Beloved nonagenarian actor Dick Van Dyke shares incredible story of falling asleep on surfboard and drifting out to sea: “I looked around and I started paddling with the swells, and I start seeing fins swimming around me. And I thought, you know, ‘I’m dead!’”

But was it all a dream?

The much beloved actor Dick Van Dyke turned 96 years young, yesterday, and wow. Van Dyke made a name for himself in musical theater before gracing the silver screen, playing unforgettable characters like the chimney sweep in Disney’s Mary Poppins and Dick Van Dyke on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”

Wonderful and in honor of his birthday, delightful stories from the past near century are being unearthed including this one:

While chatting with Craig Ferguson on The Late Late Show in 2010, Van Dyke, then 85, said he’d once enjoyed surfing. But when Ferguson asked if he still caught waves at that point, Van Dyke told him, “No, not anymore.”

He said he used to paddle out on a 10-foot longboard and had a preference for the cold waters of the east coast — specifically Virginia Beach.

“I went out once and I fell asleep on that board,” he shared. “I did! And I woke up out of sight of land.”

But the story gets even more incredible. Van Dyke said, “I looked around and I started paddling with the swells, and I start seeing fins swimming around me. And I thought, you know, ‘I’m dead.’”

“They turned out to be porpoises,” he concluded. “They pushed me all the way to shore. I’m not kidding.”

Well I have never heard anything so surreal. Have you? Also, have you ever fallen asleep on a surfboard? In cold water?


Brazilian big wave stud Pedro “Scooby” Vianna blows doors off minds of mainstream press with “mega monstrous” ride, lovable post-heat interview at Nazare Big Wave Challenge!

A star is born.

The TUDOR Nazare Tow Surfing Challenge presented by Logos Santa Casa has now officially wrapped, sun dappling bigger and bigger waves with gold, exhaust fumes swirling in the still air. There were six 50-minute heats featuring three teams of six surfers. To the surprise of no one, Kai Lenny and his partner Lucas Chianca took it for the boys while Justine Dupont handled the women’s side though it was Pedro “Scooby” Vianna who captured the imagination of the mainstream media.

“Pedro Scooby RIDES MONSTROUS WAVE… Insane Video!!!”

“Pedro Scooby surfs MASSIVE wave at Nazare and somehow the post-wave interview was even better!”

“Pedro Scooby is the HERO for OUR FRACTURED TIME!”

And even though the mainstream media is convinced that his name is “Pedro Scooby,” Vianna was the clear winner and has much upside moving forward.

Buy low, sell high.

Watch here.

Mark Zuckerberg’s BFF Kai Lenny almost killed in wild fifty-foot surf as jetski slaughter marks Portugal tow-surf contest, “It’s super dangerous, it’s chaotic, the water is angry!”

Daring rescues and grisly jetski wipeouts at Nazaré!

Ain’t nothing harder than trying to wrangle a seven-hundred pound jetski in a ten-foot shorebreak, as ski pilots were reminded at the WSL’s just completed tow-contest at Nazaré, Portugal.

The contest was won by Mark Zuckerberg’s BFF Kai Lenny, the daring multi-discipline surfer with sea-spray eyes shaped like pecans, skin the colour of buttered cocoa and lips as red as if he’d just applied a fresh coat of pomegranate lipstick, and his Brazilian tow-partner Lucas Chianca, not unattractive but no Kai Lenny, let’s face it. 

Lenny, who is twenty-nine, nearly didn’t live to see his milestone thirtieth or collect his winner’s trophy, howevs, after a rescue by Chianca that almost killed them both. 

And, I think it’s Pierre Rollet here, Justine Dupont’s tow partner, almost winning a hard-fought victory in the Naz shorebreak.

The joint is just rapacious.


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As Shane Dorian said a lil while back, 

“The place is a logistical nightmare. We lost a couple of skis. It’s really hard to do rescues there, really really hard. It’s really super dangerous. There’s a cliff there. All that shit. Once, I caught a wave and we lost one of the skis in the shore break. I finally got back out there an hour later. I got a couple more waves and then we had to ditch another ski on the sand. It is just chaotic. The water’s really angry.”

Face of modern surfing, heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne, Jonah Hill excoriates Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw for not immediately calling 911 after husband suffered fatal heart attack whilst riding a stationary bicycle!

Surfers are the best!

Somebody had to say it, amirite? But of course it was Jonah Hill, our champion, the face of modern surfing. We, each of us grumpy locals here, were shocked when Carrie Bradshaw’s husband, Mr. Big, died of a heart attack, post Peloton workout, on the premier episode of new Sex and the City reboot And Just Like That…

And we mourned, sure, tears streaking cheeks, but also watched the workout bicycle’s stock plummet then wished that John James Preston was straddling a longboard, at time of demise, instead of a stationary crotch rocket.

Or standing upon a SUP.

In any case, Hill, heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne, took to Instagram, furious, demanding to know why Mrs. Preston didn’t call 911, the U.S. emergency number, instead of doing whatever she did (I haven’t watched so don’t know).

A star-studded high five followed but leave it to one of us, cutting to the quick, getting to the heart of the matte (no pun intended), prioritizing.

Surfers are the best.

But have you ever called 911, 000, 112 or whatever emergency number exists in your country?


That’s why you are NOT the face of modern surfing.


What would Jonah do?

A question that should be perpetually in your consciousness.

Wright (pictured) taking a knee.
Wright (pictured) taking a knee.

Professional surfers praised as “boldest athlete activists” on earth by newspaper of record: “They jump headfirst into denouncing ghastly human rights records and use public profiles to focus global attention on such issues!”

Who knew?

Well I did not see that coming this morning. Sitting down at my computer, coffee steaming from my “I want my Beach Grit” mug, ready to start the day, I flipped open my computer’s screen and scrolled through some emails before scanning the news.

Many stories about the devastating tornadoes that smashed Kentucky over the weekend. Some on Kelly Slater’s friend Lewis Hamilton not winning the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. One, in Jeff Bezos’ organ The Washington Post on the women’s tennis tour pulling events out of China in protest over the treatment of Peng Shui thereby riding “a wave of surfer activism.”


I dug in immediately.

On Dec. 1, concerned about the effective disappearance from public life of tennis player Peng Shuai, the Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) announced that it was suspending all tournaments in China. Peng had accused a former Chinese vice premier of sexual assault — a claim immediately censored by Chinese authorities — and had not been seen without the presence of government officials since.

“If powerful people can suppress the voices of women and sweep allegations of sexual assault under the rug, then the basis on which the WTA was founded — equality for women — would suffer an immense setback,” said Steve Simon, its chief executive. “I will not and cannot let that happen to the WTA and its players.”

Then, on Dec. 6, in explicit disapproval of China’s human rights abuses, the Biden administration announced that the United States will not send government representatives to the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing. Australia, Canada and Britain quickly followed suit.

These were bold and, particularly with respect to the WTA, courageous moves. Withdrawing from China is likely to cost the WTA hundreds of millions of dollars. Indeed, the China market is so lucrative that many athletes and athletic organizations, such as the NBA, have made it clear that they will not jeopardize profits to trumpet humanitarian concerns.

Yet not all in the athletic community have been so craven. Some have long jumped headfirst into denouncing ghastly human rights records, withdrawing from competitions or using their public profiles to focus global attention on such issues. Among the boldest athlete activists? Surfers. While surfers were long celebrated as an apolitical bunch who wanted to do nothing but ride waves, that changed in the 1980s as it dawned on them that the pastime they saw as an escape from the world’s troubles was, in fact, embedded in its social realities.

The think piece then proceeded to spool out Tom Carroll, Martin Potter and Tom Curren boycotting South African surf contests as a protest over apartheid, “surfer activism” highlighting the importance of clean water and coastal access, Cori Schumacher boycotting the ASP World Tour after it scheduled an event in China, the World Surf League being the “first and only U.S.-based global sports league” to provide equal prize money for men and women, Tyler Wright competing with a pride flag jersey and taking a knee for 439 seconds before ending thusly.

Surfers have hardly been alone in using the platform they’ve been afforded to speak out on issues of concern. But they have been remarkably active and vocal compared with athletes in other sports. Schumacher demonstrated this commitment in 2011, when she took a lonely stand in boycotting China a full decade before women’s tennis announced it was doing the same. It remains to be seen whether the WSL — or the Association of Tennis Professionals, which sponsors the men’s tour — will find the courage to follow Schumacher’s and the WTA’s lead.

Do you feel better about yourself?

You should.

Viva surfers.