Malibu strongman and self-proclaimed "Surf Jew" punched in face by board.
The two-time Academy Award-nominated actor and body positivity activist Jonah Hill, famous for his comedic turns in a series of box-office hits including Get Him to the Greek where alpha rock star Russell Brand shelves his bag of heroin inside Jonah’s ass, has revealed just how close he came to losing an eye recently when his board punched him in the face.
In a post to his three-and-a-half million followers, Hill employed his legendary humour to explain the almost-blinding collision with his board while on a Hawaiian vacay with shredder girlfriend Sarah Brady.
“Surf Jew” Hill, who is thirty-eight, is a surf veteran of two years and recently became a Malibu local after buying a nine-million dollar house there. The “Surf Jew” sticker on his surfboard and “Surf Jew” hoodies serve as an ironic punch in the nose to Malibu’s traditional Nazi-punk culture popularised by Miki Dora, Greg Noll and co.
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Black eye club
Johan’s hardcore dude
You can always tell when you are confronted with a lifetime achievement award for being a puss. Almost losing your eye is when that ball gets knocked out of socket, or some type of awkward penetration. Getting a black eye from a good wollup is something actual Men have dealt with their whole life. This guy is promoting his weakness, as strength. What a fat f pussy!
But what’s stronger than a fat pussy? A FUPA on SUP
has bowel movement. shares with the world
baby yeti ig challenges baby yoda…
Reaching for the last packet of spam musubi at Foodland?
It was Kolohe
Does my eye look fat??
Sure doesn’t look like a ‘board to face’ injury.
Probably got smacked out by his “shredder girlfriend” when he unexpectedly went ‘greek’…
Fuckwit dropin on local kid.
Half slap on beach.
Get Him to the Geeks.
Need a nose guard for that softy bro
Da Jui
gold…
between that comment and Belly Slater its been a tremendous week on the North Shore
“Malibu strongman”.
Multi-entende title.
*Sigh*
Soft boards are dangerous?
Spread the news Jonah.
I was thinking it would be fun to spread a rumor that the foam used in making them causes sterility or impotence, a chinese plot. Maybe an STD chemical component or skin cancer warning?
What the hell is this guy talking about?
Exactly, I don’t understand half the shit these social media people say anymore. Its all @ this and hashtag that, just tell us who the fuck you are talking about
What an insular world they live in. #insidejokesthatnoonelaughsat
Himself! Just don’t listen!
“Strongman”?
He appears to be as butterball as ever. Where did he get assaulted by his own board? Flailing around in 1ft. mushburgers at Turtle Bay?
Cos Play recreating scenes from that Sarah Marshall movie.
HEY Jonah is totally into character for the Jerry Garcia biopic so butterball is the look du jour!
Gidget, Shaun, Paskowitz, Matt, Jonah…almost enough to field a team. Apparently Fauci too. But Anthony don’t surf.
No worries, neither does Jewnah.
Get him on as the Team Doc. Got Jewnah as the Team Clown.
Inclusivity is important.
For a stupid, lowbrow movie, Get Him to the Greek was pretty funny. Now look. We have Jonah as the patron saint of VALS, and Russell Brand getting his YouTube on, pretending to be an authority on each and everything. That production was clearly cursed.
Jonah kills in Don’t Look Up.
Couldn’t finish that movie. Leo was shitting me to high heaven, and I’m usually good with him.
I had to finish it as my wife had picked it. It was fun I guess?
NEEDS MORE YELLING
Branded as the fat sidekick, Jonah knew that image, as he aged, would make him hard to cast. So he pulled off this amazing image rehab campaign, associating himself with surfing, beach culture, and repeating in interviews that he likes “the nice things,” appreciates design and beauty, etc. And the roles are rolling in. His surfing notwithstanding, he’s done a brilliant job of repositioning his brand, of reinventing himself.
Don’t you think the movie sort of sucked though?
Try Maniac on Netflix, but weird and all over the place but a lot of fun and way more interesting than most shows on there. He’s skinny enough in that to conclude butterball is not inevitable for him.
Strong guy or not I am assuming he’s still not prepared to surf Gas Chambers?