Scary.
Kai Lenny is a generational athlete. A specimen so rare that it is difficult for a mere mortal to take in and appreciate his vast talents in real time. We will need the history books to marvel, appropriately, at his feats. His big wave mastery, windsurfing, foil boarding even his dark passions like SUPping and befriending Mark Zuckerberg.
Well, he has, apparently, mastered another dark passion. Road cycling.
I see the road cyclists riding on the Pacific Coast Highway, often, dressed in brightly colored lycra rompers often marked with IPA beer brewers, taking up a full lane of traffic because it is somehow their right and, I’ll be honest, I fantasize about hitting them.
Like this.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CO-bCJZD7Cy/
Nothing overly violent, just a small tap.
I would not fantasize about hitting Kai Lenny, though, and he has recently opened up about his new passion in a wide-ranging interview that appears on Velo News. (Velo, of course, Italian for IPA).
He told the author:
“What’s cool about riding here is that, in surfing when you’re put into a position on big waves, you’re committed to the situation you’re in, there’s no time out. I think it’s good mental practice when you’re climbing up the mountain here, you’re not going to stop… It’s learning to love the hurt. I think there’s a translation there — it’s key to have endurance when you’re surfing all day.”
Sadistic. Kai Lenny harbors sadistic thoughts, no?
Later, in the same article I read:
“I wanted to ride on every single island and foil between them. It was logistically kind of a nightmare and expensive. The reality is, I’ve really only ridden on Maui. I’ve ridden a little in other places but not with an intention. I have friends on other islands who have road bikes, so I thought it would be cool to link with them and connect the communities in between. It’s a long way, close to five hundred miles. The total between ocean legs and miles on the bike is 460 miles total, so we had nicknamed it the Hawaii 500. As soon as you landed on the beach, you’d have to get on the bike. No relaxing. Either always pedaling or always pumping. Pedal to pump. Pray for the downhills or a big swell. The joke was we’d all need wheelchairs on the way home.”
I’ver seriously never even imagined anything so horrifying.
Learn more here, if you dare.
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Getting lost in the city or in the back hills on a bike brings back the pure childhood joy and adventure that many of us seek. Surfing is a seize the moment cancel everything get fucked I’m in the water kinda feeling. In surfing its usually pretty easy to paddle past most older and more experienced guys and girls but sucking wind with your legs on fire, numb hands and getting overtaken by a 70 year old man really puts you in your place/humbling. Also don’t be a fuck’n CUNT and obey traffic laws and stay in your fuck’n lane… You Will Not Beat A Car In An Argument.
Good cyclists only take the lane when it’s absolutely necessary. But think about some highways where if people do pass, someone’s going to put you in a ditch. 2 or 3 lug nuts from a junk to tyard taped to the bars will deal with the any true assholes in cars. A lug nut goes through a car windshield like a bullet. Just jump off for the fight. Don’t let them have the upper hand cause they’re in a car. Be a cool human when you ride, but fuck the idiot in a car who fucks with you.
Agreed, there is also the added bonus of a cyclist not being as denty as a motorcycle
Come on Kai we need your help progressing everything. Fashion yourself a sail on those 2 wheels and a retractable foil… that will essentially triple or quadruple the cost. The dads will flock with wet shorts at the sight of so much gear!
the inflatable carrot sail would work nicely. I am sure there us photo of it somewhere.
it appears everyone is assuming your comment is coming from a cyclists perspective. I am going topicture you as a driver who clipped a cyclist who ignored a red light or suddenly decided be a pedestrian and veered over a crossing.
The best thing Kai could do right now is go move to the Midwest and legally cut himself off from his wealth for a few years. See what it’s like to scrape along in a shitty service sector job if he’s lucky to get one. At least have an inkling of an idea of having little hope for the future.
See if he learns to love that pain.
Ahhh… for a second there I was hoping you’d suggest he’ll move to the Midwest and become the president of the World Cycle League.
Commuted 30 miles a day for 20 years. Screw helmets, decked out riders, stop signs and traffic lights. However, do not hinder vehicles when blowing through said traffic controls and always remember what every motorcycle rider learns eventually…YOU ARE INVISIBLE!
To be fair, the hardcore real road cyclists are as grumpy as we are.
That scene has been beset by VALs for longer than surfing has.
I don’t pretend to be one. I just commute a short distance. Still grumpy at all the idiots who drive like fuckwits. I don’t ask for much on the road. I stay out of the way for the most part unless I need to assert my place to merge heading towards an intersection.
Ride a unicycle, that’s impressive!
#gravil?
I’m 5for5 in Baja. But here in the States, too many cameras.
Such a big effort for an excuse to shave his legs
What really ‘hurts’, is every time the self absorbed Lenny puts up a new post, now that’s really painful.
Blood Feud!
I like to keep my big wave surfing, bjj, crossfit, golfing, biking, yoga and crypto investments to myself.
Your crypto needs jet ski assist right now
Can I joke about pissing on a field of kale?
Who is a bigger pain in the ass: cyclists or vegans?
Considering someone’s food choices don’t ruin my commute, or anything really, I’d say the answer is obvious.
10 points for lycra-clad bearded lane-hogging hipsters riding side by side
9 points for red light and stop sign violators
8 points for lane-snaking weavers
7 points for murfer moms with their baby carriers
6 points for hippies on push bikes headed for the food bank
5 points for the homeless Betty who lives under the freeway
4 points for the neighbor’s kid on a tricycle
3 points for plowing a crowd of bikers
2 points for any grom on a beach cruiser w/ board in hand
1 point for any idiot who thinks it’s safe riding on a highway
Triple points if any of the above are Jen See or Kai Lenny
>jk Jen, I’d never hit you, Kai maybe
20 points if it’s Chas delivering a cake
Jen, you know I’m hardly ever serious but I just want to emphasize your point with a personal story. A much beloved chiropractor from Maui who had been cracking my back for over 20 years was tragically killed by a motorist Christmas eve of 2019.
He was an accomplished athlete and waterman in top shape. Dr J lived in Kula and for years participated in the Cycle to the Sun up Haleakalā, 10,000 ft and 36 miles from start.
His triplet daughters were home for Christmas during their college graduation year and were at cooking at home with their mother and his wife while he took a short ride near Kula lodge. He was always super cautious and strict about bike safety. He was hit going downhill in a quiet rural area near Hapapa Rd when a truck turned left right in front of him. He flew and was dead on impact thru no fault of his own.
His patients were a who’s who of Maui and O’ahu watermen as well as many in the general Maui population. After 22 years he was a good close friend of mine and as much as it hurt his friends and patients, it was/is his wife and daughters that took the brunt of losing their father and husband. Driving/biking is serious business so put your fuckin’ phones down and keep your eyes on the road.
When I was a kid I’d ride to school and hop on and off the path when it suited. Thought it was so clever. Turns out I was the one who hit the cars as they came out their drive or pulled out and didn’t see me zipping around. Still hurt the same but it was my fault lol
Tall guy that drove a brown/gold Prerunner who had an office in Kahului?
About 6’3. he did have an office later in Kahului too but his main office was in Pukalani
https://www.mauinews.com/ne…
How many points if said biker launches from the back of his Sprinter van?
As Longtom suggests, read The Rider by Crabbe.
aye. few books have found the soul of cycling like that lil Cevennes beauty!
Road bikes are worse than SUPs, goat boats, kayaks, and foils combined.
I have to disagree, I have never had a cyclists flounder in the way on a perfect section.
I’ve had one put a dent in my Land Cruiser at a traffic light. Got out and taco’d the cunts wheel while he was clipped in and he keeled over and smacked his head. They’re too fucken arrogant. It’s not even exercise unless you ride for 12 hours. Half of them are obese.
wearing lycra doesn’t help conceal the rolls,
True, but the road bikers fill me with a higher level of rage somehow
Lance Armstrong has often mentioned that as a road biker, it’s not a matter of IF you will get hit by a car, it’s when and how bad will the outcome be.
People often told
lance that as a drug cheat it’s not a matter of IF you will get caught, it’s when !