bill Finnegan, who was fresh off wining the Pulitzer for Barbarian Days when he visited the event in 2018, pronounced it as “unexciting…..the pool made surfing feel tame, domesticated.”
The highlight of that year, I think very safe to say, was a billboard on the road leading to the Ranch celebrating the diversity of talent at the WSL.
Despite vowing never to cover the event again, Steve “Longtom” Shearer has agreed to write an analysis of each of the three days.
“God yes, I have to,” he wrote to me via SMS. “Just to see what Kelly does.”
I guess the local Meth Labs have taken the Pandemic downtime to up their quality…
I guess when you know you might place last at such an event, there is no reason in going!?
Surf Ranch and Lemoore sits on what was once the largest freshwater lake west of the Rockies, Tulare Lake. It was destroyed by diverting it’s tributaries for irrigation over a hundred plus years ago and remains a little known eco-disaster that destroyed the Tachi Indians lifeline. Hope Tyler takes two knees.
Roll Up Roll Up Roll Up
And see the magnificently named Wild Card ….
JABE SWIERKOCKI ( kind of sounds like 4 dicks in German/ English )
Who said the WSL had no sense …… of humor ?
No 123 on the QS ,with 5 wins, take on ……. some of the CT who actually bothered to turn up , a 50 something bald goat herder , originally from Florida , and Michael Dunphy …. who is from the East Coast but not Florida , surfs good , but is no threat , so I like him …..and 66 world champ Nat Young is back ….. strange that he moved to Santa Cruz of all places ?
Just don’t call him Dumpf truck.
I actually had a surf with him at Boomerang Beach just after a QS in the region ….. very talented surfer like all the guys in the top 100 on the QS
Surding sucks don’t do it
All this Rio truancy is really coming home to roost.
Nuts how goes the comeback …..? Still Boogey wonderland , or are you back as a standup comic ?…..I am coming back to France for a few weeks ….. got my second shot of Second Class Oxford English Medicine Astra Zeneca , ( Yes Australian Medical Boards , Bion Tech /Pfizer is from World Class Medical Nation Germany ) , and just did a Caroline Marks getting a false positive after a dodgy quick test ….. only to blessed with a Negative today , after sweating it out for 24hrs for the real result from a real test …
Mate! I’m riding a 6’0” thruster with varying degrees of success but every surf is better. I’m pretty stoked. I’m so jealous of you going to France, as soon as they think of letting us still functioning convicts on the loose I’ll be taking that vaccine up the japs if need be. Dreaming of big La Nord, fun beachies with mild hangovers and a streak of one wipe wonders that only the lifestyle there can produce. Also, titties.
Just titties thanks
Well done champ
I also will be skipping the goat ranch due to fatigue
You know that “fatigue” in the Cali desert means meth, right?
maybe that could be the banner
‘Surf Ranch; better than meth’
Where’s your evidence?
well, none
how about ‘better than a steaming heap of cow shit’
I like it…I like it a lot!
Perstonally, I can’t wait for the Sur Franchpro. *
Nothing screams “testing ones mettle and physically creative improvisational skills” like a minute-by-minute schedule of ridden waves published days before the event.
*You would literally have to pay me to watch it.
Downhill Skiing without the hill ?
uphill skiing
With all the withdrawals I’m actually looking forward to this event now.
If anyone else drops out , they could slide in Chas “ Eddy the Eagle “ Smith or the Dashing Dezdemona Reilly ….. Human BG Billboards ! At least the post pool wave interviews will be fun …… and , have no fear Chas , I will be praying to the patron Saint of dodgy soft shoulders San Clemente daily.
They can’t be far off. Joe just announced that an 18yr old from California got an invite and thought it was a joke.
More wildcards than a Cheaters Anonymous poker championship.
What we lose in Jflo’s french arrogance we get in Ace Buchans intelligent trademark snaps
Congrats GS 007 on your Hawaiian Born Costa Rican Athlete going to the Tokyo Olympics representing Deutschland .I thought I might have seen him last Saturday at Weissenhaus Strand in the Baltic …. alas no .
Longtom the Masochist!
More like John the Baptist at Salome’s rave party ?
Surf Stench Pro
Yeah he’s got a foot injury
Le Club Foote is dominating Pro Surf Injury Brigade .
If there’s no billboards left to rent, can you get a plane to fly over the event towing a message (banner), they’re pretty cheap, about 500 bucks an hour.
I’m pretty sure you could think something witty up.
I’d throw in a $100.00 bucks.
Do it Chas/Derek!!
I would also donate
I can’t afford to donate but I can send feverish thoughts and prayers.
Can’t donate but I can amputate
The cheap, character revealing analysis from us plebs, LT’s write ups, and whatever whack-a-do shit Joe and assorted crew say will keep
me entertained. Nihilistic cunt that I am.
COVID-19 is out of control in the county.
With the hot weather driving everyone indoors to the air con .
Surf ranch is shaping up to be a super spreader event!
Someone gunna catch it and die for sure
Settle down Dan
Seems like there are some unintended side effects from the new format; If you don’t have a meaningful shot at the top five you can opt out of surfing shitty waves. You definitely can’t script this.