@italoferreira
@italoferreira

But it is incumbent upon professional surf fans everywhere to pause and ponder the transformation of Olympic gold medalist Italo Ferreira from simple caterpillar to sublime butterfly!

Chas Smith

By Chas Smith

Inspirational.

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Pleased with reflection or resigned to the arc having given up on ever changing what is, what has been?

For shame, if acquiescent, and we only have to turn our eyes to two-time world champion, Olympic gold medalist Italo Ferreira to see there is more. To know that each and every one of us can crawl into a cocoon and re-emerge so beautiful as to burn envious eyes.

But do you remember when the plucky Brazilian burst onto our horizon not even very long ago, when Kelly Slater was still an old man?

Oh he surfed phenomenally but looked… unassuming, workmanlike, plumber-esque like he didn’t care about facade only about packing ridiculous tubes, sticking ridiculous airs. A pleasure to behold, no doubt, but Ferreira has decided to double down upon that pleasure by making teeth gleam, making hair shimmer, making pecs and abs and buttocks explode.

Have you not visited his Instagram account?

For shame, for it smolders and should serve as hot coals upon your own head.

If Ferreira can transform from caterpillar to butterfly can’t you?

Shouldn’t you?

Ridiculous tubes, airs, are out of the question, in all honesty. Being really, really, really ridiculously good looking still in the cards.

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
"I'm on top of the world!"
"I'm on top of the world!"

World’s greatest race car driver Lewis Hamilton takes page from “foil king” Mark Zuckerberg’s book, blissfully glides off coast of Brazil to chill Fleetwood Mac tune!

Chas Smith

By Chas Smith

Influencer.

When a young Mark Zuckerberg sat lonely in his Harvard dormitory room, perving-adjacent on the girls in his school and creating the social media behemoth Meta neé Facebook, do you think he dreamed he’d one day be an influencer?

Oh, of course people weren’t called “influencers” back then, they were called “influential” but do you think Zuckerberg dreamed people would one day copy his schtick?

Like, very wealthy and talented people like the world’s greatest race car driver Lewis Hamilton?

Hamilton, who was recently in Brazil for an F1 race, pulled a page straight out of Zuckerberg’s Facebook, acquired the apocalypse’s “must-have” accessory, and went e-foiling off the coast, filming self set to the very chill Fleetwood Mac tune “Dreams.”

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Lewis Hamilton (@lewishamilton)

Very 4th of July John Denver.

But is a lightly older Mark Zuckerberg now sitting surrounded by servants wearing grass skirts and leis in his Kauai compound giggling like an evil nerd?

He should be.

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
"Lemme heal you."
"Lemme heal you."

Multiple tagged Great White sharks force closure of iconic Western Australian beaches only one week after swimmer killed by Great White thirty metres from shore! “They are blitzing the metro beaches!”

Derek Rielly

By Derek Rielly

"It’s great every one of this endangered population happen to be off Perth at the moment.”

A little under two weeks ago a male swimmer was killed by what witnesses described as a “massive Great White” at Port Beach, a mostly still-water sorta beach, pretty as hell, near the shipping hub of Fremantle.

The attack came on the twentieth anniversary of Ken Crews’ horror death in a Great White shallow water attack at nearby Cottesloe Beach, a hit that ushered in the brave new age of regular human-Great White interactions in WA.

Now, two of Perth’s most popular beaches, City Beach and Floreat, have been temporarily closed after multiple tagged Great Whites raised alarms at Scarborough, City Beach, Floreat, Cottesloe and Leighton.

“They are blitzing the metro beaches,” ocean swimmer RichardW wrote on Twitter. “On the other hand it’s great every one of this endangered population happen to be off Perth at the moment.”

Rottnest Island, site of a WCT event earlier this year, and which was temporarily put on hold because of a lurking Great White, is also crawling with Whites courtesy of a sixty-foot whale carcass floating just off Thompson Bay. 

The event has been drawing excited spectators, although swimming is not advised. 

And, at Rabbit Hill in Yallingup, Taj Burrow’s favourite wave and everyday haunt, a Great White has been reported. 

Whites also at Mandurah and Rockingham.

Attacks by Great Whites, once a wild rarity in West Oz, have become wildly common. 

Last October, surfer Andrew Sharpe was disappeared by a Great White at Kelpies, near Esperance, south of Perth; that January, an Esperance diver was hit by a Great White and three years before that, still Esperance, teenager Laeticia Brouwer was killed by a Great White in front of her family at Kelpies. 

More to come, I suppose.

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
Be a lot cooler if Jonah Hill was cast in a Suicidal Tendencies film.
Be a lot cooler if Jonah Hill was cast in a Suicidal Tendencies film.

Heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne Jonah Hill set to star as Jerry Garcia in new Martin Scorsese film about world’s most lovably ponderous musical grouping!

Chas Smith

By Chas Smith

Friend of the Devil!

In just-released news, it is being reported that Malibu stand-out Jonah Hill has been cast to play Jerry Garcia in an upcoming Martin Scorsese film about The Grateful Dead. Per Deadline:

After stepping up as a producer on his next film Killers of the Flower Moon, Apple has found its next Martin Scorsese project, and its subject is a band the Oscar winner knows well. Sources tell Deadline that Scorsese is on board to direct and produce a new untitled biopic on the Grateful Dead with Jonah Hill on board to play the group’s frontman, Jerry Garcia.

Hill will also produce the pic through his Strong Baby banner along with his producing partner Matt Dines.

Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, who received rave reviews for penning American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson, are writing the script with Rick Yorn of LBI Entertainment joining Hill and Scorsese as producers. The Dead’s Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzmann will executive produce along with their late bandmate’s daughter Trixie Garcia, Eric Eisner and Bernie Cahill.

As you know, well, I grew up on the Oregon coast and The Dead would regularly lope through the state being followed by people I considered my sworn enemies. I did not like The Grateful Dead’s music, I did not like their dancing bears, I did not like their fans, I did not like the length of their songs, I did not like the overall, or underlying, aesthetics.

Psychoanalysts might discover that my dislike stemmed from the iconic Grateful Dead “steal your face” or “lightening skull” logo. When I first saw it, sometime in elementary school, I assumed the band played some form of heavy metal or heavy metal-adjacent. When I first discovered the song title “Friend of the Devil” I knew they must play some form of heavy metal, not even adjacent.

Like Twisted Sister.

When I heard long acoustic guitar riffs, great confusion descended and has not dissipated.

Do you like The Grateful Dead?

Will you watch the movie?

David Lee Scales, who happens to be named after David Lee Roth from light welterweight metal Van Halen, and I discussed many things on our podcast today including surf film and white tennis shoes but did not discuss Hill’s turn as Garcia.

Would have been a lot cooler if we did.

Listen here.

Comments
0
Load Comments
0

Founder of brand featured in professional surfing’s most iconic moment in spotlight again with meteoric success of docu-series “The Curse of Von Dutch: A Brand to Die For!”

Chas Smith

By Chas Smith

FTW!

Any person wandering this earth during the 2000s will certainly remember Von Dutch. Celebrities from Paris Hilton to Ashton Kutcher wouldn’t be caught dead, outside, without a trucker hat with a “Von Dutch” patch front and center perched upon coiffed hairs. Later, that same “Von Dutch” was plastered to everything from dog sweaters to blowdryers.

The logo was everywhere and then, overnight, it disappeared.

What happened? A new docs-series pokes into the rise and fall of the brand and its three Ed Boswell, Mike Cassel and Bobby Vaughn.

A wild story of betrayal, death, threats from Pablo Escobar’s family and, reading about it suddenly remembered that I spent an afternoon with Bobby Vaughn many years ago right after he founded the brand FTW and sponsored Santa Barbara’s Bobby Martinez.

You will certainly recall the FTW cap riding high during the most iconic moment in professional surfing’s history. FTW sicker on surfboard nose.

Anyhow, Vaughn was a fantastic man, a surfer from Santa Cruz who moved to Venice Beach, got in some trouble, helped Von Dutch rocket to the moon then was brutally cut out of the business. He was living in New York when we chatted, having started a surf shop there, helping at-risk youth and maybe we even chatted in New York, but I don’t know what he’s doing now.

Thankfully there is a new docu-series. I’ll paw through my old paper Stab‘s and find the story while you watch the teaser.

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
Photo: Jack English
EAT BEACHGRIT SPAM!
It's Daily!