Surfival of the fittest.
We are on the cusp of a brand new World Surf League season and can you feel the frisson? That wonderful tension? Oh the wet rag that is Lower Trestles is now in the rearview and only excitement remains. Only sweet and delicious anticipation but do you bet the surfers?
It is, truly, the only way to properly enjoy and the very best way to bet them is via the Surfival League.
But what is?
In case you’ve been living under a bluebottle…
Fantasy Surfer is boring. Round 1 is boring.
We fixed that.
This is Surfival League. Here’s the rules.
Each event, pick only one (1) surfer to advance past the Round of 32.
If your surfer loses in the first two elimination rounds (gets 33rd or 17th place), you are eliminated for the year. If your surfer advances, you advance.
You can not pick the same surfer twice.
The competition will continue until the last man is standing and they will win $3000 and three custom shaped Panda Surfboards.
A mere $20 is the buy in but, last year, I brought shame to myself and my family. This year, I will rectify. I will stand proud. I will win and all starting with betting on one Michael Jordan Smith. “Cryin Jordy” has been BeachGrit’s mascot since the get (photo captured by the imitable Jack English whose clothing can be purchased here).
Is there any way the South African veteran does not make it out of the Round of 32 at Pipeline? Any chance he stumbles out of the gate? Shame hovers around himself, his family, too.
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Jack robinson did well in da hui. Probs a safe bet
Leo Fioravanti is my bet for Pipe, I like to live dangerously
Pipe is the absolute hardest event in surfival. Even going with gabe is a risky proposition because top seed meets a qualifier.
Then come up against a tube riding specialist in rd 2 and it can be all over.
Can you use some of the money you make to hire some actual writers who might have ideas that go beyond Whoop and Ben’s racist rants?
Don’t be absurd.
Nothing wrong with a standing cry wank
Or reminiscents of an adolescence debased by sexually confused peers
Surfvival was fun. I went pretty far, but eventually ran into the same problem as nearly everyone else:
Once you are out, Surfvival disappears. You have no idea how the tournament continues, and as it gets more and more interesting fewer and fewer people have any idea what’s going on.
There should be a way to track what’s happening after you’ve lost.
Yeah needs some sort of losers round.
Working on Losers Round!
Also, we will post results on BeachGrit, Instagram, email and the website!
Can you do a leaderboard based on points won per event? E.g. if your pick finishes 1st you get 1000 points and so on.
I reckon this would be a better way to determine the winner in the case of a tie at the last comp.
That’s the way the tie breaker will work this year! Minor change from last year.
I saved toledo until the surf ranch, thought he would shit it and the prick dudded out. He owes me 1000 bucks!
Chas, honest Q–did you and DR pledge matching new year’s resolutions to not comment on BG this year?
Chas’ silence will indicate yes. Or no.
No! I’ll be around more. Finishing book got best of my time.
In snooker there was a common refrain in the 1990’s “it’s Jimmy’s year!”. Poor old Jimmy White lost a world championship final 6 times, never winning one. Anyways, it’s Jordy’s year!
Is it?!
It didn’t help that he was steaming every year, of course.
But if Jordy turns up pished to a couple of comps I might give him more of a chance.
There was the minor issue of a certain Scot being unbeatable too!
My hero!
Do you still watch it? I haven’t in years but used to love it. I often wonder if I should invest a bit of time in it again.
Occasionally when I’m over at my parents, I’ll watch it with my father and I’ll fall asleep on the couch. A relaxing way to pass an hour or two, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it!