A new and improved Richard Gere.
Yesterday, after The Ultimate Surfer’s premier, it was revealed that voice of professional surfing Joe Turpel will be the breakout star. Sitting there, behind a desk, wearing his classic short-sleeved Hawaiian button-up, skin buttery tan, chestnut hair coiffed around headphone microphone combination, blue eyes flashing, voice pure single batch Mrs. Butterworth syrup, Turpel’s ascendancy is undeniable and he will soon be everywhere.
Today, after episode two titled A Whole Heap of Chick Drama, it has been made clear that surfing’s most beautiful boy, Luke Davis, will join him on a collision course with fame, fortune, a likely sex scandal splashed over the front pages of New York, Paris, London’s most scintillating tabloid newspapers.
I missed the the vast majority of the airing, as I was caught up booking a hotel in Nashville, Tennessee for an upcoming jaunt, but know without a shadow of doubt that Davis will exit Lemoore a leading man.
The Ultimate Surfer is, let’s be honest, schmaltzy reflecting executive producer Erik Logan’s preferred aesthetic but the schmaltz doesn’t stick to Davis. He appears both in on the joke without being ungracious. Head of sand-colored hair so thick as to defy physics. Eyes mischievous yet warm.
A fine tightrope which leads directly to important roles in Hollywood romantic comedies.
A new and improved Richard Gere.
I texted Davis and told him that his future was set. He replied, “Hahaha I just want to get barreled.”
There will be limited time for barreling, though, when rehearsing lines across from America’s sweetheart Jennifer Anniston. Less time when hiding in a bungalow waiting for the paparazzi to leave.
Bravo.
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Yeah he’s not the only one.
You should hear the filth that my own mutt has been whispering to me here in lockdown.
I’m going to need to book it into a therapist to work through it’s anger issues.
Rumor has it that when he’s knocked from US, he tries to bite through the sleigh cable!
Luke be prepping for a cameo on Byron Baes. Watch out for special cameo from LT as Luke steps off the bus
Was Chopes canceled so ‘all eyes’ would be on Ultimate Surfer?
Dana and Kelly’s conspiracy? Hmm.
Beach dick is determined to push this dead dog of a show?
DavesDick don’t approve of Beach dick?
I just love the cock
You do realise that at the end of that book, the dude ends up realizing that he does in fact enjoy the proffered substance?
I’m just concerned that you might be using the wrong literary reference.
Definite Busey vibes, but if they ever re-make Big Wednesday, I’ll lose it.
I think with the dork factor dialled up to 11, Davis will be shite-stained for lyfe.
Hit the eject Lukey .
I like your reports haha
That’s the most I’ll suck up to you
Clean streaming link for those outside of the States… https://www.primewire.li/tv… https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Click on the little magnified symbol.
The Ultimate linker
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I’m most enthralled by your excuses for not watching.
Episode 3: the paralympics opening ceremony was on
You know what to do Luke. You’ve been here before.
(singing)
“It’s gonna take a montage!”
(backup singers)
“Montaaage!”
https://youtu.be/fR7jWnK2BS4
What a masterpiece of a movie. Always fade out in a montage!
Also, “Durka durka. Mohammad, jihad.”
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Sherpa sherpa dirk Allah
“oh, dirka dirka, dirka? Mohammad, inshalla”
Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes – assholes who just want to shit on everything……………………..
Haka sherpa sherpa bak Allah
It appears from the comments about Jen’s reports, that the majority of BGers haven’t watched this shit show, so wouldn’t have a clue who this is and care even less about it than Kelly’s new job.
On a slightly less interesting subject…
Are you going to Nashville to try your hand at becoming a country music star ?
If you crack it on the big stage will you get Kelly to play in your backing band ?
He has already promised that job to Wilko
[Wilco]
You’ve really got a bee in your bonnet over all this. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hahaha nah, just stating a fact, it’s obvious after a quick browse of the comments that most of us haven’t seen it and don’t intend to.
Personally I’m more interested in Chazzies impending country music career.
Perhaps he could do a duet with Joe Turdpull, their annoyingly whiny nasal twangs might harmonically blend into a perfect sound for the genre, I just hope they don’t get Kel to back them and ruin it…
it really does have a certain “fall of the Roman Empire” stink to it though.
You watch it? It’s certainly the start of the end of Joe Turpels career.
Just think – we coulda been watching 8ft bombs at Chopes right now..
Cruel world. Fuck.
Outta curiosity, would you watch a live stream of 8ft bombing Chopes if it was just a bunch of the Tahitian locals and Hawaiian fly-ins (as amazing as they all undoubtedly are)?
I wouldn’t. Don’t really care much for seeing Kauli Vaast or Raimana gettingg shacked off their noggins on Chopes heavers. Must be the drama of competition and man on man pressure and shit that keeps me interested in the wozzle….
Or those that are not known for hucking over the ledge having a crack. That’s always fun.