An riddle not even the great Richard Simmons could solve.
Physical fitness is a grand mystery, one that the greatest minds of all history have tried to unlock. What is right so to do and what is wrong? Which way do muscles, endurance, vibrancy grow and which way do they shrink? Jazzercise yay or nay? Kettlebells in or out? Crossfit up or down? The Bunyanesque thinker Richard Simmons summed it up, rightly, when saying, “The human body, and how to train it, is the universe’s singular conundrum. I’ve resigned myself not to understand but simply like myself, eat healthy and squeeze my buns. That’s my formula.”
Wise and words that I try to live by own my own fitness journey, tacking them to the cedar walls of my infrared sauna and meditating upon them while I broil internally. As you well know, I purposed a month, or such, ago to pull myself from the morass of physical, mental inertia and march toward greatness once again. To strive for an above average cutback. A solid down carve.
And, as if listening, the universe responded, gifting me, and you too if you are bold enough, a personal digital fitness and health coach.
It whispered at me while I did pushups and squats like a convict in order to improve my pop-up.
It nodded while I danced ballet in order to improve my footwork.
It taught me to run, carrying me on its nylon wings toward a 4 minute kilometer and the ability to surf for more than 30 minutes without getting tired..
I would study the WHOOP application on my telephone nightly, watching strain soar, balancing recovery, but yesterday discovered an anomaly certain to befuddle the most august fitness scholars at the most gilded institutions like 24 Hour Fitness and Gold’s Gym.
Two days of the week, Wednesday and Friday, I do not train.
Those selfsame two days of the week shoot my heart beats through minutes through the roof.
An oddity.
An enigma.
And I pondered it while meditating on Richard Simmons, broiling internally, until the universe gently sighed the answer.
Wednesday and Friday are the days I gather with four of my best friends, all fathers, and our eight children, aged four through eight, in order to teach them.
The academy was founded near the beginning of last year as the pandemic chewed through schools, sticking boys and girls in front of Zoom screens for many hours a day. We met on a sailboat in Newport Harbor, halfway between my San Diego and their Los Angeles, and cobbled together math, English, Spanish, Arabic, history, sailing, literature, how to get in a straight line and stay there. How not to be an annoying spazz.
This year it has become even more serious with fully developed curriculums, science experimentation, ship shape penmanship, much memorization, nautical navigation, etc.
It has all been a wild experiment, learning how children learn, getting them to learn, tossing Derrida out the window and sorting through phonics, establishing both discipline and esprit de corps, preserving curiosity.
Oh, but nothing causes the heart to pound whilst towering over a five-year-old who has told you that three plus three is eight for the third time in a row. Nothing causes it to almost burst through its chest cavity when a seven-year-old snitches, yet again, when he’s been told at least one-thousand times, “Where do we put tattletales? That’s right. Up the mainsail.”
But then the four-year-old remembers that Jacques Cousteau’s boat was Calypso and somehow knows he invented the SCUBA tank without being told, the eight-year-old recites a passage from Dostoyevsky with award-winning flair and all of them, together, pound a bully at a park.
Proud moments that dot days mostly on the very border of full-blown aneurysms.
Teachers are saints and would likely receive pay raises if they each wore a WHOOP strap to work each and every day.
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Fifteen percent is not written %51.


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My heart rate went up reading this.
cry me a river. i do it not of privilege, in the fine inner newport harbor. rather, i do it but for my own sustanence in oxnard, with oaxaquenos. big whoop.
Can’t believe I read this
I honestly don’t know why Chas bothers with anything other than a headline and a photo
There is no I in I! I! I! Me! Me! Me!
It’s ok Ben, it’s a safe space and we understand you.
Chas called you “Net.” It’s “Neg.” And it probably wasn’t Sean Volland who done it, because of the shakes.
How traumatizing is it to wake up each morning and realize the nightmare is real? That you are, in fact, Ben Marcus.
Why?
Is it better to wake up every morning and realize that you are Chas Smith, a gangly smartass who is despised as a frustrated, wannabe-surf-star/world-class-dork by the best surfers in the world?
A guy who pokes fun at people like Kelly Slater and Laird Hamilton who would drown and/or be impaled if he attempted 1/10th of what they have accomplished?
A semi-intelligent dude who is wasting his life and his brain writing about surfing?
To zero effect?
Is that a good vibe?
Funny, we were just talking about Steve McQueen but they summed you up in Papillon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dslBLC6hafo
You missed the party, bubba.
By a couple of decades.
Which explains the snarky, disappointed tone of BeachGrit.com.
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: oh man, are you kidding? Yes.
But it’s all so dumb and pointless and nobody cares.
Why bother, when Surfline and TheInertia and Scab.com and MagicSeaweed and MoonGlow.fr and Porcao.br and a dozen other websites are all covering the same thing?
It’s redundantly redundant.
Hey Chas, could you do us a favor?
Can you check the WHOOP to see how your heart was pounding on the way to pumping surf stuck in traffic, what is was in the surf, and what it said after a surf(preferably a good surf)?
Thanks
Too much salt on the margarita glass rim.
The Black Box Academy of Noble Savages sounds like a fine institution.
Thanks for deleting so quickly. Instant gratification! When you gonna blame Net? And are you day drinking in Malibu?
Oops sorry. Neg. there’s a typo but I blame Tim Apple.
Blame Net, or Neg?
I never delete my stuff, it’s too invaluable.
Drinking in the sight of Rivian bouncing from $76 to $119 in a couple of hours, and Tesla coming back to life.
Reading this article in Seeking Alpha about Tesla’s battery storage program and how they expect it to be 50% of Tesla’s business – equal with cars.
I’ve been saying all along that if APPL had split five times or the equivalent of 220X, the stock would be $33,000 a share – and I think TSLA will be the same, in a decade or less.
https://seekingalpha.com/ar…
Lying is for Children Ben. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
If only TSLA can find a way to be profitable on an annual basis without the benefit of regulatory credits and crypto trading.
The profit is coming, trust me. They’ve been plowing money into the company non stop and pretty soon they will be firing on four cylinders – plants up and running in Fremont, China, Germany and Texas – pumping out 2,000,000 cars a year and selling every one of them as the world wakes up to the reality that ICE stinkpots are history and EV is the way to go.
And then just read a story on Seeking Alpha on Tesla’s energy storage business which is massive and expected to be as big or bigger than the car business.
I’ve been saying all along that if APPL hadn’t split 5 times (x220) APPL would be $33,000+ a share, and there’s no reason Tesla isn’t going to do the same thing.
It’s going to, probably within 10 years or sooner.
Most people just aren’t sophisticated enough to understand how important a company Tesla is.
Profits are just around the corner – four factories, no waiting.
Man I don’t know about trusting a surfer referencing a SA article by Nick Cox…and while I agree profits are coming with scale, TSLA isn’t close yet. They need 2x or 3x current annual sales to get there based upon my estimates. The challenge associated with your AAPL v TSLA comparo is simple, Apple is in a business that sells products that capture high margins whereas Tesla is in a low margin manufacturing and labor intensive business and that will be massively difficult to change while the legacy makers ramp up to control EV market share. Elon can promise dreadnought alien manufacturing lines that spit out cars so fast you need a strobe to see them but he hasn’t come close to that and doesn’t have the free cash to deliver the acid induced robots we all want to see. Now back to Nick’s article, he failed to mention the competition, yes a well capitalized competition, that is snickering at Tesla’s battery storage ambitions as I type this.
Now as for sophistication I guess I’m not a sophisticated guy but I do appreciate Tesla and the impact the company has made. BUT I do know numbers, 10-Q, 10-Ks and footnotes and Tesla is a long way from where many of uswant them to be, besides out of the Bay area…
They just getting started, bubba.
Remember, they haven’t been in business for 20 years and they’ve only been rolling cars off the line for 11 years and in that time – from one factory -they have produced well over a million electric cars in four models.
Their estimates are 2,000,000 cars per year by 2022.
And the sky is the limit once the EV market really starts to tsunami. There will be room for Tesla and everyone as the demand for electric cars goes into the tens of millions and maybe the hundreds of millions.
Because ICE stinkpots are history. There is zero advantage to driving a stinkpot and dozens of disadvantages.
What Musk and Team have accomplished has been impossible and miraculous, and they’ve been doing it by the skin of their teeth.
Electric cars are cheaper to build and the margins are much higher than ICE stinkpots – some say times nine. That’s good business.
Tesla doesn’t want to dominate the electric vehicle market, they just wanted to create it and encourage it and move it along – which is what they are doing at Scalosian Speed.
Don’t know about the competition for power shortage. Time will tell.
I am surrounded by people making oodles of money on TSLA and they seem pretty pleased.
If you live where I do you get a glimpse of the future, and the future is electric.
I’m all in on the EV mission and await the next iteration of battery tech before I replace all of my cars, save for one special horizontally opposed 6 cylinder, with EVs. Skin of their teeth, come on. Tesla has smartly benefitted from a cheap NUMMI purchase, favorable tax incentives and other massive gov’t support and they should be applauded for it. The founders had a great vision that Musk has pushed forward.
EVs are not cheaper to build, not even close and only have higher margins in the world of Elon and his compliant CFO due to solid GAAP gymnastics.
Those making money on TSLA, like me have enjoyed the ride as it has been a trade for the ages…
I’m all in on the EV mission and await the next iteration of battery tech before I replace all of my cars,
Those iterations come quickly these days. Everything moves incredibly fast, but Tesla especially. That’s because decisions aren’t made by committee, they are made by Musk. Yes/no. Red light green light.
save for one special horizontally opposed 6 cylinder, with EVs.
Yes people will always have their stinkpots but they will be for weekends and amusement.
Skin of their teeth, come on.
Are you kidding? Read some books. Musk has been walking a billion-dollar tightrope the whole way: With SpaceX as well.
Daimler saved Tesla’s ass. And Ford. And Toyota.
None of this should have worked, and it has only through persistence and refusal to give up.
Tesla has smartly benefitted from a cheap NUMMI purchase,
Cheap to purchase maybe, but a $465 million loan from Biden to modernize Fremont to build the S.
Wasn’t cheap to modernize that facility. No uh uh. Not at all.
I argue this a lot with Trumpers and anti-Bidenistas: Tesla paid that $465 million loan back nine years early with $15 million interest. That loan has created tens of thousands of jobs and hundreds of billions in new wealth.
One loan – Biden to Tesla. I challenge Trumpers to show me anything Fat Bastard attempted or achieved that can top that, and they never answer.
Tesla is MAGA – this is how America used to be: The ass-kicking world leader, changing the world.
favorable tax incentives and other massive gov’t support and they should be applauded for it.
See above. Tesla has returned many orders of magnitude more than they’ve received.
Total loans and incentives from Uncle Sam to Tesla is about $2,6 billion, and they have created much much more wealth than that in jobs, taxes, real estate, sales tax, etc.
The founders had a great vision that Musk has pushed forward.
The founders had the start of a vision that Musk and Team pushed forward beyond anyone’s expectations.
EVs are not cheaper to build,
They are cheaper to build and they’re going to get even cheaper with economies of scale and as battery prices come down.
Electric cars at the same time are more sophisticated and simpler than stinkpots.
not even close and only have higher margins in the world of Elon and his compliant CFO due to solid GAAP gymnastics.
Those making money on TSLA, like me have enjoyed the ride as it has been a trade for the ages…
It’s just gonna keep going. If APPL hadn’t split five times it would be $33,000 a share. No reason Tesla won’t hit that, and sooner than you think.
Point of clarity Bush was the reason the Obama administration had the DOE loan facility to lend the money to Tesla. Look deeper into why tesla repaid the laon early as you’ll find some other loan covenants that forced the early repayment.
Wait “Tesla is MAGA” so we can agree that Trump and Elon are very similar…but Trump is a waste of energy
“Total loans and incentives from Uncle Sam to Tesla is about $2,6 billion” not even in the ballpark, circle back with a bigger number after you ask Kirkhorn for the real numebr.
Show me how Tesla EVs are cheaper to make than ICE. You can’t but I’ll wait. The batteries will never be cheaper to manufacture than a Prius, an ICE Corolla or some cheap GM shitbox. Price out a Model S or Y replacement battery.
Point of clarity Bush was the reason the Obama administration had the DOE loan facility to lend the money to Tesla.
Yes the Advanced Technology Vehicles Manufacturing (ATVM) Loan Program was started by Bush but the loan came from Obama/Biden.
Look deeper into why tesla repaid the laon early as you’ll find some other loan covenants that forced the early repayment.
I read about it in Power Play and the reasons are complicated, but don’t matter: They still had the wherewithal to pay back almost half a billion dollars way ahead of time.
And that loan has produced oodles of jobs and wealth. The market cap of Tesla increased almost a trillion dollars from the time of that loan to now.
Ooodles.
Wait “Tesla is MAGA” so we can agree that Trump and Elon are very similar…but Trump is a waste of energy
Trump and Musk are similar in that they both know there is no such thing as bad publicity and that as long as people are talking about you – good or bad – you are winning.
But the similarity stops there. Trump is a wife-cheating, sad-stripper-shagging-and-bribing, student-defrauding, charity-stealing, election-fraud-lying, riot-inciting, pussy-grabbing vulgar ratfuck game show host, while Musk is a right on soul brotha and easily the most influential person of the 21st Century – and most likely a true genius. They are very rare.
As for MAGA, when Biden was running for president I emailed The Mooch and suggested Biden should be making speeches from the Fremont factory because Tesla represents true MAGA – manufacturing in America, a world leader in technology, thinking outside of the box and just being the leader in the evolution to electric cars and renewable energy.
That’s MAGA.
There’s more to Making America Great Again than parading around in a stupid red hat and making sycophants smell your farts.
“Total loans and incentives from Uncle Sam to Tesla is about $2,6 billion” not even in the ballpark, circle back with a bigger number after you ask Kirkhorn for the real numebr.
As of August 2020, according to cleantechnica.com: “Tesla’s total subsidy value according to the data is $2,441,582,590 ($2.44 billion), across 109 “awards” — 82 federal grants and tax credits as well as 27 state and local awards.
You know something different? And it doesn’t matter. Even if the government loans and subsidies totaled $50 billion – which they don’t – Tesla has more than paid it back, and they are just getting started. It’s a gift that is going to keep going, far off into the future.
Show me how Tesla EVs are cheaper to make than ICE. You can’t but I’ll wait.
There was one great article I think on Seeking Alpha explaining how EVs are 9x less expensive and 9x more profitable but I can’t re-find it.
This will have to do: https://www.qad.com/blog/20…
The batteries will never be cheaper to manufacture than a Prius, an ICE Corolla or some cheap GM shitbox.
Incorrect. It’s coming if it’s not here already.
Price out a Model S or Y replacement battery.
$10,000 – $15,000
Love the Trump recap! Such a worthless fuck but he has “had” some incredible women who are now toxic. Visited with Trump for awhile after riding the elevator with him after the ’98 US Open, very engaging but it was strange seeing him with his ex-wife and new girlfriend…
The women were there because of money. No money, no women. Trump hides behind money. Thank Odin he is gone.
But at least he has short fingers and orange hair…
Money. Money. Money. Yawn. Thank Odin we don’t have to listen to him no more. That’s the silver lining in Covid. Removing Trump from office.
You challenged me on NUMMI and the amount of subsidies and loans to Tesla and other things.
I responded with geometric logic. https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Was I right or was I wrong?
Most likely I was right, because I always am.
You are wrong but it’s all good as the support of Tesla is important and like all things typical of the SV landscape which Tesla has mastery of at wildly stepped exponential level – fake it til ya make it is the MO. Unless of course fundamentals begin to matter and stock prices begin to reflect this reality.
“You are wrong” is not an argument.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-cli…
You say they have been given more than $2.5 billion in loans and subsidies.
Prove it.
I hope you’re not another half-assed, Mr. Know It All/Know Nothing online hacks.
Part of Tesla’s valuation is speculation, part is hysteria, but much of it has a foundation in the reality that Tesla is an extremely important, evolutionary company.
Not many people get that.
So….
Not a half assed know it, just an evil ex-Wall Streeter, but I agree I come of that way in an obnoxious manner as I learned from the best and brightest. I’ll dust off old data and circle back over the weekend with updated data for you to get wildly agitated over:) Agreed on the speculation hence the SV(or is it now the Miami VC scene) fake it til you make it assertion.
This is my boilerplate defense of Biden and Tesla I throw at all the “Let’s Go Brandon!” dorks and anti-Muskers.
I never get a response.
THE BOILERPLATE
Under Obama, Biden loaned Tesla $465 million to Tesla under the Advanced Technology Vehicles Manufacturing program.
Tesla used the money to modernize and robotize the Fremont plant and build the Tesla S.
Tesla paid that loan back nine years early with $15 million interest, and that loan is creating tens of thousands of jobs and hundreds of billions in new wealth.
And God knows how much tax revenue. And it’s a gift that is going to keep on giving long into the future.
Look at the factory in Texas, and the jobs created there.
And look at what that loan has inspired, like Ford investing $11 billion to build battery factories and a truck plant in Kentucky.
The success of the Tesla S sparked that, and the success of the Tesla S has a foundation in that loan overseen by Biden.
Point me toward any one thing Trump attempted or achieved that comes anywhere close to that one loan by Biden to Tesla.
The truth is, the sum total of everything Trump attempted and achieved don’t add up to that one loan by Biden to Tesla.
That is proof that the Green New Deal is the Real Deal, and it’s the foundation of the American Jobs Proposal and the Infrastructure Plan.
That’s MAGA. That’s vision and leadership and success.
There’s more to Making America Great Again than parading around the proles in a stupid red hat.
Hey Trump nailed Stormy, doesn’t that count for something? MAGAs love aging pornstars
Stormy is sad. Trump is sad The country is sad for electing him.
Dusted off old notes and came up with roughly $4.9b in subsidies collectively for Tesla, Solar City and SpaceX through 2015. Tesla regulatory credit revenue for 2016 through 3Q2021 was $4.3b. As for China I only had $325m for FY2020 and their nice factory deal could be construed as a subsidy but I’ll leave that math out in case Xi decides to take the factory back in the future. Solid numbers and I suspect I could come up with somewhere between 1x and 2x more if I was serious about this effort and still enjoyed excel.
Tesla + SpaceX + Solar City not equal to Tesla.
Their piece of all tbat was $2.6 billion with $.475 billion paid back rapido with $15 million.interest.
That’s good value. Think of the wealth and jobs Tesla has produced.
Far more than $2.6 billion
Multiples.
Don’t cheat on facts
The $475m wasn’t a subsidy. Now as I explain to the anti-Elons, we need Tesla/SpaceX to remain successful as they fit into the “too big to fail category” regardless of Biden’s anti-Tesla stance. I continue to wait for Tesla to build a car that meets my needs while combining fit/finish, interior and performance. In the immortal words of William Shatner “It hasn’t happened yet.”
You do realize I am jealous I haven’t tripped with Elon on the roof of a Gigafactory.
The $475m wasn’t a subsidy.
No it was part of the $2.6 billion but a loan, which they paid back nine years early and launched the whole shebang by modernizing Fremont in record time and producing the S.
I am amazed by how fast Tesla moves, but it’s because Musk hired uber talent and all yes/no decisions come from him.
Now as I explain to the anti-Elons,
The anti-Elons who babble about ChemTrails and Deep State and Election Fraud while not wearing masks?
we need Tesla/SpaceX to remain successful as they fit into the “too big to fail category” regardless of Biden’s anti-Tesla stance.
Biden isn’t anti-Tesla. He loaned them half a billion dollars. That EV summit was patting the hand of the unionized automakers who are panicking because the future is passing them by.
Musk owes a lot to Biden and he knows that.
Those northwest industrial states saved Biden’s ass and he knows that.
I continue to wait for Tesla to build a car that meets my needs while combining fit/finish, interior and performance. In the immortal words of William Shatner “It hasn’t happened yet.”
Well la di da. You’ll just have to keep cruising in your Ford Pinto modified with camouflage metal flake and a roll cage until the future catches up with you.
I saw Leno the day after he broke the quarter-mile speed record in his Plaid, in Bakersfield. He was spinning. Leno is the biggest gearhead in America and he’s all in on Tesla.
You do realize I am jealous I haven’t tripped with Elon on the roof of a Gigafactory.
I wonder if Musk takes drugs – LSD or cannabis. That’s a dude with a very busy brain and I doubt he wants to damage any of his marbles.
I think the same thing about Slater.
HMMM, I might be all in on the Pinto idea! It would be my first American made car. BTW, I don’t recall seeing Biden’s signature on the note to Tesla. Prove it or I won’t trust you ever again. BTW, does Leno drive his Tesla everyday? Keep this a secret but like Leno I grew up working on and building cars but that motherfucker made more money…not bitter, no really!
Biden oversaw the loan. Did you see the loan papers?
Leno comes in different cars all the time: Bentleys, muscle cars, sometimes his Plaid.
And he definitely made himself some money.
Seinfeld was here yesterday.
I don’t surf anymore.
Is Nick Cox not credible?
Is he like the Chas Smith of the investment world?
Really unfair to compare Chas to Nick. Nick writes solid articles for a retail investor but I take everything on SA with a grain of salt unless it is an old Wall Street acquaintance writing under an assumed name to protect his/her guilt.
As for Chas, he delivers interesting news, humor for the twisted souls and the occasional hit piece on the deserving…
An EV company firing on 4 cylinders is an interesting analogy
Thank you. I liked it.
I’m looking forward to you deleting these when you realize your error and blaming Negs.
Where is that written? You need a Whoop, Ben.
You also committed the horrible act of a typo by posting your comment in the wrong thread. TO THE GULAG YOU GO!
BeachGrit is put together by crackheads so sometimes the comments for one story appear under another story.
Crack kills.
Stay off the hard stuff.
Takes one to know one I suppose
A quick refresh of your screen cures that problem
That deserves a tech wizard badge
If only @Negatron could offer one with a sneer
Theres nothing grit about ‘we met on a sailboat in newport’ haha
The boat used to be in Pedro.
Hey Charrest, Charrest Smump.
When are ya gonna include ping-pong into your training ?
P.S.
Any thoughts on the effect of shrimp consumption on whoop results ?
Where’s the typo?
I’m surprised you can type and finger your cat at the same time.
I sentence you to live in the suburbs of Orange County.
I’d tell you to go to hell but you’re already there.
Wow i literally just saw u receive your badge, it just appeared next to your name
Badge? Who needs badges? What badge, Madge?
Hey view your badges as a badge of honor from the site enforcer. BUT don’t ever make fun of the government of Oz or the fascist Ardern as he gets sensitive…
Australia has a government? Really? Where?
Ardern seems like a good sort.
When I was there Piggy Muldoon declared war on Australia because of an underarm bowl at a cricket match.
A funny thing for a Prime Minister to say.
Fark … how old are you Ben?
Old enough.
Great Q and some might say Oz only has wardens…SHHH this might upset @Negatron
Negatron is in a constant state of upset. He is a plumber living in a disaster zone. It’s troubling.
Amazing a plumber who hands out badges on BG and is surely the enforcer in his local lineup. My enlightenment continues but one is left to wonder when he will take his skills to Seeking Alpha.
Negatron’s local lineup uplifted 12 feet in the last earthquake. Wrecked it.
Wednesdays and Fridays are coke days
Do the buns you squeeze have to be your own?