“Fucking life is so serious,” says Jonah Hill, Hollywood funny man and Malibu local. “I want to have a good time and smile.”
The man who put the V in VAL, Jonah Hill, famous for playing sexless butterballs in a series of box-office hits including Get Him to the Greek where he shelves alpha rock star Russell Brand’s heroin inside his ass, has appeared in a Gentleman’s Quarterly video promoting the obscure Byron Bay softboard brand 88.
Hill, who is thirty-seven and a surf veteran of two years, and who recently became a Malibu local after buying a nine-million dollar house there, counts the 88 sled, which he’s named Ron Burgundy, as one of the ten things he can’t live without.
Here, a movie made by 88 featuring Hill on his Ron.
“Fucking life is so serious,” says Hill. “I want to have a good time and smile.”
Hill’s three other essential surf items include green Sex Wax, “Green’s my favourite colour and it smells good, which is, like, I like smell”, a “Surf Jew” sticker that serves as an ironic punch in the nose to Malibu’s traditional Nazi-punk culture and a Japanese-made Axxe “Classic” long-john wetsuit.
“A great tank-top style,” says Hill. “So sick.”
Or,
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We all know Surfing gets and keeps you healthy, Hill never looked so good despite apparently no upper body strength, and you blahlahs have a great physique to look forward to when you’re a geezer too and trust me it is so much better than the alternative you truly will not regret one day of it.
I resemble that remark!
Serious qwuestion: what is the point of a soft top if it’s simply a glassed eps board wrapped in a bubble wrap top and a plastic skin bottom? Picked up a few, they seemed bulky and heavy for size: I left perplexed. Once damaged the repair must be more complicated, no?
What the!!???!! Mr. Zoggs over FU Wax! What a kook. Val 101 “Italo’s hair and wax but kooky soft board for safety”. Who the hell is mentoring these guys? Probably was into neon sticky bumps until there was that shortage last summer. Let’s do better as a community and get these Vals squared away before they go all Zuck on us.
Those 88 videos are made by Jack Coleman. Good stuff… @jack_colemang
Looks like Surfline Man’s chubby cousin.
Fuck yeah Jonah
Hard to hate, isn’t he.
Shout out to everyone who got tattoos before it was cool, who started surfing before it was cool, and said shout out before it was cool
Would that mean starting surfing in about 1952?
He’s really persistent eh.wonder if he’ll switch to a short board any time?
Surely he’d transition to mid-length or a fish to stay on brand?
Haha of course.
Dunno how I mangled the stages so badly!
Love this so much. Dude gets it.
Ok Derek, truth circle time. How many times did you jizz through that essentials vid? 100% that is the Jonah hill version of a ‘try not to cum challenge’ vid that my friends tell me about.
There was a skate brand back in the day that went by “88” and it was very anti-jew. In fact it was and ode to aryan’s that use “88” to represent HH, or heil hitler. Something to ponder.
I figured that was part of the whole thing. 88 board with “surf jew” sticker. Maybe that’s giving them too much brain credit though.
Peter Hewitt
I thought 88 was the diameter of the wheels in mm, I still have a set of rocket 88s on my old gonz IV.
stacking clips! in all honesty, that was the most interesting surf video outside of chapter 11’s offerings. if anybody can get me the contact info for both the shaper and the wetsuit-tailor of that one dude on the 9’6″, well that’d be fucking tops.
The number 88 and Judaism make strange bedfellows.
Indeed.
Any news on when he’s taking up Jew-jitsu lessons with the sartorially elegant Joel Turdo to help fight off potential surf bullies ?
P.S.
88 (HH) is the well known symbol of the notorious Head Hunters MC gang, who happen to be hard drug dealing murderers with an affinity for anything Nazi…
I remember when I was in High School a skinhead showing me his bible, ’88 Psalms’. Seems to be associated with the White Power stuff.
Peachy keen jellybean.
Yep, watched for a minute that vid, and it was exactly as I figured .
The kookpacolypse is here.
*respect his ‘good time and smile’ shit, tho
does JH not even read Beachgrit, ffs?
https://beachgrit.com/2020/…
I know, like, sheesh, right?
37 now… perhaps in three years he may be a average beachgrit enthusiast 😳
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Apropos of nothing, latest numbers in from WSL v BeachGrit popularity among surfers contest. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I’m very disappointed the 7 hours a day I spend at Beachgrit didn’t push that visit duration stat over the one minute mark.
Most of us lube and yank in less than 1 minute. And 200K of those visits are from Bexy.
Nice of you to think of me and pulling yself at the same time
I do that when i need to shrink down.
Yikes!!
i find that 45 second average visit duration a little weird. most fun part of BG are the comments. I wonder what’s keeping it so low, millions of “REFRESH” looking for a new article (and consequently a new comment thread)?
I think Derek and Chas have worked the algorithms (and from the share volume of content they’ve created) so that every time someone googles surfing, a Beachgrit link pops up.
45 seconds in they realise Beachgrit isn’t what they were after…
That just shows that a shit load of us spend more time trying to navigate between stories and comments than actually reading, due to disqus etc faults and/or our own computing equipment and user techniques…hehe
P.S.
Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that I read it all on my business laptop but comment on it on my personal phone, cos I don’t want to log in to anything other than official shit like the bank etc on the laptop.
So I actually count twice on every statistic you have, and I doubt I’m the only one doing this…
Excellent 1.61 pages today.
That :45 second duration is crazy short. So, this is what, like 90% Disqus-based? (Not a criticism, I’m sorta in awe).
I don’t get math. But I know for sure the regular visitor/commenting cunts round here spend way more than 45 seconds loitering.
It’s not uncommon for “news” style sites that get a reasonable amount of visitors. It’s likely there will be a lot of visitors who arrive from Google from random searches that browse the article and bail after 1-2 pages.
So 90% of those visits probably don’t even read past the first sentence of an article.
Possibly when they realise that Great white sharks haven’t eaten a Coffey sister who was trying to surf away the impacts of her covid (which is obviously a leftist hoax).