Echoes of WH Auden’s The Platonic Blow…
A little light relief from the desk of Joan Duru, the prematurely weathered French surfer who won the Olympic qualifying event in El Salvador but not enough, perversely, to get him onto the French Olympic team.
Now, in a saucy post to his retiring countryman Jeremy Flores, Duru has, in a metaphorical sense, opened his fly, a ten-inch monster lunging from the lair as Flores’ bottom lip trembles uncontrollably.
Writing on Instagram,
Félicitation pour ta carrière incroyable !
T’as gagné les meilleurs compets pipe teahupo et à la France 🇫🇷 !
Bravo et merci d’avoir poussé toute une génération française en arrivant avec un niveau de fou!
Bravo le fou va falloir fêter ça maintenant
Hit the translate button and,
Congratulations on your amazing career! You won the best blowjob Teahupoo competitions and France! Well done etc.
Accidental? A coded message? Freudian?
Very reminiscent of Auden’s The Platonic Blow, which you can, and should, read here.
A sample passage,
By soundless bounds it extended and distended, by quick
Great leaps it rose, it flushed, it rushed to its full size.
Nearly nine inches long and three inches thick,
A royal column ineffably solemn and wise.
I tested its length and strength with a manual squeeze,
I bunched my fingers and twirled them about the knob,
I stroked it from top to bottom. I got on my knees.
I lowered my head. I opened my mouth for the job.
More as the story grows…
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
…and this is why you should not use Google Translate.
“compets pipe” means nothing sexual here
Its all about the groupies and if you dont understand then you have never been behind the pros “green door” .
I mean Joan Duru’s post
Joan Duru must be talking about a pre-Kanoa Igarashi tour
Really, Derekt
Nearly 100 sq inches – impressive…
This article threatens my sexuality and masculinity. Jokes, nice way to shoo away the closeted homos. Keep it up.
Derek, your considerable (and quite unique) talents really are wasted in the surf industry.
CMM:
Are you suggesting his potentially stellar career as a “fluffer” on porn shoots?
I was thinking more script writer or director, but I’d imagine he might like to flit from role to role.
Sagacious and prescient
Not a link to the Instagram post? But to the homoerotic poem you have 🙄
Duru…..robbed! With that much heart probs would’ve got gold…at least bronze, the coke can width is something else?!..Always thought Jezza was a mad unit…so glad to hear him got lady luck! ( Miss Polynesia ) He ( hopefully ) ain’t smoking no flesh cigar!
The translator clearly sucks, but does it swallow?
Im a bit more concerned by the guy who can reference an (homo?)erotic poem with such ease, than I am by the initial post.
I reckon coming across a 9 by 3 inch rod would leave an impression on anyone.
I’d like to know who Negatron’s secret Instagram message is from
Probably Ben Marcus explaining how much better Kelly is at giving BJ’s at Chopes
Almost definitely Ben.
Lets drop the modifier/qualifier. We know its Ben-Gay Hur
Lol, the dudes master trolling of BG commenters insecurities is great!
I’m surprised how many of you guys fall for it