Tomson (right) ready for action.

Surf legend Shaun Tomson posts cryptic message on WSL global chief revenue officer’s Facebook page after return to Lowers for Final’s Day announced: “Time to bust down the door!”

What does it mean?

Days ago, and after lightly teasing exciting spots, the World Surf League announced that it would host 2022’s championship crowning day at the same wave that hosted 2021’s championship crowning day.

Lower Trestles.

Now, Lowers is by no means a dog. Southern California’s “skate park” provides “thrilling” sections for homeschooled e-bikers to throw many and varied “aerial maneuvers” but championship crowning? Difficult to take seriously when Pipeline, Teahupoo, G-Land dot the tour calendar.

In any case, what’s done is done and the World Surf League’s Global Chief Revenue Officer and Advisor Cherie R. Cohen took to Facebook to share the news, writing “The Rip Curl WSL Finals will return to Trestles, CA!” including a video in the announcement.

Surf legend, 1977 champion, Shaun Tomson was quick to respond albeit entirely cryptically, penning, “Time to bust down the door!”

Bust down the door?

The phrase is most commonly associated, in our surfing, with the film Bustin’ Down the Door wherein Tomson and a pack of brash young Australians including, but not limited to, Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew and Ian Cairns, traveled to Oahu’s North Shore, surfed well and infuriated the locals.

So what is Tomson meaning here?

That the World Surf League’s top 5 men and women are going to go to Lowers, surf well and infuriate homeschooled e-bikers?

It’s the only analysis I can muster.

Help?


BJ gave hell in the Octagon, gonna give hell to COVID vaccine mandates etc too.

King of the UFC Octagon and Hawaiian governor nominee BJ Penn sparks wild race debate on Instagram after unity message backfires, “You still have time to delete this”!

"Unks took one too many hits to the cranium!"

Four months ago, one of MMA’s greatest, the Hawaiian who took the spotlight off the UFC heavyweights and turned it onto the little guys, announced his candidacy for governor of Hawaii.

Hawaiian-born Jay Dee Penn, who is forty-two and of Irish-American and Korean-Hawaiian descent, posted a clip from the movie Sparta with a call for Hawaiians to wrench control away from bureaucrats insisting on vaccine passports, masks and so on.

“Hawaii will be vaccinated with Aloha,” wrote Baby Jay.

Now, BJ has accidentally sparked a wild race debate on Instagram after posting what he figured was a message of unity to his 345,000 fans.

“Whether you are Hawaiian by blood or Hawaiian by heart. If you live in Hawaii you are Hawaiian.”

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by BJ Penn (@bjpenn)

A little clumsy, yeah, for it gifts Mark Zuckerberg, Julia Roberts, Woody Harrelson, Owen Wilson and so on the same Hawaiian status as a direct descendant of Queen Liliʻuokalani, the archipelago’s last regent whose rule was ended at the point of a bayonet by US Marines in 1893.

Even someone like John John Florence, I’d guess, would avoid calling himself Hawaiian and would phrase an answer to the question of his origins with, “I’m from Hawaii.”

Fans of BJ went to town on the Champ.

“Nah bro not how it works.”

Um no. Not even. YIKES

Now everybody going tink dey hawaiian smh

Haole vote secured.

Native Hawaiians, or simply Hawaiians (Hawaiian: kānaka ʻōiwi, kānaka maoli, and Hawaiʻi maoli), are the Indigenous Polynesian people of the Hawaiian Islands. The traditional name of the Hawaiian people is Kānaka Maoli.

No, absolutely not. If someone is living in Hawai’i and is not Hawaiian, it does NOT make them Hawaiian.

You still have time to delete this

Im haole and I live on Oahu. I love the place and the people but I know I’m not Hawaiian. People can have their own culture and still be respectful to each other.

No no no absolutely not! I was born n raised here n have no Hawaiian blood so that makes me “local” not Hawaiian. My husband n babies r of hawaiian blood but I know where I stand when it comes to this topic! So if I lived in the Marshall Islands would I be a Micronesian?? This is ridiculous!

unks took one too many hits to the cranium bc ABSOLUTELY NOT

Have you been living under a rock? Kānaka have been consistently battling the ignorance of foreigners and locals alike, much more amidst the pandemic, for this exact ignorant ideology & you want to validate folks who’ve sought to invalidate the voices & authors of Hawai’i… you’re so out of touch for this. I don’t know who you’re panhandling to or grifting for, but this is not it. Let it be said & clear, living in Hawai’i ≠ Hawaiian

And so on.


Photo: Derek Symons.

Surfer scalped by longboarder at crowded beach delivers pointed message to perpetrator: “Honestly I hope next time she seriously thinks about all the people out there and doesn’t snake people and cut people off.”

"...this doesn't have to happen."

Lineups have been, undeniably, more choked in these the Covid years of our lives than any time previously in surfing’s long and sordid history. Everyone home from work/school, everyone looking to add fitness to weary lives, the ocean providing natural social distancing except at places like Cardiff Reef, Malibu, Noosa where soft rollers beg to be feasted upon by the VAL horde.

Well, an Australian man recently became scaled whilst out in the aforementioned Noosa and has calm but serious words for his perpetrator.

The scene is laid when Derek Symons decided to take a summer day’s surf and he picks up the story from here…

“One person cut me off and knocked me off a wave, and then while I was recovering and trying to untangle everything, his partner or friend caught the next wave and just ploughed straight over the top of me. It’s just stupid actions and people don’t think about the consequences but it could have been way worse. Honestly I hope next time she seriously thinks about all the people out there and doesn’t snake people and cut people off. I am a capable surfer, a strong paddler and have been surfing in Noosa for over 20 years now. To go out there and not turn when you could have easily gone around someone — why would people purposely want to hammer someone? Lucky it was on top of my head and not my face or spine. Surfing is supposed to be fun. Please watch out for others out there especially when it is pumping … this doesn’t have to happen.”

That top of his head required seventeen staples to close but how wonderful is his attitude? I would be spitting expletives if I had been scalped but he calmly offers advice.

Not the hero we deserve but certainly the hero we need.


Bombshell: Kelly Slater’s 12th world title dream in tatters after Australia’s Federal Sports Minister says Champ has “no chance of getting into the country” unless he’s vaccinated prior to arrival!

“I don’t like the chances of him competing in Victoria, and I’d hate to think of what the chances were of him competing in Western Australia.”

Kelly Slater’s dream of snatching an unlikely world title in his fiftieth year have been all but smashed following a bombshell announcement by Australia’s Federal Sports Minister Richard Colbeck who said Slater has “no chance of getting into the country” unless he’s been injected with an approved COVID-19 vaccine. 

“I reckon he knows the rules. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a surfer, or a tennis player, a tourist or anyone else, those are the rules. They apply to everyone,” Colbeck said. “I don’t like the chances of him competing in Victoria, and I’d hate to think of what the chances were of him competing in Western Australia.”

The fourth and fifth events on this year’s ten-event tour are Bells and Margarets, April 10 through May 4.

Australia’s vax policies have come into sharp relief the past couple of weeks following the deportation of world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic.

Novak, who ain’t into COVID vaccines, secured a vax exemption to compete at the Australian Open in Melbourne, which, amid a rising furore from Australians, was quickly cancelled by the country’s PM.

When The New York Times posted the story on Instagram, Slater teed off with the claim Melbourne’s citizens had been brainwashed by its state masters, developing a bond with their captors during six lockdowns totalling 262 days after COVID kicked off worldwide in March 2020.

“Maybe Stockholm Syndrome can now change its name to Melbourne/Australia Syndrome,” wrote Slater. “It’s sad to see the celebrated division by the “virtuous” vaccinated. If you’re vaccinated why are you concerned/worried about anyone else’s status… unless, of course, it doesn’t protect you? Or you’re scared you’ll catch it or upset you had to take the risk of vaccination yourself? So much brainwashed hatred in people’s hearts regardless of vax status.”

Last October, Slater was slammed by the Australian press after launching multiple fronts in the online vaccine war, saying friends have “literally” been killed by vaccines and that he knows more about being healthy than “99 percent of doctors.”


Surf Journalist realizes, with the help of personal digital fitness and health coach, that pitiful inertia can be forever shattered!

Buy here.

Almost one year ago, to date, or maybe six months, I strapped a WHOOP band around my wrist, logged on to a technical breakdown by the WHOOP team and bathed myself in an unhealthy skepticism. The media attache was bubbly and fit, excited about how the personal digital fitness and health coach had changed her life, excited about how it would change ours.

Except dubiousness reigned in my foolish heart.

What she said made sense, sure, but I was ok, didn’t need no help, would never need help.

WHOOP was for someone else. For the generally unfit, lightly out of shape. The Gogganses of this world.

Still, I kept the sleek neoprene strop around wrist and even began checking in with the easy to navigate cellular telephone application that marked just how much my life had succumbed to a pitiful inertia.

Movement, actual movement, heart-pumping, blood-pulsing movement a rarity.

Well, I committed to changing that, slowly, at first, with a rapid uptick once I realized how much better I felt when sore, when physically tired, when actually pushing myself.

How much better I surfed.

And so I started jogging and checking my Strain numbers. I started dancing ballet and checking my Strain numbers. I began sleeping when told, resting when warned, surfing more.

And better.

All of a sudden, the active, healthy life was mine though without some major reckoning but rather simple daily reminders, tips, data and statistics.

I began plotting even more ballet performances, a path toward climbing Mt. Everest, under 6 minute mile time, session at the  legendary wave that crowns surfing champions.

Lower Trestles.

WHOOP, at the end, is a dream maker and while you may remain skeptical, dubious, foolish, I dare you to try to break your own dismal inertia for we all know inertia is death.

Embarrassing demise.

Buy here.