Hammer thrown.
Two days. Surfing’s grand Olympic debut is merely two days away and the world press is practically stumbling over itself in trying to cover, essentially falling in love with our brave water sliders. Oh, it was inevitable as the narrative is just too delicious. The great Duke Kahanamoku advocating for surfing’s inclusion over 100 years ago, young and tan and fit youth radiating vitality to a pandemic stricken public, the vestiges of an enviable lifestyle doggedly holding firm.
Yes, falling in love and as I boldly predicted at the beginning of the month, one surfer will emerge as a superstar, known and adored by the general public a la snowboarding’s Shaun White.
The early frontrunner was, of course, Kanoa Igarashi who is Japanese-by-way-of-Huntington-Beach, speaks-ish the language and is exceedingly handsome. His stock was recently improved by an almost humanizing profile in Outside magazine.
In a savvy move, however, Kolohe Andino hired the very firm that made Shaun White Shaun White and has been delivering folksy metaphors to The New York Times.
A wild battle of personal brands but wait, Hawaii’s Carissa Moore has entered the ring and just thrown an absolute hammer.
Reuters is reporting that the 4x World Champion delivered a message in Japanese to the small town that hosted them before moving to the official venue saying, “We love Makinohara, the waves were a little small, but the beach was beautiful and we had a lot of fun. The hotel, food, beach, and waves were all wonderful, and the people of Makinohara have kindly shown us hospitality. We are truly thankful.”
She then gifted the town’s mayor, Kikuo Sugimoto, with a jar of banana nut butter made by her husband’s business.
I’ll be frank, the smart money should have been on Moore from the very beginning. Nobody doesn’t love ‘Rissa, as the saying goes and with this cunning move, I’d have to say she noses ahead of both Kolohe and Kanoa, who is currently running a surprising third.
Two days.
Will the situation change in those two days?
A Brazilian or Italian or French surfer entering the wild battle of personal brands?
Moore as the story develops.
Pure class, pure aloha! Best of luck team USA.
Ban Nana Butter:
When you have to stop your kids’ granny from eating the yummy dairy grease.
The waves were a little small but the waves were wonderful. Like a walking talking oxymoron – straight out of the wozzle playbook.. Onya Riss!
there they are! the two valley girrrlsss…? gossipping agaaain…?
It’s the year for the Italians! They won the Euros, more importantly they won the Eurovision with a cracking song, and now it’s time for Leonardo, who only scraped in through Jordy’s withdrawal. Forza Italia!
Moore as the story develops.
I feel like the article was written backwards from that sentence
Is ‘banana nut butter’ the same as ‘meat & 2 veg cream’ ?
P.S.
If so, is it appropriate for Carissa to give the mayor a load of her husband’s ‘business’ ?
A jar of cum is a very respectful and highly prized gift in Japan,
Carissa no slouch on a couch….
She nailz brah.
We’re going to get the same article about Caroline Marks within a day or two.
Met Clarissa once at Pipe. I did not know who she was. She was super nice and kind. She seems very genuine other than talented. She is my kind of champion. Go for the gold!
This isn’t inertia.
Don’t scare off the only other female commenter!
Inertia is boooooring, but that day Carissa was the best in the water…. and SHE IS NICE, capisce?
Right. The best at Pipe…
heyyy Juliana. I likey your style. What say we ditch this homo erotic sausage fest and go get ourselves a coupla spam musubis?
What better than TC on the pipe , farkin doubt it .
I think Carrisa is going to win the battle of the Americans then get taken out in the final by Sally Fitz with a pack of VB and a meat pie.
The question is did she surf the pool? Not sure how you could have missed this intriguing part of the story Chas. The People want to know.
Thats where the Americans have been surfing. Both her and Kolohe and John John posted pool waves on their IG’s. The contest site has been been about knee high at best.
Well, if they run the train at half speed, you could knock out knee-high waves to order.
They had it cranked up to full blast so it was the regular waist high waves.
Is Bond University a good college?
It’s developing. Started out as the place rich kids went when they didn’t get the required scores to enter on merit. But now seems to have gained a bit more credibility through a sporting scholarship program applying to a wide range of sports. Has definitely improved image wise over the past 10 years.
I started physical therapy with an American that got Doctorate of Physiotherapy there. It’s a two year degree. His LinkedIn page says he worked for a year at a place in Mermaid Beach then for a year at a place in Southport, then for five months in Wanaka NZ, then for seven months in Melbourne. Now he is in the SF Bay Area.
Kind of a sketchy history. I’m not sure he knows what he’s doing.
It was one of, if not the first, pay up-front higher learning institutions. It was dodgy as all fuck to start, but the vibe I get now is that they had to improve standards to a more academic level.
I mean the place was named/started up by one of Australia’s dodgiest businessman ever. The bloke who financed the America’s Cup win back in the 80s. Bond. Alan Bond. Real piece of shit/work.
Thanks for the info, I appreciate it.
Don’t sleep on Jezza. The guy is already buzzing around giving interviews, knowing full well he’s a winner, promoting his moves to come following the success of him surfing in the Olympics!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Reserving your choke-hold for next years Surfer Poll Awards?
its a shame Joan Duru got screwed on qualifying. he could have charmed the villagers by punching himself in the face. I see your nut butter and raise you an uppercut.
Kamikaze.
The battle of the “brands” should have it’s own chyron at the top of the BG page.
Next up, Leandro Usuna steals the limelight with his sommelier skills by pairing asado and sweet breads with a tasty Malbec.
Is banana nut butter the sweaty liquid that forms in the part between your dick and balls?
banana butt nutter
Once again a perfect example of how your parents have failed society.
What’s the latest from Surfline? 17.5ft faces with a chance of genetic mutations?
what is “Banana nut”? and chas how did u not get a press pass to the greatest event in surfing history (outside of the cocaine travails) ??