They said it would never happen. They doubted and naysaid, clicked their tongues and sucked their teeth in pure, open derision. “He won’t become fit,” they clucked. “He won’t give up a wayward life of booze, Carl’s Jr. western bacon cheeseburgers, embrace anything other than writing sick, spiteful, diseased surf journalism that nobody reads. Being rude and taking pleasure in being so. He won’t become fit.”
But here I am, a surf journalist soaring on the nylon wings of my WHOOP personalized digital fitness and health coach.
The oldest person to ever run a four-minute mile, by the way, is 41-year-old Irishman Eamonn Coghlan who kicked in at 3:58:15. He was an Olympian but also an Irishman.
The key to the greatest cutback on the final section of Kelly Slater’s thigh-burning Surf Ranch in history.
Heading back out tomorrow, shaving time, developing story.
Mere days ago, it was revealed here that 3x World Surf League champion and all-around guy Gabriel Medina had made his birth father, Claudinho, Instagram official. Per the initial report, “Medina, who is twenty-seven, posted two photos of the pair embracing and with both holding three fingers aloft to indicate his three world titles and a short video where father and son dance a touching pas de deux.”
Entirely touching but left out was Claudinho’s surname.
The same, exact, as possessed by superstar Italo Ferreira.
Is Ferreira the Brazilian Smith?
Or are the two, Gabe and Italo, legendary brothers from different mothers?
David Lee Scales, a new father himself, and I wondered aloud today while also wondering aloud if it is ok to change a child’s name a few weeks after birth.
Best show yet?
Party Pete (RIP?) shall judge.
Rumor: World Surf League notifies surfers heading to Hawaii, Australia that they MUST be vaccinated for start of 2021/22 Championship Tour leaving noted skeptics Kelly Slater, Gabriel Medina’s spots in doubt!
In an explosive, but unsurprising, new rumor from a professional surfer source, the World Surf League has notified all 2021/22 Championship Tour hopefuls that they MUST be vaccinated in order to enter Hawaii, Australia in order to surf professionally.
“It sort of mirrors the U.S. government policy and Australian policy and the Australians are very tight on this. No pokey, no surfy.”
Sport leagues and governing bodies around the globe have taken different approaches to vaccination with some high-profile athletes like Kyrie Irving, who plays for the NBA’s Brooklyn Nets, choosing to sit out instead of complying with city/state mandates. The NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL all strongly encourage players to be vaccinated but none of the most popular leagues require.
The international nature of professional surfing complicates matters as countries have differing guidelines. If true, and vaccination is required for events in Hawaii and Australia, what does it mean for noted skeptics Kelly Slater and Gabriel Medina?
Will the world’s greatest surfer, 11x champion and current number 18, vacate his spot instead of being forced under the needle?
Slater has recently opened up many fronts in his war against mandates, pulling in surfers, doctors, influencers into bloody skirmishes.
Will last year’s number 1, a rejuvenated Gabriel Medina, hand the crown over to Italo Ferreira instead of shooting a little mRNA under his skin?
World Surf League joins United World Wrestling, New York Yankees, in pledging to cut greenhouse gas emissions by half in respective sports this decade!
The UN Climate Change Conference, or COP26, is currently underway in sunny Glasgow, Scotland and much news has been made thus far. United States President Joseph Biden surprised onlookers by apologizing to the world for his predecessor, President Trump, pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement and promised to do many good things for the environment moving forward before taking a well-deserved nap.
And the World Surf League joined United World Wrestling, the New York Yankees, Ohio State University and others in pledging to cut all greenhouse gas emissions associated with said sport by half this decade.
Prince Albert II of Monaco, chair of sustainability for the International Olympic Committee, was bullish on the World Surf League’s leadership and said, “Few sectors have the power to inspire and the global appeal that sports does. We call on the other sports leaders to follow this lead.”
UN Climate Change Executive Director Patricia Espinosa praised the World Surf League by declaring, “Four years since we launched the Sports for Climate Action framework, more than 280 sports organisations have committed to the overarching objectives of aligning sport with the goals of the Paris agreement [established at COP 21 in 2015]. The sector eagerly took up the challenge, but also told us that they want to do more and to do it faster. These organisations are now being challenged to reduce emissions 50 percent by 2030 at the latest and to achieve net-zero emissions by 2040.”
And many bravos to the World Surf League for taking a firm stance. I do believe the greatest way to cut greenhouse gas emissions is by culling many surfers on the Championship Tour.
I also still like the Covid-era idea of putting the ten best men, women, on a clean, wind-powered sailboat and floating them around Indonesia.
Blood feud: Tom Morey’s estate vs owner of Morey bodyboards over Limited Edition Mach 7 with Morey’s “signature” released after his death, “We do not appreciate this thief in the night action of this corporate move… Tom’s grieving wife and family are in shock!”
Ol Tom wasn’t in the best shape. He was blind and broke, pretty much, despite the outrageous success of the boogie board, which celebrated its fiftieth anniversary this July.
Now, with Morey dead, InterSport Corp, owners of the Morey trademark, which Tom sold in 1977 before the design took off, is taking pre-orders for a limited edition re-release of his classic MACH 7, priced at a surprisingly reasonable one hundred and ninety-nine dollars.
From the promo,
“This board is one of a kind in the Morey family. The MACH 7 Commemorative Edition is the only Morey Boogieboard that has Tom’s signature.”
All pretty nice, money to the fam etc.
But fans of Tom, as well as the family, have slammed it as a cash grab.
From Tom’s FB page,
“This is the Morey Family and WE DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS THIEF IN THE NIGHT ACTION OF THIS CORPORATE MOVE. THERE IS NO CONTRACTURAL AGREEMENT HERE TO MOREY FAMILY FOR THIS TYPE OF CORPORATE FINANCIAL GAIN IN THE MIDST OF OUT LOSS. TOM’S grieving wife and family are in shock. Why would someone post at midnight a pre-order for a board that Tom had no contractural agreement. Our hearts are broken as we continue to work on arraignments for him to Rest in Peace.”
A few choice cuts from the comments, mostly from high-level bodyboard pro’s, all with a penchant for caps lock, so high rides the emotion, I suppose.
“BE WARNED! Morey family do not want this sale to occur. AT VBC (Vintage Bodyboard Collectors) we respect their wishes and recommend no one buy this board.”
“No, FUCK YOU GUYS. NO WAY WILL I BUY THIS OR ANY PRODUCT FROM YOU, EVER, YOU FUCKING SOULLESS PARASITES.”
“FUCK MOREY!!! Other than the name, this company no connection not the great man, our sport or to the community. Support the companies that give back and have true connection and relevance.”