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See the heart-warming moment a surfer slows down to let an out-of-shape cop catch him, and slug him $300, for flouting New Zealand’s tough no-surfing rules!

Iron fist comes down on Kiwi surfers!

Less than one month ago, New Zealand, a little island paradise to the east of Australia and uninhabited by humans for most of its history, used the COVID pandemic to shut down out-of-towners and kooks as part of its Level 4 lockdown restrictions. 

The much-touted VAL revolution, championed by the WSL and counting Jonah Hill as its patron saint, was suddenly benched by Jacinda Arden’s leftist regime. It was a surprising move for a government whose progressive bona fides are beyond any sorta reproach, Marxist at heart if not practice. 

Currently the little island nation is under tough “Alert 4 level” restrictions as it battles what is, viewed through a worldwide perspective, a minor hit of the bug. 

All surfing practised by inexperienced surfers, banned, and shredders required to stay at their local wave. As well, outer-reef sessions are forbidden as restrictions remind surfers to “stay within 200 metres of the shore.” 

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But what is life if you can’t laugh at it, am I right? 

Yesterday, BeachGrit reader Andrew Mitchell sent a heart-warming short, filmed by his pal Mark Sharrock, of a surfer at Maori Bay near Auckland, allowing an out-of-shape cop to catch him for flouting the emergency law. 

The man was fined three-hundred dollars, and he ain’t alone, plenty of people have been getting stung for shredding, although, as Michell pointed out, “it’s still cheaper than a wave pool.” 

See the moment a surfer slows to let a cop catch him for flouting New Zealand’s no-surfing rules!

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jpchiesa

That nation is gripped by insanity caused by stupidity.

adolph putler

Over here on beachshit.com mofos ain’t joking about the shit aspect.

“out of shape” gtfoh, dude going nowhere was straight up busted

Simon Says

Lock downs warm hearts over at Surfline!

Terence Hogben

I think the surfer slowed down because he was tired and the cop was going to catch him anyway.

kermit

looks like the cop is in better shape than that kid.

Obama

Hey at least the left isn’t a bunch of retards who listen to the my pillow guy talk about election fraud…. and then actually believe it. You guys are honestly just a bunch of conservative idiots, who can barely write a complete sentence. Go drink bleach!

Simsurf

Who hurt you

AlefNull

Lick boot much?

Bbhoko

From the looks of it copper was catching up and surfer bro gave up lol

ValiantScorn

You can’t surf? Sounds like a bitch story!

Stick man

Bitch Grit

nyc surfing golden boy

were are your balls you kiwi bitches? never met a haole kiwi that had any nuts. these cops are fuken gay. at least the aussies are fighting back

Piskian

I need one of those sirens

AI (for ever) .

Dr are you sure the surfer wasn’t koby and he just got really tired like?

The bra boy can’t even do more than 15 pushups so the cops may have had set him up by having him walk up a little hill and puff him out?

P.s are you going to report on koby pathetic time on SAS Australia or are you going continue to run scared from the biggest pro surfer story in the country atm?
Wondering if chas can’t step up ?
But his likely intimidated as well?

Gil Gunderson

My wife: ‘How come Koby has trouble taking directions from authority figures and listening to simple instructions?’

Me: ‘Hahahahahahahahahabaha you’re funny hun.’

big nutz

Laughing at Jacinda being called “leftist” & “Marxist”—her kinda shit’s much nearer to the milquetoast center don’t ya know.

Also, tripping on Melbourne. Makes this seppo concerned about a forthcoming American edition.

J H

I mean…it’s a good thing 5-0 is focusing on the real criminality of The ‘Rona:

https://www.cnn.com/travel/…

Travis Edgar

Imagine being a cop?…so shit hey…what a bunch of douches they are!….Fuck the Police.

snapper

On a slight deviation from SharkGrit Magazine….that was a really boring vid drop.

Mads Naeraa

Dez, just some NZ Lockdown facts for the non-Kiwi crew:

Auckland has been under Alert Level 4 for 5 weeks, which means NO FUCKEN SURFING because surfing bad – obviously. They get to go surfing from Wednesday morning.

The rest of us went to Level 3 a few weeks ago, where you can surf but not travel between regions. Now at Level 2, which is slightly looser, but still a dick in the guts for the hospo industry and plenty others.

The Bitchy Crab

Ah, yeah, soz. So many rules I got confused.

J H

If you work under the assumption that all of the “rules” are dumb then you won’t get confused.

PRN

Laugh at it? We should be up in arms! Trust me… we will be up in arms. Unless you’re a good nazi and go to the dark side.

Boat Docks

Takes arms to be up in them

PRN

When govt stops serving the people and starts ruling the people, it must be destroyed. When it becomes unresponsive to the needs of the people and is primarily a source of oppression and burden, it must be eradicated.

Hot stuff

I don’t have the footage of the ch7 reporter getting piss thrown in his face today in Melb, but I got this
https://youtu.be/MpuSIAdVx98

@surfads

Sounds like a who’s who of the anti vax movement doing a false flag protest in Melb currently. Funny seeing them when they actually faced off with the true CFMEU crew. Would not fuck with those cunts

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

It’s the dawn of a modern union golden era. We might see some good murders etc. from here on. I would rather throw a hand grenade into Hell’s Angels headquarters than CFMEU’s. Though it’s probably mostly the same cunts anyway.

@surfads

John Setka makes Jimmy Hoffa look like Ned Flanders in comparison

Return of the Samsung Board

RDO neighbourino

turts

If I’m ever diagnosed with incurable cancer, I’ll sell all my possessions, spend it all on hand grenades, and go around throwing them into the head quarters of different bikies.
That’s of course if Covid restrictions allow it.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

If we only knew when our last day would be we could achieve so much in this world. Still – I don’t wanna know.

Hot stuff

The Vic govt now let’s you choose you’re own date and time to die via New assisted dying laws.
In the meantime mask up stay home and slam some vaxx into yself,

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

Haha mate they can inject me with their cum and listen to my thoughts forever. I don’t give a fuck so long as can get back out in a boat in Indo. Get vaccinated brother.

Hot stuff

May all your wishes cum true

Lemon Next to the Pie

Queensland too. The vote got passed in the last week or two. You will have to hang on for another year or two before it comes into effect.

Interesting footnote; I got banned from my local (LNP) reps social media for asking which side he was voting for in the (conscience) vote. Seems that even having an 80% support for VAD in the community was enough for him to at least need to pretend that he was still on the side of the 20%.

Hot stuff

Don’t kill yself, do kill yself, people be on drugs

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Inspiring!

Lemon Next to the Pie

Used to work in a skateboard facility in a warehouse area that backed on to one that was a clubhouse for a bikie gang. Made a point of being more than reasonable with them, for obvious reasons, but also because these guys were the best security system possible. Had a few quiet beers in the evening after we shut up with Cheap Trick’s Live at Budukan album playing in the background. My interests were totally vested in staying on their good side though…

turts

They were probably sounding you out to see if you’d make a good mule

Lemon Next to the Pie

I was a long haired skater boy. They said see you later boy.

I was more likely to get pulled over by the cops than they were. I liked to think we got on because we were both outsiders, but I think it was more likely they were checking me out to see if I would blab about the goings on over the back fence.

@surfads

Good to see you made it to the protest https://www.instagram.com/p…

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

Na couldn’t be me. I would’ve been sniffing amyl to keep me loose.

Hot stuff

Qunion
Tradies trashin the union HQ
What a riot!!

Pauly Matt War-Shore

It’s been pretty crook watching all this today, especially because of those reasons.

https://www.instagram.com/s…

Hot stuff

It’s terrific stuff
Tradies to the rescue!!
Spin it till you’re dizzy, they both know what they don’t want

@surfads

Yeah some heavy footage coming out. That one is insane

adolph putler

Damn player into golden shit, very pervy.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

Hahaha this reminds of the time me and a mate were surfing a spot down here which was “illegal” to go into years ago. We watched this Parks Victoria fuckwit sit up in the bushes watching us for over 2 hours. He thought we hadn’t noticed him but he looked like that poacher cunt from Jumanji so he was pretty hard to miss. Tide changed and we couldn’t sit out there any longer so we came in. The poacher ran up to us telling us to sit down and started trying to radio another ranger to call the police for him. My mate grabbed his radio and launched it about 25 metres into the water. I can still hear the poacher squealing “dooonntttttt-ah” as the radio plonked in the drink. Told him to get fucked and started walking back to where we had stashed our bikes and then laughed all the way home. Never heard anything from the cops or Parks Victoria over it. The lesson here is that you shouldn’t stop unless they’re gonna shoot ya. Then it depends how far away they are.

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Every one of your posts is a lesson for me. Thanks.

adolph putler

Proudly dumb AF.

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Namaste

adolph putler

Blabbering blowhard and insecure juvvy reporting for common f’en idiot duty.

AlefNull

Best advice to all.

Stanislav Franck

I’m all for finessing the truth to get the click’o’meter firing so Beach Grit can survive another day, but fuck me Derek. That surfer nearly fell over 20 steps in and then almost keeled over at the end of the vid and had to sit down and suck in the big ones. Hill wasn’t exactly a lungbuster. Cunt should be put into isolation and held there until he can up his fitness game somewhat. And you should join him Reilly for such fanciful reporting of facts.

omlete

Deceptively steep hill that one.

Dogsnuts

Do better next time mate. Poor excuse.

Trev

Very steep. It’s a bitch of a walk after a long surf

Stick man

A Jonah Hill…

The Bitchy Crab

I stand by my initial observation. Man stops in passive genital display to huffing cop.

belchfire

there would have been another cop at the top out of frame DR.

level 3 as of this morning
the bay will swamped with every man and his dog frothing. the car parks at all the west coast beaches are closed to stop people mingling so the roads will be clogged with cars double parked. a full on cluster fuck on Auckland’s west coast today.luckly im at home playing teacher because this don’t go back till level 2.

Beef & Beer

That ain’t no bloody surfer.
Little poof should be ashamed of himself for stopping for the cops like that.
Ban him from all beaches worldwide !

Otto

The cunt doesn’t deserve a proper flushin’ dunny. We need a hitman for this. Well, not a hitMAN cause a dunny ain’t a man. We need a hitdunnyman Yeah, that’s who should visit the buggar. Know a good hitdunnyman who’s got the know-all to fuck his shit up?

adolph putler

Dang you bitches are straight thugs. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Otto

The Beach Grit Comments Moderator is our In-House Hitdunnyman. Helps keep our operating costs down.

Occ Topus

Send this poof and his like to SoCal. They’d be right at home. It’s Sissy Surfer Central.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style

Strongly agree

adolph putler

Derp

adolph putler

Poof? Sissy central? Incel jackass sit TF down.


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