“What was still terrifying though is you could still see in the video one of the sharks was very interested in him and continued to follow him."

A kid from Brevard County, Florida, had the hell scared out of him, twice, during a surf contest at Satellite Beach on Saturday when he was surrounded by a bait ball and two sharks, “submarines”, moved in, 

Tanner Brasol was shredding in the Gnarly Charley’s GROM Surfing Series competition when “my heart stopped,” his mom Kelly Brasol told local TV. 

“It was like a scene from a movie, almost like two submarines coming up and you see the dorsal fins and then the next thing you know it’s like (Kelly makes wild splashing noise) all over right behind Tanner; you just see the thrashing and the dorsal fins and the tails and the fish scattering and Tanner is just sitting there in the middle of it and you just see him freeze.”

The video, here, shows the latter part of the encounter once he’d got out of the bait ball and figured he was okay until a smaller shark came in for a whiff of the kid. 

“What was still terrifying though is you could still see in the video one of the sharks was very interested in him and continued to follow him,” said mom.

Contest organisers got the kids outta the water, waited for the bait ball to clear, checked to see if the sharks had moved on and got the rippers back into their heats. 

Tanner, who’s only been surfing for eighteen months but has pretty wild skills, wasn’t super keen on diving back into the water but figured, life’s short, yeah? 

“If you stay calm around sharks they won’t attack. Keep your feet and hands out of the water,” he said. “I didn’t want to get knocked out and I knew I was not gonna get bit. It’s just not that common to get bit. The sharks they’re not after you; they’re more scared of humans.”

An interesting theory and best not tested, at least in Australian water. 

“Those guys are multi-multi-millionaires, billionaires, so this has nothing to do with not coming to Kauai."

Yesterday, it was reported the Hawaiian surf legend and noted enforcer Kamalei Alexander’s had issued an ominous warning to foilboarders using the Nā Pali coast as the backdrop to photos, their narcissism pushing house prices into the stratosphere, locals forced out of homes etc. 

The warning was an apparent swipe at the world’s fifth-richest man and founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg who owns 1300 acres on the island, and who, along with guy-pal Kai Lenny, has made the sixteen-mile stretch on Kauai’s north-west coast a regular setting for their foiling adventures.

Read, “World’s fifth-richest man Mark Zuckerberg caught enjoying e-foil life with mystery woman off his 1300 acre Kauai plot; accused of ‘colonising’ the island!” and “In extremely controversial move, Facebook founder and billionaire Mark Zuckerberg emerges from quarantine donning ‘white-face’ on an electric foil!” and “Watch: Facebook founder, CEO, fifth-richest person in the world Mark Zuckerberg posts humblebrag video e-foiling in Hawaii, shouts out bestie Kai Lenny!”

Today, Kamalei, younger brother of Kala, and a peer of Andy and Bruce Irons, a shredder from two-to-twenty feet, has appeared to double-down on the threat while clarifying his position on visitors to the island. 

Some commenters, it seems, had taken his initial post as an anti-visitor screed.

Wrote one, “You made your mark exploiting the islands beauty now want to keep others out.. it’s amazing how many people I see in your thread saying assault is justified to protect a surf break for the locals… surf culture becoming toxic because of this exclusive garbage.. I grew up 5 min from silver strand and got in numerous fights because locals jump anyone who they deem unworth of ‘their break’ great culture to spread.. super aloha.”

“Pertaining to my post the other day. If you guys take your ego and your pride or whatever the fuck you’re drinking out of what I said, and listen to what I… said… was that with cases like Nā Pali, guys that are posting the videos of them foiling down there. 

“Do they need to do that? 

“Last time I checked, those guys are multi-multi-millionaires, if not billionaires, so this has nothing to do with not coming to Kauai. My mom is from Detroit, Michigan. I don’t blame a motherfucking soul for moving here. Not one. 

“It’s just, do you need to sell those drugs? If you do, then you fucking sell drugs. But if you don’t, then you don’t.”

He has a point. 

One of the great miracles of America, of the world, is the North Shore of Oahu’s ability to retain its vestige of country, fending off unbelievable developer pressure, with all its money and political muscle, thanks to what y’might call a sharp localism. 

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to loose the hounds on Kauai.

Blessed are not the meek, despite what Matt might’ve said in the Gospels, for they won’t inherit a damn thing.

The great landowners are always going to be the Zucks, the Ziffs and so on.

Or am I wrong?