Two-time world surfing champion John John Florence gives hell to VAL actors in stinging critique of movie surfing!

Florence skewers Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Blue Crush, Point Break, Orange County, Chasing Mavericks, Lilo and Stitch and Surf's Up.

The two-time world surfing champion, John John Florence, has appeared on an episode of GQ’s Breakdown where, with impressive earnestness, he examines the surfing in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Blue Crush, Point Break, Orange County, Chasing Mavericks, Lilo and Stitch and Surf’s Up.

Dressed in a fuchsia Florence Marine X crew neck that matches the radiances of his sun-beaten skin, the twenty-eight-year-old Hawaiian, whose net worth is twelve million dollars, delivers an eloquent potpourri of the petals fallen from the flowers of Hollywood.

Although released yesterday, the episode was clearly filmed over one year ago, Florence referring to the great Derek Ho, who died in July, 2020, in the present tense, although I too like to think Uncle Dez will live forever. 

A little long at sixteen minutes, but Florence has a warm sincere smile and speaks without restraint.

Pro Surfer John John Florence Breaks Down Surfing Scenes from Movies | GQ Sports
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Ando
Ando
5 years ago

“the twenty-eight-year-old Hawaiian … delivers an eloquent potpourri of the petals fallen from the flowers of Hollywood.”

Fuck DR, that gave me a horn you could crack fleas on.

TJBurke
TJBurke
5 years ago

I had no problem with this with this.

nicky buttonshaw
nicky buttonshaw
5 years ago

I only lasted to the 11 minute mark.
His monotone voice was making even Luke Egan seem like Jim Carey!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Has anyone ever seen Hetfield and Ellen De Generes/Strider together?

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago

Snooki wants smush smush!

Ancient Alien Theorist
Ancient Alien Theorist
5 years ago

Notice he did not critique North Shore, because it is 100% realistic.

some surfer
some surfer
5 years ago

Does anybody really wear fuchsia colored clothes?

bruddah
bruddah
5 years ago

Geeez… Even when Kolohe is first (in this case, the first surfer to do this for GQ), he’s second…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Pat V Mann
Pat V Mann
5 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

actually Japans own Kanoa of Huntington did one of these also so John John Marine X takes the Bronze

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
5 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

Kolohe seems like a good man. Zero snideness.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
5 years ago

Listen to a pro surfer talk for 16 minutes?no thanks I’ll just read the comments

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
5 years ago

Yes, but tell us about his real estate portfolio Drek…

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

*3 time. Also surprised you haven’t hit us with Dylan Graves’ new LGBQT Vans video offering. Dude is on fire.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

So non binary
But so boring.

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
5 years ago

Surfs up is a masterpiece and I wish Nate had been the top Florence

turts
turts
5 years ago

Ivan is John in Russian

Work that out

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  turts

So he should be Ivan Ivan to maintain continuity?

turts
turts
5 years ago

Ivan John, and John Ivan

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  turts

Could not find one photo of JJF next to van. Disappointed to not continue this groundbreaking thread.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

Yeah JJ is good but can he Hydroflyer?? Me thinks not! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
5 years ago

Is John John the secret child of James Hetfield?

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
5 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa
Gumby's Left Nut
Gumby's Left Nut
5 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

James James Hetfield

Marcus Brandão
Marcus Brandão
5 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

Hahahahaha!!

John Non John
John Non John
5 years ago

Nobody likes John John. Even NonJohn doesn’t like John John. To be such an athlete athlete, he must certainly eat a lot of fish fish and whole grains grains with lots of fruit fruit and veggie veggies before he stretches stretches and surf surfs. John John is very white white. How does that qualify him as Hawaiian Hawaiian?

So many questions questions. NonJohn will have another drink drink after he presses post post.

janeausten
janeausten
5 years ago
Reply to  John Non John

HaHa

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  John Non John

I’ll give that a Two Johns Up!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

Next up dissects unrealistic pornography. Can’t wait.

astro
astro
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Next up – bexy bores us stupid with another of his imaginary conquests from yesteryear.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
Know what I mean?
I fuked a few bushys.
Usually kiwis.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago
Reply to  astro

You could have just stopped after “Bexy bores us.”


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