New drone footage of massive Waimea illustrates surfing’s new normal: “With over 50 death-wishing surfers battling one another for each swell, it also provides an idea of just how crowded the sport has gotten, even on the heaviest of days in the most formidable of spots!”

Crowds, amirite?

Crowds, amirite? Covid has undeniably exploded surfing’s popularity though, I’ll be honest, I only thought it was at soft n’ easy breaks. Longboard spots etc. Jonah Hill’s backyard but new drone footage shot over the great Waimea days ago during a very large run of swell seemingly proves that crowds are, in fact, everywhere.

According to Drone DJ:

That vicarious two-part UAV footage was taken January 22, when waves were reportedly surging in at over 20 feet, and dishing out beatings the Honolulu Star Advertiser said prompted 53 lifeguard rescues.

But the educational utility – and, quite possibly, nerve-ruining effects – of the drone video isn’t limited to its close-up perspective of the so-called “fun” of taking off late on a two story-high Waimea wave. With over 50 death-wishing surfers battling one another for each swell, it also provides an idea of just how crowded the sport has gotten, even on the heaviest of days in the most formidable of spots.

The other thing it offers less daring surfers and non-paddlers alike is an idea of how tough it is to control an enormous drop while also avoiding the small army of people wallowing out front as they scratch frantically to get outside the giant incoming set. Whether you’re risking your neck for a slide down Mt. Liquid while navigating the human slalom run, or one of those who’ve made themselves floating human buzzsaw targets in front, the commonly shared fate of surfing Waimea in winter is ending up worse for wear under an avalanche of white water.

Were you out?

Thinking about going out during next swell?

Part of the problem or solution?


“Ended up with 8 staples in the back of my head, 6 stitches in my chin, cuts all over my body from my shoulders, to my hips and lower body, all of which from the reef. The head injuries are always a major concern and something that is going to be looked into, since I did have a concussion but the most significant damage done was actually from my board. Underwater my board must’ve hit me pretty hard in the upper abdomen causing a laceration in my pancreas." | Photo: @jimhogan_

Hawaiian surf prodigy in bizarre, near-fatal wipeout at Pipeline, “North Shore lifeguards are the reason I’m alive!”

Board tries to rip out surf star's pancreas.

Eli Hanneman, the nineteen year old from Maui who surfs as if he was a wizard casting a spell, has almost died in a bizarre wipeout at Pipeline, his board reversing into his guts while his head and face connected with the infamous reef.

Eighties pro Jim Hogan snatched a sequence of the event.

 

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“Took a pretty bad spill out at Pipe Monday afternoon which put me in the hospital. I got pretty banged up but I believe God has had his hand on me through it all!,” Eli wrote on Instagram.

 

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A post shared by Eli (@elihanneman)

“I can’t thank @brodi_sale @northshorelifeguardassociationenough for saving my life, you guys are the reason I’m still alive❤️. I don’t have too much memory of what went down but if I didn’t mention anyone that helped me let me know so you don’t go unnoticed and unappreciated! I’m pretty strung out on drugs right now so I might sound fried but I’m just so happy to be alive.

“Ended up with 8 staples in the back of my head, 6 stitches in my chin, cuts all over my body from my shoulders, to my hips and lower body, all of which from the reef. The head injuries are always a major concern and something that is going to be looked into, since I did have a concussion but the most significant damage done was actually from my board.

“Underwater my board must’ve hit me pretty hard in the upper abdomen causing a laceration in my pancreas, which was causing significant pain to my stomach area. Luckily the doctors found that it was not something I needed surgery for and I was able to be operated through my stomach without surgery needing to be done.”

A who’s who of pro surfing, including Zeke Lau, Jamie O’Brien, Conner Coffin, Carrissa Moore and Kai Lenny dived into Eli’s IG to pay their respects, wish a speedy recovery, throw a few prayers etc.


Surfing, dangerous.

Two-time Academy Award nominated actor and Matt Biolos lookalike Jonah Hill almost loses eye in wild surfing accident during Hawaiian vacay!

Malibu strongman and self-proclaimed "Surf Jew" punched in face by board.

The two-time Academy Award-nominated actor and body positivity activist Jonah Hill, famous for his comedic turns in a series of box-office hits including Get Him to the Greek where alpha rock star Russell Brand shelves his bag of heroin inside Jonah’s ass, has revealed just how close he came to losing an eye recently when his board punched him in the face.

In a post to his three-and-a-half million followers, Hill employed his legendary humour to explain the almost-blinding collision with his board while on a Hawaiian vacay with shredder girlfriend Sarah Brady.

“Surf Jew” Hill, who is thirty-eight, is a surf veteran of two years and recently became a Malibu local after buying a nine-million dollar house there. The “Surf Jew” sticker on his surfboard and “Surf Jew” hoodies serve as an ironic punch in the nose to Malibu’s traditional Nazi-punk culture popularised by Miki Dora, Greg Noll and co.

 

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Kevin Backstrom rides his line during day one qualifiers at Natural Selection Tour stop one in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA on 25 January, 2022.
Kevin Backstrom rides his line during day one qualifiers at Natural Selection Tour stop one in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA on 25 January, 2022.

Snowboarding spectacular “Natural Selection” gets everything right that is wrong in organized professional surfing!

Erik Logan, are you watching?

The Billabong Pro Pipeline née Masters is but hours away and as much as we may want to excite, thrill, at our heroes back in singlets, a certain exhaustion looms. Oh, professional organized surfing is a fun-adjacent way to kill a work day but, let’s be honest with each other, how many heats are actually worth watching?

How many surfers, themselves, are (a fact made truly clear with Karl Von Fanningstadt’s brilliant Power Rankings)?

Does Leonardo Fioravanti vs. Deivid Silva vs. Nat Young (heat 12) get your heart pumping? What about Frederico Morais vs. Miguel Pupo vs. Jackson Baker (heat 8)?

Morgan Cibilic vs. Connor O’Leary vs. Caio Ibelli (heat 3)?

Italo Ferreira vs. Callum Robson vs. Miguel Tudela (heat 5)?

No because rarely do we get to see the surfers we want battling each other or the surfers we want full stop.

The World Surf League tried to remedy by introducing the “Final’s Day” concept which works well enough (minus Lower Trestles) except why was it not pushed further? Why was the very idea of seeding based upon standing tossed into the trash and lit on fire?

Take snowboarding’s Natural Selection, currently underway in gorgeous Jackson Hole, Wyoming (watch day one here). Now I know that your eyes roll when I get to talking about snowboarding but the tour’s format is simply superior. There is, first, no qualifying series. The snowboarders are chosen and generally the ones fans want to see. There is, second, no seeding. The events begin with gathering of riders wherein one name is drawn. That man, or woman, then chooses whom she, or he, will go head to head against. Repeat until the bracket is finished.

Frenemies.
Frenemies.

But what utter joy. The selection of opponent is a fun bacchanal but just underneath the surface, tension reigns. The competitors whose names are drawn generally choose whom they think they can beat leading to lightly pricked egos leading to added fire on the first run day.

Each rider gets two laps, loser goes home.

As there are no Miguel Tudela equivalents, each heat is worth watching and imagine the glee we professional surf fans would experience if this was adopted by our WSL. Whom would tanned, rested and ready Kelly Slater select? What about young Ivan Florence? Mason Ho would certainly be invited and whom would he select?

Tell me this would not be much better than our current Griffin Colapinto vs. Liam O’Brien vs. Matthew McGillivray (heat 2).

Tell me this is not what you’d prefer.

Watch Jackson Hole final’s day (maybe Friday) here.


Shoulda worn a Shark Stop.
Shoulda worn a Shark Stop.

New wetsuit technology that promises to defend against great white shark bites nears Kickstarter funding goal: “We empower you to feel confident and protected!”

Worry free.

But imagine finally be able to enter the ocean without a care in the world, or at the very least not the care of becoming munched and greatly injured by the most vicious great white shark. Paddling free and mentally easy. Barreling confident and protected.

A mirage?

Wild dream?

Not if Shark Stop raises another $6000 plus change in the next 100-odd days.

Shark Stop, so the Kickstarter goes, is scientifically proven to reduce the depth of a great white shark bite. We are the world’s leading developer of Shark Bite-Resistant wetsuits using new space-age polymer nanofibre technology, with more than four years of precision research.

These suits are ideal for surfers and divers who want flexibility combined with protection. Our mission is to give everyday ocean users their peace of mind back, to be part of the beautiful ocean without worry.

The Shark Stop journey started as a response to the worrying number of shark bite incidents on the north coast of New South Wales. Haydon Burford, our founder, spent four years researching a suitable fabric to develop a shark bite-resistant wetsuit before progressing to the testing stage through Charlie Huuveneers, Head Research into Sharks at Flinders University.

For the low low price of $795, funders will receive their very own Shark Stop wetsuit. Not so flush? $150 will get a longboard fin that reads “If my life is taken, don’t take theirs.”

Do imagine the sentiment is legally binding?

I suppose if the $795 is ponied up the point will be moot.